Looking for some BTDT advice please.
We've been dating for nearly two years, everyone has adjusted well and we're talking about moving in together in the next 6-12 months. We live in separate houses at the moment. My house is too small for all of us, his house would work for all of us for now. We would want to add a bedroom eventually, which is possible to do over the garage.
His house is perfect for us, as far as location, features, etc. (except for the missing bedroom but that can be fixed). My question is, how likely is it to become OUR house? Are his DC ever going to think of it as our collective house or will it always in their minds be their house? It's the house they've always lived in, that their mom used to be in too (she's still in the picture, but is not terribly involved). I'm concerned about resentment as their dad and I change things, everything from removing some of the existing furniture, adding some of mine, painting rooms ... never mind simply adjusting to all of us living together full-time.
I know there's an adjustment period to moving in together, but I'm wondering about whether this is adding a very difficult to overcome twist?
We could sell his house to move into a new-to-everyone home, but the odds of finding the same set of features are pretty slim. I wonder if it would be a good sacrifice to make, for the sake of our new family unit? Would moving all of us create even more resentment???
I'm talking myself into circles!!! Help? Anyone BTDT? What was your experience?
Thank you!
We've been dating for nearly two years, everyone has adjusted well and we're talking about moving in together in the next 6-12 months. We live in separate houses at the moment. My house is too small for all of us, his house would work for all of us for now. We would want to add a bedroom eventually, which is possible to do over the garage.
His house is perfect for us, as far as location, features, etc. (except for the missing bedroom but that can be fixed). My question is, how likely is it to become OUR house? Are his DC ever going to think of it as our collective house or will it always in their minds be their house? It's the house they've always lived in, that their mom used to be in too (she's still in the picture, but is not terribly involved). I'm concerned about resentment as their dad and I change things, everything from removing some of the existing furniture, adding some of mine, painting rooms ... never mind simply adjusting to all of us living together full-time.
I know there's an adjustment period to moving in together, but I'm wondering about whether this is adding a very difficult to overcome twist?
We could sell his house to move into a new-to-everyone home, but the odds of finding the same set of features are pretty slim. I wonder if it would be a good sacrifice to make, for the sake of our new family unit? Would moving all of us create even more resentment???
I'm talking myself into circles!!! Help? Anyone BTDT? What was your experience?
Thank you!
