How much time does your 3-5 year old spend alone? - Page 2

[Boot]

I voted 30-59 mins, but only because he has 'rest hour' in his room and usually doesn't sleep. This is not something he would choose to do on his own but I insist. Otherwise, he won't even let me leave the room to pee on my own.

[MJB]

I voted over 2 hours a day but that will change soon since my 4.5 yr. old is starting K in August. But during the school year, he was alone for most of the school day and for half his weekends (my oldest goes to his dads). He had preschool 3 half-days a week and usually one playdate a week but otherwise would play by himself in his room, read a book, or play outside alone until his brother got home. Currently my oldest has been on vacation with his dad for 2 weeks (back in a couple days) so he's been spending lots of time alone, inside or out. He does play with the neighbor kids a lot and we go do stuff, but at home he is usually doing something by himself (although he's been watching too much TV because of the World Cup).
I'd say he plays by himself for about half an hour at a time, sometimes longer if he gets into a puzzle or something.

[Katie T]

Not very much since it is summer and the oldest is home, but normally (lately at least) the 15 minutes it takes to nurse his little sister down for nap, and the time it takes to hang a load of clothes on the line when his sister is sleeping.

He is great at playing alone, when given the opportunity. When I sit in the window and read (listening for the littlest to wake so we can join him) he plays in the dirt with cars for sometimes the whole 2 hr nap.

I don't think dd2 will ever get to this point though lol.

DD1 was great at it but I think that is because she was a only child for so long.

[loraxc]

At 3...hmm, I don't remember, but probably about half an hour. She learned to read right before age 5, and that made a huge difference. I would say we've topped out at about an hour and a half? She sits and draws without needing anything from me for long periods, but I'm often right nearby, like in the kitchen. But she is quiet and not needing stuff.

I am big on encouraging independent play. From a very young age, I "fade out" when I see the child is playing happily. DS is 2 and will play by himself (though I am usuaully nearby, though not engaged with him) for easily 15-20 minutes.

ETA: Oh, I misread. TOTAL time? I'm sure it was at least an hour a day for my oldest at 3. It's probably an hour a day for DS now. If DD is home all day (she's 6) I would say 2 hours a day for her.

[PatchChild]

DS just turned three and is a pretty independent little kid, always has been. I'm a firm believer in letting kids entertain themselves, right from the start, and I think that helped. DS will happily play by himself for anywhere from 5-60 minutes at a time, many times over the day. Funny, he'll be super quiet and playful after dinner ebcause he knows it's bedtime. He seems to hope that if he's quiet, I'll forget to put him to bed.

[ecoteat]

DD is four and will play for 30+ minutes at a time alone. Sometimes she's content by herself for well over an hour. She goes outside alone to play, too--we live on 80 acres and have a well-defined area that she is free to explore.

[crowcaw]

I voted less than 30 minutes but my 4.5 yo's are twins and they're always together. They will do things quietly by themselves for quite awhile, but they're almost always in the same space. Very occassionally one will take a book and go and sit in a corner by herself for a long time, but it doesn't happen more than once a week. I don't know if they didn't have each other how willing they would be to be by themselves.

[zinemama]

My 5yo would come home from half day kindergarten and spend up to two hours by himself, doing legos, listening to books on tape.

[cappuccinosmom]

I would have to say pretty much zero. My boys are 3-7 in age, and share a bedroom, share toys, share naptime, share playtime...

The only circumstances I can think of would be if my 3 yo fell asleep at rest time and the older boys left him to sleep when they got up. Or occasionally my 5 yo comes for a "cuddle" and after 40 minutes of him jumping around on me and chattering I ask him to go play in the living room until his brothers wake up. That lasts maybe 15 minutes or so and doesn't happen every day.

[EdnaMarie]

Well, I have a 14-month-old, so it's hard because she walks between the 3.5 and me in our small apartment. I would say an hour maximum, when baby is napping if I am working at that time. She's usually playing.

[greenmamapagan]

Originally Posted by emnic77

5 minutes tops. He's 5. He plays toys by himself for a good solid hour often, but someone has to be in the room with him. He needs an audience.

Completely alone & no visual entertainment so reading eggs or watching ballet doesn't count? Less than 30 minutes a day.
Add in alone in the playroom with her brother (with me looking in every few minutes) and the total would be more like 1.5 hours.

[lucysmom]

DD (nearly 6) is an only child. She will spend long stretches with toys narrating elaborate scenarios. Not sure she would say she is alone ...

There is literally a constant stream of talking, usually in script form (various entities speaking their parts). They are usually quite courteous and solicitous of one another

It's going on right now & I always get a huge charge out of it. Sure, she loves TV and videos and watches too much, but is really just as happy to do this. It is the one reason I don't feel terrible about the large number of toys she has amassed -- she actively deploys them in these scenarios, all of them, in a sort of rotation.

[OkiMom]

It depends on her mood for the day but not much. Usually she is either with me or with her little sister playing. Maybe 30 minutes but usually not even that. Its perfectly fine with me by the way, her being alone spells trouble, she always gets into something.

[p.s]

anywhere from 30 min to 1.5 h, the far end being the rare times that ds2 sleeps in (as in ... past 5:30), so ds1 will get up and play by himself downstairs. During the day when they're both up, they're constantly together.... alternatively playing together.... or in each other's hair.

[AllisonR]

I wanted to vote for both "under 30 minutes" and "more than 2 hours"

I've got a 3 yo and a 5 yo, and they go to daycare together, and at home they are usually doing something together. Even if they are doing different things, it is often in the same room. So I would have to say under 30 minutes.

But occasionally my 5 yo asks for some space and time alone (meaning away from his little sister but also away from us), and would be happy to do this for more than 2 hours if he has a big project he is working on. And my DD will often draw for extended periods by herself and just ignore the rest of us.

[bri276]

DD will play by herself for little spurts pretty well but she really prefers to be in the same room, whether I'm working or cleaning or whatever. Very occasionally she'll go into her bedroom alone and hang out for 10 minutes, max.

[frugalmum]

I have 7 children-- my 4 year old is almost always around one of her siblings but occasionally will hole up in her own room, or in the play room, to be alone. Maybe about an hour a day.

She spends a lot of hours not under my direct supervision, however. Probably 4 hours a day I don't know exactly where she is, but her older siblings are keeping an eye on her (we live in a huge house, so without security cameras, I couldn't keep track of everyone every second!).

[Llyra]

I have three in that age range. DD1 spends quite a bit of time alone. She's 5, and she can read, so she spends some time every day reading, and likes to be alone to do it. Plus, she sometimes just goes and sits on her bed and plays quietly, or she'll be alone at the dining room table doing projects, and stuff like that. On days she's not at school, it might be as much as three hours a day.

The twins are 3. They spend a lot of time alone with each other, but not so much with each of them completely alone, just because they are always together. But there are periods during the day, especially when DD1 is at school, when one will play upstairs and one down, for instance. I would guess at least an hour on an average day, and probably more. But together, and away from me, it has to be at least three hours a day.

I've always strongly encouraged them to spend time alone, and to play away from me.

[phathui5]

Probably not even 20 minutes a day. He's always following a sibling somewhere.