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Originally Posted by MariesMama  While I understand what you're saying, my daughter does not understand the concept of a "biological father" at this age. She knows that people have a mama and a daddy, and she started calling my BF daddy on her own. I'm not going to keep this from her forever, or even for much longer.
Maybe she's just slow for not being able to grasp that the man who takes care of her and loves her and is there for her every day isn't actually her daddy. I wasn't aware that at age two, I was supposed to lay out the birds and the bees and how babies are made.
She calls BF by his name, but says that he's her daddy. End of story. MANY people in blended families are in this situation, including many on MDC. I must have completely misunderstood those situations when I interpreted mine as being remotely similar.
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That is almost the same situation we have. Ex is barely involved in ds's life (he does see him a couple times a year when I bring ds to him but doesn't talk to him (or me) between those visits. DS has no idea who he is. DP and I have been together for over 3 years. DS calls dp by his first name, but if you ask him who "dad" is, he says dp. We've never told him dp was his dad, he assumes he is because dp is there for him every day.
But we never hide the fact that he has "another dad". We tell him he has 2 dads. He, at 6 years old, still doesn't "get" it and will argue til he's blue in the face that a boy can only have 1 dad (and he says that's dp). But I still never tell him he only has 1 dad. I will forever tell him he has 2 dads, even if he doesn't believe it now, because some day he WILL believe it and it won't be a surprise to him because I would have told him it all along.
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Originally Posted by MariesMama I know I need to tell her the truth, I just hadn't figured out the best way to do it at this age.
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Get a picture of him (even better if it's of him and her together.... your ex's mom might be able to help with this) and have it in her bedroom. Talk to her randomly about how she has 2 daddies. Show her the picture and tell her that this is her dad/father/whatever you choose to call him. I actually wrote a story for ds about how ex and dp are his dads. He still didn't "get" it, but I will be able to honestly say I have never hidden that fact from him.
Good luck mama, I know this is such a sticky situation.
