(Help, Please) Sleep! *It happened again post 13*

[AFWife]

My DS is so tired he can barely sit upright. (He's been awake for 6 hours without a nap) Usually we nurse down, but after trying that 4 or 5 times now I just CAN'T anymore. I'm pregnant and it hurts AND he sucked me dry.

Each time I try to get him to sleep he just cries and screams. He'll get almost asleep and then jolt awake and start crying again.

I'M about to start crying, myself. I'm so tired of this right now.

Help, please.

[daniturtle]

I'm so sorry - it sounds really rough right now.

lots of gentle hugs for you!

I have a feeling that in your shoes I would give up on the nap for today. If he has only ever gone to sleep by nursing then it's unlikely that he is going to willingly do it any other way right now. Can you move on to some other activity? Albeit a quiet one...

Does he ever fall asleep in the car seat while you drive around? (I hated driving/being in car when I was pregnant but this isn't true for everyone and was only really true for me when after about 24 weeks or so) Sometimes this is my last-ditch attempt to get Thalia to sleep but more often I'll just say, okay, THAT sucked, we're just not getting a nap today. Early bedtime instead. And I'll let her do whatever she wants- usually play with tupperware while I cry a few tears of frustration and annoyance with myself, with her, with the world...

[AFWife]

Originally Posted by daniturtle

I'm so sorry - it sounds really rough right now.

lots of gentle hugs for you!

I have a feeling that in your shoes I would give up on the nap for today. If he has only ever gone to sleep by nursing then it's unlikely that he is going to willingly do it any other way right now. Can you move on to some other activity? Albeit a quiet one...

Does he ever fall asleep in the car seat while you drive around? (I hated driving/being in car when I was pregnant but this isn't true for everyone and was only really true for me when after about 24 weeks or so) Sometimes this is my last-ditch attempt to get Thalia to sleep but more often I'll just say, okay, THAT sucked, we're just not getting a nap today. Early bedtime instead. And I'll let her do whatever she wants- usually play with tupperware while I cry a few tears of frustration and annoyance with myself, with her, with the world...

Normally I'd forgo the nap...but he just keeps crying. Like, he begs me to hold him (he's not verbal yet but he keeps crawling up and tugging on me) but the instant I pick him up and pull him close he starts crying again.

I'm going to try to convince DH to take us for a drive when he gets home. Being a one car family sucks sometimes.

I'm just hormonal and frustrated and I don't feel like I can do this right now.

[Adallae]

Can you take him out for walk? Would that calm him down? Might not help him sleep, but it could give you a break from the crying. A bath maybe? Hang in there.

[LadyCatherine185]

we had a few really rough weeks recently surrounding this same issue. DS (22 months) was used to nursing all the way to sleep for naps, and I just couldn't do it anymore. I have no milk left, and it is just too painful. He was so tired but would just fight and fight sleep, and he won't just go to sleep on his own.

What we had to do was change his bedtime routine. Old routine-- nurse in bed, then DH came in and held him on the bed until asleep. New routine-- read books on the couch, the 3 of us "cuddle" in his bed, then I leave and DH holds him on his bed until he is asleep.

Then, I had to transfer that to our naptime routine. It took a couple weeks, and we had a few really rough days. But now for naptime, we do a few books, shorter "cuddle" in DS's bed (and sometimes he does nurse for about 10 seconds during this time-- that's about as long as I can stand it)and then I rock him to sleep. He fought it for a couple weeks, and it was taking me 30+ minutes of the rocking to get him to sleep. And I had to say several times "Liam, lay down and go to sleep." because he kept talking/playing/wiggling/crying, etc. But now he goes to sleep between 5-10 minutes. Oh, and we have to keep the room dark, with blackout curtains, and a white-noise fan. We have also sort of introduced a "lovey" (he never accepted one before) which is a blanket. He wants ME to wear the blanket as he lays on it while I rock him. It doesn't have to be a specific blanket, but just a blanket. Maybe you could try something like that?

For us the key was changing his sleep "cues" so that it didn't include nursing. Once he "got it" he doesn't fight it anymore.

[AFWife]

I think it would be easier if he were verbal...

I can't even hold him right now...it just makes him cry. And then he tries to distract himself by spitting on me...

I'm sorry if I seem really despondent

[pianojazzgirl]

You can do it mama!

My best advice (what would work best for us anyway) would be to pop him in the stroller and head out for a nice walk. Ideally he'll sleep in the stroller, but even if not it'll be a change of scene and fresh air for both of you (as well as a chance for him to rest).

[physmom]

Is he teething? Constipated? Those things really affect DD and she WON'T sleep if she has to poop, for instance.

Have you tried massaging him? DD won't stand being held/rocked and gets really, really freaked out by it. She's probably go in the carrier in the same position but I totally understand if you're not in the mood to babywear while pregnant.

Honestly, we've just had some days where DD wouldn't nap. She'd be like your son, totally over tired but nothing would get her down. If it was after 4 and she still wouldn't sleep we made sure she didn't actually fall asleep until 5 or 6 pm and then she'd sleep until the morning (she'd wake up to nurse but not for good).

Also, has he had enough to eat? DD won't go down if she's still hungry/thirsty.

[AFWife]

Originally Posted by pianojazzgirl

You can do it mama!

My best advice (what would work best for us anyway) would be to pop him in the stroller and head out for a nice walk. Ideally he'll sleep in the stroller, but even if not it'll be a change of scene and fresh air for both of you (as well as a chance for him to rest).

We only have one of those crappy tiny strollers. He can't sleep in it...

Originally Posted by physmom

Is he teething? Constipated? Those things really affect DD and she WON'T sleep if she has to poop, for instance.

Have you tried massaging him? DD won't stand being held/rocked and gets really, really freaked out by it. She's probably go in the carrier in the same position but I totally understand if you're not in the mood to babywear while pregnant.

Honestly, we've just had some days where DD wouldn't nap. She'd be like your son, totally over tired but nothing would get her down. If it was after 4 and she still wouldn't sleep we made sure she didn't actually fall asleep until 5 or 6 pm and then she'd sleep until the morning (she'd wake up to nurse but not for good).

Also, has he had enough to eat? DD won't go down if she's still hungry/thirsty.

He pooped today and it seemed fine. Teething in an option but the last time I gave him motrin it seemed to upset his tummy. (It was before bed and ended up being one of those terrible nights after several good ones)

He's eaten fine and has been drinking well too...I have no idea.

[physmom]

Originally Posted by AFWife

He pooped today and it seemed fine. Teething in an option but the last time I gave him motrin it seemed to upset his tummy. (It was before bed and ended up being one of those terrible nights after several good ones)

He's eaten fine and has been drinking well too...I have no idea.

Have you tried letting him suck on something cold? DD loves a frozen bag of veggies, for instance. It helps to calm her down a lot. Would tylenol be a better option for him? (We've never tried motrin)

[AFWife]

Originally Posted by physmom

Have you tried letting him suck on something cold? DD loves a frozen bag of veggies, for instance. It helps to calm her down a lot. Would tylenol be a better option for him? (We've never tried motrin)

I might try the cold thing next time....

DH came home from work early (an answered prayer!) and DS fell asleep within minutes of daddy holding him. *shrugs* I have NO idea...

[Super~Single~Mama]

Ok, I know I'm late coming into this one, but, here's what I do when that happens. My son is not quite 18mo. I put him in his pack n play with his fave stuffed animals, put on some nice music and sit down to read a book. I sit near him, talk to him when he calls me, saying things like, "mama's right here, its time to lay down and go night night - can you do that? Give your bear a big night night kiss!" In a really soothing voice.

The first time was the worst - in that it took him a long time to fall asleep, but he was happy. It helped ME b/c it allowed me to calm down - when I'm getting frustrated it makes him more upset, and makes it harder for him to fall asleep. But, if I'm calmly sitting and reading a book, talking to him in a soothing voice, and within sight, he does great. We've been doing this a few times a week since he was 17mo.

[AFWife]

It happened again last night and AGAIN for his nap today. Both times it was at least 2 hours of fighting with him to sleep...lots of tears and screaming. *sigh*

Developmental? Or should I be making a doctor's appointment? He hasnt' been to a doc since he was 2mo and never on base...I've kind of avoided it.

[blizzard_babe]

Honestly... Around that age (a little bit later, actually) DS just stopped nursing to sleep. It went from relaxing to stimulating. It was a rough little while where NOTHING worked consistently. DS basically had to re-learn his nighttime and naptime routine so that it didn't involve nursing to sleep. It SUCKED, so I know where you are. We just had to battle through until we settled on a new routine that worked for us.

*hugs*

[AFWife]

Originally Posted by blizzard_babe

Honestly... Around that age (a little bit later, actually) DS just stopped nursing to sleep. It went from relaxing to stimulating. It was a rough little while where NOTHING worked consistently. DS basically had to re-learn his nighttime and naptime routine so that it didn't involve nursing to sleep. It SUCKED, so I know where you are. We just had to battle through until we settled on a new routine that worked for us.

*hugs*

Thank you. At least it will end eventually, right? *sigh* lol

[blizzard_babe]

Originally Posted by AFWife

Thank you. At least it will end eventually, right? *sigh* lol

Honestly? Once it ended, it was better than before. Rough transition, but ended in a happy place. I won't tell you how long it took (DS is pretty... um... well... let's just say that even when he nursed to sleep it was never a pretty process so we're probably high-end on the difficult-to-get-to-sleep scale), but at this point (DS is two), on a good night, we do our nighttime routine that ends with snuggles and a book, he climbs into bed and tells me to go brush my teeth, which is my cue to leave him alone. I come and check on him periodically, and he rarely comes out to ask for snuggles.

Lordy was I a cranky woman while he was transitioning, though. The things I thought about my own offspring... oy.

[LadyCatherine185]

Originally Posted by blizzard_babe

Honestly... Around that age (a little bit later, actually) DS just stopped nursing to sleep. It went from relaxing to stimulating. It was a rough little while where NOTHING worked consistently. DS basically had to re-learn his nighttime and naptime routine so that it didn't involve nursing to sleep. It SUCKED, so I know where you are. We just had to battle through until we settled on a new routine that worked for us.

*hugs*

Like blizzard_babe said, and I said in my original post, around this age sometimes they have to learn a different sleep "cue" or "routine." Pick something you like/think will work and still with it. He will get it eventually and things will get better.

[AFWife]

I think I'm going to rearrange the furniture and bring the rocking chair out of the spare room... When I was rocking on the couch he started to calm down and almost sleep but I was so uncomfortable I couldn't keep it up.

So, should I stop nursing to sleep at all? Or start out nursing to calm him down and then go to the alternative?

[sapphire_chan]

If it's at all possible, start off nursing and don't re-offer when he pops off himself. That would hopefully avoid him getting worked up about not nursing.

[blizzard_babe]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

If it's at all possible, start off nursing and don't re-offer when he pops off himself. That would hopefully avoid him getting worked up about not nursing.

This. We moved nursing to earlier in the bedtime routine... It would get him to hold still long enough to get tired, even though it was no longer enough to get him to sleep. It became a sort of "time to calm down" cue, rather than what he used to actually fall asleep.

Like I said... it was touch-and-go for a while, but once we pushed through the pain, things were actually easier.