need reassurance about sleeping with 2 1/2 year old!

[Abylite]

I desperately need some reassurance today. My mother thinks I'm insane for STILL sleeping with our son who is 2.9 years old....he nurses to sleep and then I put him on the bed then spend time with DH downstairs. He puts our 5 year old DD to bed. DH sometimes sleep on a blowup mattress in the 2nd bedroom since his movement wakes up my DS, then I'm awake again, etc. Sometimes our 5 year old gets into be with DH...my head spins just typing this out! We do sound crazy! Or is there other families out there like us!???

I know kids just don't necessarily stop on their own (BF and co-sleeping)....I don't know if I'm ready for a fight? Or should I just let it go for now and I'll know what to do?

We live in a small space and I did put the toddler bed (after talking to my mother convincing me that I'm hurting and draining myself now and that I'm hurting my DS development) in my DD's room so now there is an option (before it was in my room...unused really) Should I try to get my DS in the bed and sleep with his sister? Make it fun? Let DH wake up at night???

Thanks for letting me vent and for any reassurance to still co-sleep or get him to sleep independently.

[CliffsideMama]

Well I don't know how much reassurance I can offer you, but I definately DO NOT think you are crazy! We are still co-sleeping with your 2.5 yo, and it's sometimes a little crowded in the bed... but we think overall it's been just great.
How long did you 5yo sleep with you?
From reading dr.sears book, it sounds like there was usually one of his 8 kids in his bed every night, as they co-slept with them all, and they usually moved into sibling beds after leaving the parents bed.
Maybe your youngest would like to sleep with your oldest? If the oldest would like it, that is.
We are currently in the process of night-weaning our DD, tonight will be night #3 and she seems to be understanding that my breasts "need to sleep at night too".
Good luck with finding a solution that works for your family.
Don't let your mother/ mother in law convince you otherwise, sleeping in a family bed is great for our kids~!

[Abylite]

Thank you! How did you go about night weaning when you are cosleeping? I would love to do this....

[mizzoh]

well, i don't have much advice as to the moving from room to room, but you are not crazy. we co-sleep every night with our 4 year old. honestly, i think it's been one of the best parenting choices we have made. you are definitely not hurting your sons development by co-sleeping!

[laughymama]

We will move into the small house we're building in a few months. It will only have one bedroom and we won't be adding on for at least a year.

So we'll have a 3 year old and a 12 month old by next August sleeping in our room. Our 2 year old's toddler bed is sidecarred. Sometimes he climbs into bed between us to snuggle.

We like cosleeping. It's worked out well for us. It's still working out well. I don't think you're crazy. Whatever works, right?

[CliffsideMama]

We told DD that my breasts need to sleep at night, and she seems to understand that idea. ( Did I mention she's 2.5 YO?) We let her pick a special cup that we put water in and left it beside the bed for when she's thirsty in the middle of the night. Then I started wearing a shirt to bed - this has been very important....
She woke the first night about as many times as "usual", (like about 5 a night) and tried to nurse. The shirt helped stop her from just latching on. It was pretty hard the first night, as she cried and I knew I could comfort her with milk, but I perservered and she really didn't cry for long before she rolled over and fell back asleep. The second night she only woke 4 times, then 3 times the next night, and if she's cranky I quietly suggest she drink some water, which she does, and then she falls asleep. I'm amazed myself at how well it's working, how she's sleeping for longer periods, and how I feel more rested in the morning.
Good luck!

[Katie T]

I was coslept with as was my 5 other sibling and we all stopped on our own. This gave me peace of mind when I started cosleeping with my DD 10yrs ago. She moved to her own room easily and without tears around 5. Probably could have done it earlier but it was never a big deal. (I got pg again and we only had a full size bed).

I still am cosleeping with a 3.9yo and a 2yo (tomorrow!) I know they will someday happily sleep in there own room when they are ready. Until 3 nights ago DH would put the 3yo to bed and I would nurse DD2 to sleep. Now the 3yo puts himself to sleep! Then we do our own thing until I go to sleep in the bed and DH on the couch. We don't get good sleep being so cramped in the bed (a king now) and this works for our family.

I have had many people tell me I am hurting my kids for parenting like I do, but I know different because I lived it and my siblings and I are totally normal (minus every having drug problems and the like )

Do what works for your family, listen to your heart and you will see that everything will turn out in the end.

[meemee]

i coslept with my parents till i was 6. after that i coslept with my brother till i was 11 1/2 when i started my periods.

my dd is almost 8 and we are still a cosleeping and nursing family. we LOVE it!!!!

when i go home to visit my mom we ALWAYS cosleep with her.

[sunfish21]

We talked ahead of time about the nummies needing to sleep and how we could still cuddle and slowly changed the latest nightime nursing and the earliest morning nursing until we were sleeping at night. DD didn't sleep through the night until we night weaned, around 19 (I think?) months. It was way easier than I thought it would be.

[ssh]

My DD nursed to sleep and was still nursing on demand at that age while co-sleeping. She weaned herself a couple of months before turning 4 and then decided she wanted to sleep in her own bed in her room a few days after turning 4. She has no sleep issues at all. She goes to sleep after being up for 13 or 14 hours, then she sleeps 10 hours. She stopped most of her night waking after all her teeth came in. Most of the world co-sleeps. And up to 5 is the common age in a lot of places. trying to get a child to sleep alone before they are ready can cause anxiety associated with sleep and that can cause sleep issues. Here are a few links http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/ , http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/new...cle1083020.ece, and http://www.naturalchild.org/tine_the..._vs_habit.html .

[russsk]

We still co-sleep with my almost 2.5 year old. I nurse him down in his room, and at some point in the night when he wakes DH brings him into ours. When DH travels for work, however, DS just walks over and climbs into bed with me.

We tried nightweaning about six or seven months ago when I got pregnant, because I needed more sleep and did not want to be nursing two kids at night once the baby was born. It did not go well. DH tried taking over the nighttime wakings and they both ended up staying up until the wee hours watching tv. Nothing changed for three nights, when I put a stop to it and resigned myself to night nursing forever. Until a few months later when I realized that DS hadn't been waking or nursing at night at all. He still wakes and comes into our room, but he doesn't need to nurse.

I'm not sure what our arrangement will be when the baby is born, but I'm not going to stress about keeping him in his own room. He's stayed the entire night in there a few times, which was really nice for us, but I'm not going to push him to do that all the time before he's ready. Eventually he will do it on his own.

[Ann-Marita]

I think your mom telling you that you are insane is a way bigger problem than your 2.9 yr old sleeping with you.

Yes, kids DO choose to wean on their own. And yes, they DO choose to sleep on their own. (It takes some longer than others to reach this point.)

It sounds like you are more interested in everybody getting a good night's sleep than in conforming to the wishes of those outside your immediate family. That's a very good thing.

I don't think you're crazy for letting your child sleep with you. You do what you need to do, and don't listen to others.

[columbusmomma]

We are still cosleeping/bedsharing with DD who will be 3 next month. I am ready to nightwean though