HELP! should I return the toy?

[tammylsmith]

SIL an BIL got my dd (3) a hot pink Barbie Power Wheels. Now I know some folks would be very happy with this, but we have a small place and it takes up half our garage. We also prefer outdoor toys that are less battery operated (and hot pink!)and toys that aren't so consumer-oriented. DD is afraid of it, to top things off. She only likes to listen to the radio. I'm tired of moving it in and out of the garage whenever we need something, and was thinking of returning it to getting a smaller car she might enjoy more. I was going to send a friendly email explaining why we couldn't keep their gift 9size anf fear issues, not the different toy values), but that we still appreciate the thought. DD never asks about it, so I was just going to make it disappear one day and show her the new one instead. If she asks about the jeep, I was just going to tell her that we thought she would like the new car better. What would you do?

[artgoddess]

I would. Do you visit them often? You could give them the option of keeping it at their place and she can play with it at their home. But short of them keeping it for you I wouldn't hesitate to return it.

My in-laws have a habit of giving my kids living things that I have to take care of for gifts without asking me first if that's okay.

[JamieCatheryn]

You don't need to send an email, though if it comes up be honest. By all means if it's huge, battery operated, and not even a favorite toy, away it goes.

[Drummer's Wife]

I agree there's no reason you need to even let them know - I mean, if they come over and ask where it is, you can explain that it scared your DD and it was too big to store.

If your DD loved it, I would say keep it - but since she doesn't, I don't see the harm in getting rid of it.

[limabean]

Return it if you want to -- I don't see a problem with that.

But I wouldn't e-mail and say that you returned it and why -- it'll just shine a light on the issue when there's no need to. If for some reason they ask about it be honest, but I wouldn't send the e-mail.

[tammylsmith]

Oh thanks everyone! I appreciate getting some good feedback. If she loved the car, I would have just accepted it and found a way to live with it. It is hers, after all, and I would respect that. Since it is abandoned (and $300 to boot! More than we ever spend on dd for one item, and she is OUR dd.... BIL has a way of saying "I love you" with dollar signs ) I think the reasonable thing to do is send it back. At least I know we can get a full refund. I won't send the email, but we see them fairly often, so I'll mention it honestly if it ever comes up

[NiteNicole]

How long have you had it? I'm just interested in how you can get a full refund for a toy that has been sitting in your garage and somewhat used? As far as I know, it comes in pieces and you have to put it together. We get a lot of gifts I'd like to "disappear" - I'd love to know where they bought it that has such a great return policy!

[rhiOrion]

i think you especially don't need to worry about it since it sounds like you'd just be getting her a different, smaller, car. I imagine he wasn't attached to the idea of giving her THAT particular car, and that another car would be just fine.

Not that it wouldn't be okay even if you weren't getting a different car. This just makes it extra okay in my book.

[NiteNicole]

If he ever asks, "she was scared of it" is a perfectly valid reason for exchanging it.

[tammylsmith]

We've only had it a month. Toys R Us has a 90 day return policy for a full refund with receipt (another reason I want to make it go away.. so it can turn into something everyone is happier with... if I wait too long, than ebay is my only option an I won't get all the $$ back. I was going to buy a smaller, less expensive car, and if I can't get cash back to put into dd's savings, then I will use the remainder on dd for books or clothes or something dd needs (I don't want to use BIL's money for anything other than the intended recipient). I was able to look up the receipt using their names and phone number. Since he put the Jeep under warranty for 3 years, we can get that refunded too

[tammylsmith]

also, it did come in pieces, and they must have had it assembled at the store, so I can take it back fully assembled because of that.

[terrordactyl]

if she's scared of it return it... and get her some things she would like.

[nextcommercial]

That was a very generous gift! How wonderful of them to do that for her.

But, I'd probably want to return it (if your dd is willing) and get something smaller. Those things are fun if you have other kids to play with it (or run over with it) but, just for one little girl, I think it wouldn't hold it's charm very well.

The size alone would be reason enough to exchange it. But, I wouldn't send them an email first. Just exchange it, and hope it never comes up??

[SativaStarr]

Originally Posted by nextcommercial

That was a very generous gift! How wonderful of them to do that for her.

But, I'd probably want to return it (if your dd is willing) and get something smaller. Those things are fun if you have other kids to play with it (or run over with it) but, just for one little girl, I think it wouldn't hold it's charm very well.

The size alone would be reason enough to exchange it. But, I wouldn't send them an email first. Just exchange it, and hope it never comes up??

I totally do NOT blame you.. we have a jeep power wheels that was given to us by our in laws (it was their DD's.. DH's step sis is only 5 year older than DS).. and I HATE that thing. We couldnt return it so its sitting in the rafters in my parents' garage.

[Tigerchild]

If they gave you the reciept I think that's a good reason to think they will not be too terribly offended if you return it because she is frightened of it.

There is one thing I'd consider though--is there a big ticket item that you think that DD would really like that this could be applied towards (like a wood play kitchen, a really nice natural toy ($$$) that you've always kinda drooled over, ect?

If your BIL expresses love through expensive, cool gifts then to be honest I would not turn around and get a bunch of little stuff or books, but something really special with that money (even if you hang on to it for a little while to figure out what). That way if it ever comes up, you can say, "Oh, she was scared of the car so we returned it, but we used the money to get this beautiful wood play kitchen and beautiful food that she LOVES and is heirloom quality, look how happy it makes her! Thank you so much!" YOu know, in that context not only will you make the man's day for him, he might actually go for something similar in the future!

[mamazee]

I've come to learn over time that I can't feel obligated to hold onto gifts no matter what and forever. If your dd loved it, I'd wonder, but if she doesn't even like it and it's taking up tons of space, then you absolutely should return it. And if they ask, be honest and gentle ("We really appreciated it, but unfortunately she was afraid to ride it, and it took up so much space and wasn't getting used, so we returned it and thankfully were able to get some really great stuff we'd needed but hadn't been able to get." Something like that.), but I wouldn't send an email.

[eepster]

I would make sure your DD really is OK with exchanging it. She might be more attached to it than you realize, so would have a detailed discussion before deciding. I wouldn't just go by how much she seems to get out of it, sitting in it and playing the radio might just be her way of gradually working up the courage to actually ride in it.

[buttercup784ever]

I agree with the poster that said you should buy another gift of equal value instead of a bunch of smaller gifts. Obviously this kind of toy is bought for the 'wow' factor. I mean, you *can* do what you want with the money, but I think it would be a nice gesture to use the money to buy one large item your dd can point to and say, 'uncle got me this', ya know?

But I would have no problem bringing it back. I'm sure your BIL wants you to have something your dd will actually use!

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by Tigerchild

If they gave you the reciept I think that's a good reason to think they will not be too terribly offended if you return it because she is frightened of it.

There is one thing I'd consider though--is there a big ticket item that you think that DD would really like that this could be applied towards (like a wood play kitchen, a really nice natural toy ($$$) that you've always kinda drooled over, ect?

If your BIL expresses love through expensive, cool gifts then to be honest I would not turn around and get a bunch of little stuff or books, but something really special with that money (even if you hang on to it for a little while to figure out what). That way if it ever comes up, you can say, "Oh, she was scared of the car so we returned it, but we used the money to get this beautiful wood play kitchen and beautiful food that she LOVES and is heirloom quality, look how happy it makes her! Thank you so much!" YOu know, in that context not only will you make the man's day for him, he might actually go for something similar in the future!

I'm with Tigerchild - get something big that you've been thinking would be great for your DD! A dollhouse or play kitchen sounds like a great idea!! ETA - especially since you said you see them quite often - they'll see the dollhouse/kitchen/whatever you decide to get and see how much she plays with it.