Only way he'll know comfort is through the mouth?

[nervousmommy]

Hi,
I'm breastfeeding my 18month old son. I never planned on breastfeeding past a year, but at 6 months I realized that I need to follow my mama instinct, and I started reading mothering.com and also hooked into a community of ap mothers here in town. I feel that I'm doing the best for my son and for myself. I want to get pregnant again (I'm 40) and have planned on continuing to breastfeed as long as my son wants, hopefully through another pregnancy and maybe continuing to tandem. I will evaluate the relationship as it goes and make adjustments as neccessary.

I've been dealing with anxiety/depression most of my adult life, and I'm dealing with it again. I'm also just exhausted ( we co-sleep) and he wakes often. I think most of this is due to the exhaustion.

My therapist mentioned that he thought breastfeeding past the age of two will cause a child to learn that the only source of comfort is through the mouth. Become orally fixated. My therapist coslept with his kids. His wife went back to work at 3 months -I don't know about the breastfeeding relationship .

Thoughts??...don't want this to be the case for my child...obese, smoking, alcoholic....you know all the things that an orally fixated person would deal with.

[KristyDi]

Short answer, Bull.

Slightly longer answer. Is BFing the only way you comfort your child now? I doubt it. You pat his back. You hug and hold him. You speak soothingly. Are there other adults in his life that comfort him sometimes? I bet they don't nurse him.


It's an un-researched personal opinion based on ignorance of extended BF and maybe a few stories from people in his life. In fact research has found that breastfed children are less likely to be obese adults. There are whole cultures where children are routinely breastfed past 2. Is it his opinion that everyone in these cultures is orally fixated?

[alegna]

Total BS. My dd is still nursing (once a day, about a minute) at nearly 6. She is not an oral kid. Hardly eats anything. Never put things in her mouth. She certainly is not comforted orally.

-Angela

[rparker]

I know lots of orally fixated adults (myself included) who were either breastfed for one year or less or not breastfed at all. My breastfed 2.5 year old is less "orally fixated" than her friends who've been weaned to pacifiers... In my experience therapists give crap breastfeeding advice. Mine told me (when I was pregnant) that I would be better off formula feeding and starting a non-bf compatible medication.

[artgoddess]

nope. Your therapist should stick to things he does know and leave your boobs out of the conversation.

[taramoon13]

i agree with pp's. total bs. my ds is almost 3 and still BFs mainly to sleep at night and for nap. he used comfort himself with that, but as he got older he just moved out of that. i never turned him down, i just think that as he got older his confidence of having the comforting breast there through his whole life started to show through. he absolutely no oral fixation whatsoever. when i see kids with pacis i always think they were taken off breastfeeding too early and that's why they end up needing that.

[yarngoddess]

That's the first time I've ever heard THAT particular line! Wow. IMO that is a line of bologna. I would think that if that were true, then more countries outside of the US, in places where the "typical" breastfeeding relationship is between 2-7yrs of age at weaning- then they would MORE rates of "Oral Fixation" issues. KWIM?