2nd+-time mamas, when did you resume DTD PP?

[La Sombra]

I am a second-time mama myself and I don't remember exactly when we started DTD again after dd was born. However, my sex life was already practically dead long before she was born (before she was conceived, even) so I don't know that my own experience is much help with this question.

For those of you who are not first-time mamas, how soon after dc was born did you start DTD again? Were your obstacles more physical or emotional?

I know this is kind of a silly thing to worry about because whatever the case is, it'll be fine--I know that. I just have a very enjoyable sex life at the moment and--having gone so long without that in my first marriage--I worry about it just drying up. Like I said, I know it's a bit silly but given my past I can't help but think about it.

Maybe in another month or two I will read this and think how ridiculous that I even worried or wondered because I'll be so tired/sore that I can't even bother to care about sex at all. Or maybe my libido will remain intact and after a brief interval of physical abstinence, I'll go back to enjoying sex again--with the new challenges of working around an infant, of course.

In the meantime, please share your PP DTD experiences with me! TIA!

[queenofchaos]

Usually when bleeding stopped and things down below weren't too sore to make things uncomfortable. Sometimes that was only a week PP. Usually by 3 wks. I know the recs are 6 wks.
By the time babe is born, we've gone so long w/out, it's hard to wait. I figure when I stop bleeding and things feel OK, then it's go time! LOL

[SpuglyRoo]

Ugh, this drove me crazy! My DH becomes all nurturing and sensitive and wanting to "just cuddle" when I get pregnant and of course I become as horny as heck! Total opposites! (We do each compromise and come away "relatively" happy, but still lol) After I had my DS I recovered VERY quickly and was ready to GO! But DH was still unsure that I was well enough because "isn't the recommendation at least 6 weeks?" and he didn't want to hurt me/damage me/push me too far too soon. All very considerate and all, but I think I should know what my body is capable of. I finally just had to seduce him one night while DS was sleeping (I think around 3 weeks?) and oh baby! It was like waking the beast .

So, I guess I'm saying my obstacle was my DH, he is after all a necessary part of the process

Listen to your body, and don't stress about it. Who knows what you will be feeling and when you will be feeling it. As long as you are making time for each other, you will be okay. Remember, you two were partners before DC came along and will hopefully be partners after DC has moved along. Keep your relationship strong (not just physically, although I think that helps ) and it should help foster strong relationships with you and your children and your children and their future spouses.

[terra-pip]

Our sex life usually tapers off in the last trimester...I just can not stand the extra weight and obstacle in the way. Postpartum we wait the recommended time and ease into it slowly. My husband gets all frustrated but I'm the type that just does not care at all when I'm sore or tired or completely exhausted from baby and other kiddos. Usually by a few months postpartum it slowly starts to pick up. I read a study a long time ago that showed that a couples relationship and sex life can be at its rockiest for the first 5 years of each childs life. I find this to be true for us. It's a highly busy and invested time. I find if we make time to just be close and talk and get away from the kids by ourselves it's a big help. We have been known to take our kids to grandparents and then come home and do nothing but nap together. Sounds silly but it helps!! You have to be able to have other interests besides sexual ones and parenting wife/husband roles with your partner as well...if you're best friends as well..I find that anything can be overcome.

[broodymama]

It's ranged from 3-5 weeks for me, usually once the bleeding is finished. DS2 is 11 days right now and I'm just waiting for the last of the PP bleeding to be done.

After the other kids the obstacles were more psychological than physical. Well, "obstacles" makes it sound like a huge deal when in reality it wasn't, just a little bit of apprehension. Nothing that a little lube and wine couldn't take care of.

[VillageMom6]

After my first baby I waited eight weeks and it hurt a bit for a while. Plus I had mental issues with the act... the last time there was activity in that area it was a baby coming out. I couldn't easily make the switch to that area being party central again.

After my second and subsequent babies I could barely wait four weeks. I wouldn't do it any sooner because of the (slight) risk of infection. But at least I had gotten over the mental hang-ups!

[mediumcrunch]

Anywhere from 6 weeks to 3 months.

[~Demeter~]

I think with my second, somewhere around the 3 week mark? Same with my 3rd, my 4th we tried around the 3 week mark but things were still very painful for me and after our first attempt I'm prettysure we waited a couple more months for me to heal.

[Litcrit]

So, how does one know one's cervix is closed and there's no more risk of infection without going to the gyn? When the bleeding stops? It can't always be exactly 6 weeks, right?

The first time, it was three months and I still wasn't ready - my episiotomy STILL hadn't healed and I was pretty much shaken by the birth experience.

This time... I'm 2 weeks PP and have been eager for some time... but I still have a few stitches and some bleeding, so I'm wondering how much more to wait.

[kittywitty]

Always at 6 weeks-usually to the day. I can't wait much longer than that but the thought of doing it sooner is not cool with me for my body. It still hurts at 6 weeks pp, I can't imagine sooner.

[Jaimee]

Ugh, I am 6 months pp and still have zero interest. I actually started a poll here to see sort of where the averages lie. I was beginning to get worried I was a major anomaly and damaging my marriage because of it. Sigh... But so far have only discovered that "most" women seem to have interest and actually have sex again within the first two months, many even less than a month pp. But there are also several that were later and some much later. So, whatever works for you and your dh! Check out the poll here in case you missed it.

[zippy_francis]

With our first we waited 5 wks pp, which was still a as they say. But I had a tougher delivery with my first DD and a few stitches.

But with DD-2 we waited 2 weeks
It helped that I had a great delivery with an awesome midwife, no stitches either so it was easy to get back in to swing of things pretty quick!