Need help

[Debobu]

My 19 month old don is the sweetest, most loving, fun guy out there and I am madly in love with him. The problem is that is is not a great sleeper....
lately however I am feeling frustrated and lose my patience easily.
O feel I am getting bitter and feeling angry and resentful because I feel exhausted and spent.
I am a sahm and love being with him but he wakes up many times at night to nurse and I am pretty much his pacifier. In the last few weeks he is also struggling to fall asleep taking me sometimes over an jour of bouncing with my nipple in hid mouth and the other nipple being squeezed and pulled!!!
He is Aldo waking up at 4;30 or 5 am snd multiple times during the night. He's always woken up many x at night though...
I am feeling anxious angry frustrated and then deppressed when j lose my patience with him.
I want to continue breastfeeding but I am considering night weaning.
I can't continue this pattern of frustation xnd then guilt and deppression
I want to be a good mom to him as I love him with all my heart!
What to do??
Thanks

[Debobu]

Sorry for the mispellings and mistakes-I am typing from my phone!!!!

[physmom]

Sounds a lot like DD. She's gotten better at night BUT still nurses a lot during the day and will either through a huge tantrum or start attacking my breasts if I ask that she waits. I feel like I'm at my end of my rope sometimes with our nursing relationship. If I didn't feel so strongly about nursing her until at least 2 and I also could put up with actually weaning her (I am SERIOUSLY scared of that thought), I'd probably try and cut back more.

So no real advice here but you have my sympathy!!! The only thing that has helped was upping DD's solid intake (basically picking foods we KNOW she'll eat since she's a picky eater. Not what I'd like to do but it's given me more sleep at night).

[Debobu]

Thanks for understanding!

I guess I feel like it is time to night wean my son- he is not sleeping enough and neither am I. It is hurting our relationship and our household.
I just feel conflicted- I have a hard time saying no to him when it comes to giving love-nurturance, nursing etc.....

[Jayray]

You need to do what you need to do to stay sane and healthy. You know in your gut what's best for you and what's best for him. He knows that you love him and that you're taking care of him. Nightweaning won't change that. It will just be a change for him and change is always a bit hard at first even for adults!!

I found that when I stopped nursing DS to sleep, he went to sleep much more easily and quickly. I still nurse him as part of the bedtime routine, but it is not the last thing. I nurse him and then DH reads him a story, rocks/sings a little and lays him in his crib. He goes to sleep (the final eye-closing) in his crib with DH in the room. He doesn't cry or fuss (although he did fuss a bit the first couple weeks we went to this routine--DH would comfort him a bit and lay him back down when he got upset). This might be trickier if you cosleep, but I'm sure you could change up the routine somehow. It will probably be hard at first.

[Debobu]

Thanks!
I guess I need to accept it will be hard in the beginning for both of us.
I know I have a hard time with change myself....
Thanks again!

[elleystar]

My DS went through a phase like that too, starting around 17 mo or so, and it took us MONTHS of frustration and poor sleep on all our parts to realize maybe it was time to nightwean! We pulled a twin size mattress into the bedroom, shoved right up against our mattress on DH's side, so that if he woke in the night for comfort, he'd come across daddy first. I made the decision to nightwean the same day. DH took over bedtime for a while to help remove the bedtime association with nursing. Guess what? Starting from that first night, DS slept fantastically. Sometimes he'll stay the whole night in his bed, sometimes he'll wake in the middle of the night just long enough to crawl up and snuggle DH and sleep like a log till morning. It didn't affect our daytime nursing at all, he was more than happy to put off nursing until we all got up for the day. All I can say is, what took me so long?!?

[Debobu]

Thanks Elleystar!!!

So your DS was ok since the beginning of the process?
My ds asks to nurse constantly at night ...he wakes up, seats up and calls me and (when I am not in the room-before I go to sleep) -and asks to nurse- I have to get him to lie down and nurse him and he's out instantaneously. Even if my Dh goes in he asks for boob and starts to cry- his sleep assoc with boob is VERY strong!!!!
Was your DS the same way?
Thanks!

[liliaceae]

Absolutey nightwean. Your son is old enough to understand what's going on if you explain it to him, even if he's not too happy about it. Have you read Jay Gordon's nightweaning method? Maybe try some version of that, whatever you think would work best with your son.

I nightweaned my son at 19 months and it was surprisingly easy, he didn't even cry. It might also help if your partner can put him to sleep for awhile, with you in another room.