How long before you stopped being called "Mrs"?

[Purple*Lotus]

I am not a parent, but I think this is the best place for my thread.

My divorce wont be final until September/Octoberish. Everyone in my life knows that I left STBX and why I left, etc. My birthday is coming up and I am getting cards addressed to Mrs. Jaime HisLastName. I mean, really? It is not a huge deal. But it makes my skin crawl to see it! There probably isn't a nice way to mention this to anyone. And hopefully I wont get any more mail until the Christmas cards start rolling in. This is a peeve of mine because I don't like being reminded that I am married. That probably sounds bad, but I just prefer to move on and to try to forget this huge mistake that I made.

I just need to vent. For some reason I got very distressed with the "Mrs" mail I have been getting.

[VocalMinority]

Although I was never married to my ex, even today (13 years after we split up), I am STILL called "Mrs. Ex" by people who know our twins but don't know our marital status.

In MY situation, I just don't make a big deal out of it. If it's a person with whom I anticipate having a long-term acquaintanceship, I casually, cheerfully correct them. If it's someone I only expect to see in passing at the odd school funtion, I don't bother with corrections. They're only addressing me because they know I'm my kids' mom - and my kids DO have the same last name as my ex. They really don't care that we're split up and married to other people, so why bore them by giving them those details?

In YOUR situation, it seems awkward (maybe even rude?) that someone who knows you well enough to remember your birthday is either oblivious of your marital status or wants to throw it in your face.

Send a pleasant thank-you card (yes, technically according to Miss Manners we should send thank-you cards when we receive greeting cards... that's why characters in Victorian novels always have so much "correspondence" to do - the cycle never ended!) and sign it with your new, unmarried name. If you have a loopy, illegible signature, print your new name under your signature as with a typed letter. If the recipient is shocked or confused, he/she can either contact you or gossip about you behind your back, to discover the scoop on your new marital status. Either way, that person probably won't address you as "Mrs. Ex" in next year's birthday card.

[Learning_Mum]

I guess techinically you would be Mrs until your divorce is final. Personally everything just gets addressed to Natalie HisLastName to me (which is still my name, though I keep thinking about going back to my maiden name). The only time I get called Mrs HisLastName I correct them and say "Natalie" because being called Mrs anything makes me feel old!

[Rosehip]

I'm called Mrs. MyMaidenName by my friend's kids in town. I never took his name, so I guess I was never technically a Mrs. anything, but it doesn't bother me. FWIW, none of these families knew me when I was still with X. They're just all used to using "Mrs."

Occasionally I get called Mrs. HisName at the pediatrician's office or some such place. I've been divorced for a year, separated for 2+ years.

[lilyka]

Honestly I just drop the title thing all together. people call me everything and I hate it all. I am not a Miss or a Mrs and Ms. just feels like defeat. So I say "just call me Sandra" and I thin most mail is addressed to Sandra Lastname.

[meandmine]

I struggle with this, but from the opposite perspective, I think ...

I am technically still married (any day now, please, your honor). I am still Mrs. Hislastname.

In my workplace everyone is Miss, Ms. or Mrs.

Frankly, I am not Ms. Hislastname nor Miss Hislastname. I hate how women's marital status is revealed by our form of address. Ms. is just a shortened version of Miss ...

So, because I have two kids and because I have his last name, up until now I have prefered Mrs. -- for me it stands for mom of two kids with his last name.

Just my comfort level -- at my age, I am just not a "miss' any more :-).

At my new school, I may change to Ms. -- I guess it is marital status neutral.

M