ever have moments when you miss just being you? - Page 2

[mambera]

Originally Posted by october

This era of my life where a teensy little wee human being needs me so desperately, loves me so madly, and inspires me to see just how good I can be, this era, too, shall pass. And just like the last one, I am choosing to savor these moments as much as possible. They will be fleeting. If I make it to 70 when I look back on this time, I will remember how fast it flew by. How precious it was.

DD was totally unplanned and triggered a shotgun wedding for me and DH. But yeah, she is the best thing that ever happened to us.

Sure, I miss being a young free twentysomething in the big city. But I did that for years, and at some point in the future I will again be able to STTN, go out with friends, whatever.

The baby years are very time-limited. Overall the years in my life that I don't have to worry about breastfeeding and nap schedules will be many more than the years that I do. I choose to enjoy this time while it is here, knowing that it will end soon and I will probably miss it.

[DCMama01]

Yep. It also didnt help that DP was initially unsupportive and selfish. He would try to make me feel guilty for wanting time apart from DD (so wrong). Returning to work helped because it gave me regular adult conversation that wasnt centered around babies. I've also started going out with my friends again. Having awesome family support helps.

I just turned 27 and I spent the better part of 26 unhappy. Not anymore!

[jennybear]

SugarPop: honestly, I think I have the energy precisely because I'm not with DD 24/7. Babies are exhausting!

[wombatclay]

Moving to Personal Growth! Good luck with the journey!

[bluebirdiemama]

I feel this way often. I'm more of an introvert, so the problem is less of missing social life, but I really miss being able to read all day, or staying up all night painting, or taking a walk when ever I feel like it. Miss going out w my hubby--to concerts, or just to hang out...


I feel self ish and guilty about it, but the fact is that I am human and thus imperfect, and my feelings are as valid as anyone elses.
I hope you find some peace within, and a good overnight babysitter!

[ZoshaMosha]

My kids are 4 and 2 and I feel like I am now getting a chunk of my life back just for myself. They are both in school (little one part time preschool/daycare).

My 4 year old is super into her friends and having sleepovers (already? Ha!). They are both content staying with one of our great sitters or grandma. Parenthood is still overwhelming at times, but it's a relief seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.

OP, you have a baby and it's really all-consuming right now, but it will get better. Your young and crazy days are not behind you! You're just taking a little break.

[mouso]

Originally Posted by tzs

staying at home doesn't help and not taking breaks doesn't help either. i fantasize about getting a hotel room for just one night by myself. trips to walgreens alone are like a vacation. i miss my old body even though it was far from perfect. but the weird thing is that at night when she's sleeping in her own room i miss her.

Yes, a trip to the store to food shop alone? FUN! Just zoning out is awesome.

I think it's normal. It's definitely hard with your first. I was very resentful that my life had changed so much. Even though we wanted a baby (although DD was a happy, just 6 or so months before we had planned, surprise) it was difficult. I am also a person who can never have enough alone time or read too many books, so losing all of that was a shock to the system.

DH didn't have as much of an adjustment and that was hard too. He could still go out, drink, smoke (we both smoked back then and I loved my cigarettes). It made it harder. Of course, now he's stuck with us at home and likes it. Haha.

Originally Posted by zannster

Yup, same here. For me though, I am far enough removed from the pre-child life that I just miss how it was pre-baby. My older child is five, and I was finally getting a bit of freedom - and then I had #2.

Me too. Just when we were getting past baby/toddlerhood here we went and did it again. DS is our last so I am looking forward to having two KIDS. It will feel like freedom!
I love babies but, man, they take up every second of my day and all of my thought processes (at least mine do since they even have to sleep on top of me).

[UrbanSimplicity]

oh yes, i can hardly listen to music anymore because it brings me back to the old days. not to mention, all my old tunes seem highly inappropriate for 2 and 4yos.

i did find that once my 1st dd was a year - and my body was back to it's normal self (at least it looked that way with clothes on!) i felt like 'me' again. and then at 2years i felt even *more* like the old me again. . . .time helps. i wouldn't change things for the world though.

[butterfly1976]

Yes, yes yes!! I've been divorced for about 10 years. I've dated on and off, not too much though. Then last year started dating this man seriously and still am. Sometimes I feel he's a little bit clingy. Like he thinks we always gotta be together unless we're working.

My father passed away two years ago. My mom has always been the type of person who's dependent on others. So I've had to take care of her a lot in these two years, until I just couldn't deal with it anymore. It's like I never got a break or something! GRRRRR.......

I sure do miss those times alone when the kids were skating, mom was with dad, and I was single. I could sit on the couch and read or surf online. Or just chill out for God's sakes! LOL

I completely understand. A lot of times I just miss me.......sounds corny.....but that's how I feel a lot of times.

[LCBMAX]

Originally Posted by tzs

dd was "planned" and i still feel that way. Actually, maybe i feel that way more that not. Hmmm.....
Staying at home doesn't help and not taking breaks doesn't help either. I fantasize about getting a hotel room for just one night by myself. Trips to walgreens alone are like a vacation. I miss my old body even though it was far from perfect. But the weird thing is that at night when she's sleeping in her own room i miss her.

exactly!