Telling my child we are going to homeschool

[jewelsJZ]

In a nutshell, hubby and I have decided this is the way to go next year. Our son just finished public kindergarden and is excited about first grade, mostly the parts about eating in the cafeteria and playing on the big kids playground, nothing having to do with learning. Kindy teachers made a big deal out of this stuff at the end of the year.
Anyway, a couple of mentions of homeschool being a possibility have been met with disinterest and "no" from my 6 year old.
Any suggestions about where to go next, what to say, how to present it to him? I want him to know this is what we are doing for next year, it will become increasingly obvious as I gather curriculum, go away to attend a hs conference, begin socializing more and more with a local hs group.
Anyone had a child who was not too thrilled with the hs'ing idea? Got upset? Mad? If so, how did you approach that.
Thanks in advance.

[yllek]

I just want to let you know that I am in the same boat. My 5yo attended kindergarten last year at a private school. My situation is a bit different in that this private school held classes just two days a week, while we homeschooled the other three. Anyway, my son wants to go to first grade there, mostly because his one of his best friends goes to that school. The kindergarten teacher also made a big deal about moving up to first grade during the last few weeks of school.

Anyway, I've been waiting to tell ds until this week, actually. We continued to hs (lightly) this summer; he has seen his buddies a ton; he is starting an amazing nature-based day camp this week; we leave for a Kauai vacation next week. I'm trying hard to let him know that his social life will still be filled with fun, even if we homeschool.

Beyond this, he is just going to have to adjust. I am anticipating tears and disappointment, but you know, those will be fleeting.

[mom2ponygirl]

My daughter went to a private Montessori for K and we began hs'ing when we left at the end of May and she was 5.5. We spent a lot of time going to hs group events and getting to know some new friends. We also made playdates with existing friends. Once we decided for certain to homeschool we talked with her about it and she was a little skeptical. For several weeks she would mention missing all the kids or a certain teacher's assistant she really liked. But that was the extent of her adapting. Within a couple of months, homeschooling was the best. We will be beginning our 7th year this fall.

[sahmoffour]

I'm in the same boat. I have a son who just finished 2nd and a daughter who just finished kindy at a public school. My son is excited to HS, my daughter....not so much. She's very social and was excited at the idea of going to school all day. I've flat out told her, that I've made the choice, and we are HSing next year. I've also told her that if everyone hates it, and everyone makes the choice to go back to PS together, then we can always do that. But for now I want her to try it and keep an open mind. My plan is to make it as fun as possible for her and sway her that way once we get going! Plus I plan on making the effort to find her new HS friends as well as making playdates with her best friend from PS so she sees that she can still hang out with other kids as that's her main worry right now.

I believe that while she may not want to, I'm the parent and I feel that it is the best choice for us, for now anyways. So I'm not leaving it up to her so much, but I do want to make it as enjoyable for her as possible so that it's the choice she makes for next year.

[jewelsJZ]

Originally Posted by mom2ponygirl

Within a couple of months, homeschooling was the best. We will be beginning our 7th year this fall.

Thank you for that. Gives me hope. And thanks to the other 2 mommas that replied. I think he will love it, just getting him used to the idea is what I am worrying about. Hoping to come up with a game plan with hubby in the next day or two.

[inky leeuhhh]

i'm sort of in the same boat with my dd, who will be going into first grade. i have been working the last 8 months, and she has been going to a wonderful home daycare in the am before dh gets there to pick her up when he's done with work. well, our care provider has been telling her about school, and doesn't get hs at all. thinks we are homeschooling her because we think she is not "ready for real school". meanwhile, academically she has advanced very well over the last year. next year i will be staying home with the girls, and we will have more time to make homeschooling something really special, but she is totally stuck on the idea of going to "real" school now. i am in the process of trying to connect with local homeschoolers, but i'm still working full time right now, and won't be able to put much energy into it until sep when i quit working. soon i plan to try and get some books about homeschooling children to see if that will help. i think right now she connects homeschooling with babies or younger kids, and she wants to be the big girl who goes to school. i'm also trying to play up the fact that i am going to school taking online classes at home, and hoping that has some sort of effect on her attitude.

[Momma Aimee]

when my BFF brought her first grade son home, she asked my nephew "was do you think home schooling would be like" (before she told him, make the change). then when the made the change she asked him "what are you most worried about" -- then she made every effort to see that THAT vas adressed (his happned to be playing on a real playgound each day at recess ..so they made a trip to the park after school a part of as many days as possibe).

[staceyshoe]

My ds was in ps kind last year. At the beginning of the year, I told him that he could continue ps or do hs for 1st grade. Well, halfway through the year, I decided that he was going to homeschool--no options. This was tricky since he really loved school, riding the bus, the playground equipment at recess, his friends, etc.

Before I announced that he was hsing no matter what, we started dabbling in homeschooling--an art project here, reading aloud there, fun science experiments, etc. He started to see how we could follow his interests and he could learn in a way that suited him instead always being dragged with the group at school. Although he still says he LOVED kindergarten, he decided on his own to homeschool.

Since he enjoyed the classroom experience so much, I signed him up for a co-op. It will include lunch and recess one day/week. It did take ds a while to warm up to the idea of homeschool, but he came around completely on his own. Sometimes they have to experience the benefits to see that there are opportunities in homeschooling that he would miss out on if he continued in ps. HTH!

[Gem0406]

Wow, so many of us in the same situation. We are returning to homeschooling next year after last year in public school with ds in gr K and dd in gr 4. He did not enjoy school overmuch, so I know that he will be happy with our choice to stay at home next year, but he is still a little proud of heading to first grade. There will be some regret for him, I am sure, in not going to that next level at school. My plan is to be gone on a short trip of some kind when the first day of school happens - something fun, so they won't feel left out with the excitement of the first day of school for the neighbors, cousins, friends, etc. If I can't make the trip happen, then I will plan an outing to the movies or to a bigger town an hour away to visit the science museum that day. Just something fun to show the benefits of not being tied down to school and to smooth over the "first day of school."

We homeschooled the year my daughter was in 3rd grade, and we really enjoyed the Oak Meadow book "Ben and Meg". It is a very gentle book that models a family's day to day life while homeschooling, and is meant for a first grade audience. After we have the big talk about staying home next year, we will start reading this book together, again.

Good luck, everyone, and I can't wait to hear how it all turns out!

Gem

[Lillian J]

You might want to look into the kind of conference that includes the whole family in fun ways - there's a huge difference between conferences, and there are some that could make it pretty appealing. There are scenes on this page from such a conference in California - there were children who were asking their parents if their family could move there! Homeschooling?! The Movie

This is also a good time to get to (or create) support group activities where there's a lot of fun going on - and to invite homeschoolers to your home for play, bar-b-que, potluck, whatever...but not at this point to gatherings that may be more formal or structured. This post has links to pages where you can find listings - there may be more than one local group, and one may be more fun - the NHEN site no longer exists, but the other two are great.

Keep in mind the usual need for some decompression/deschooling time once they're home - you want to make the idea of homeschooling be associated with fun and freedom, rather than with the idea of their mom suddenly seeming like a teacher. It can be especially tricky to get off to a smooth start with children who are reluctant to homeschool, so it's a very good investment of time rather than the waste of time it might seem like.

Here's a good page of information on books about homeschooling, and here's a page that tells about my own current favorite, What Really Matters.

Lillian

[yllek]

Just checking in with an update. I told my ds that we were hsing first grade. I had lots of anxiety about the conversation, but I was as upbeat as possible. I told him that we wanted him to have an education that was filled with cool projects, lots of field trips, plenty of personal time and time for new activities, and learning in ways that best suited him. He said that he wanted to go to that school. When I told him that it was going to be our homeschool, he was happy. Then he asked for more bread.

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by yllek

Just checking in with an update. I told my ds that we were hsing first grade. I had lots of anxiety about the conversation, but I was as upbeat as possible. I told him that we wanted him to have an education that was filled with cool projects, lots of field trips, plenty of personal time and time for new activities, and learning in ways that best suited him. He said that he wanted to go to that school. When I told him that it was going to be our homeschool, he was happy. Then he asked for more bread.

Wonderful! Congratulations! - Lillian

[kittie313]

Originally Posted by yllek

Just checking in with an update. I told my ds that we were hsing first grade. I had lots of anxiety about the conversation, but I was as upbeat as possible. I told him that we wanted him to have an education that was filled with cool projects, lots of field trips, plenty of personal time and time for new activities, and learning in ways that best suited him. He said that he wanted to go to that school. When I told him that it was going to be our homeschool, he was happy. Then he asked for more bread.

lol That's how my oldest reacted when we told her that she was going to be hs'ing last school year after finishing K here at our ps. But in our case, they shut down our elementary and the teachers spent the last few weeks of school telling their classes about their new schools they would be going to (the kids were split up to 3 diff. elem. schools in the district) and talking about how exciting it was going to be and how much fun they'd all have and on and on. Yikes, I was really nervous about having to tell her about hsing but honestly she was thrilled about it because she knew that I'd work with her instead of pushing her to just do that store and dump thing she did at ps. Then she asked for a cup of milk and some cookies LOL Aren't kids funny sometimes?