Infertility and makeing birth control decisions.

[gumby74]

DH and I finally have two children that were conceived via IUI and injectibles. I have been diagnosed with PCOS and am missing a gene that metabolizes folic acid. DH has a low sperm count and motility. We endured "at least" two MC's prior to conceiving DS1. Now that we have two children that I am incredibly thankful for, I think I am "done." DH wants to get the big "V," but I keep insisting not yet. I am eternally paranoid that something is going to happen and one or both of my boys is going to be taken away from me. Irrational, I know, but I guess dealing with infertility has left me feeling like nothing is "a sure thing." Anyway.....tomorrow I am scheduled to go in and have the Mirena IUD placed and I have mixed feelings. Even though DH has said to me that he wants to get the big "V" he also says he is nervous about me having this IUD placed because he is worried there will be scarring and the option to have another one will be taken away from us. Since I am breastfeeding, the pill is not an option and the mini-pill just made me bleed all the time. I should mention that I am 35 and will be 36 in November. I think I am just babling at this point, but was wondering if anyone has had these feelings?? Share some advice??

[rlandnl]

I am currently pregnant with baby number 2 who was a total miracle. DS was conceived after clomid failed, IUI failed and 2 failed IVFS (the 3rd was the charm). We were told that I had never and would never ovulate due to a severe case of PCOS (I didn't even ovulate with the HCG shots for IUI) and DH has low count and very poor morphology. But here we are a miracle. Anyway... he would like to be done. Me I am not so sure, I honestly don't want to take any form of birth control and see where nature leads us, I don't know honestly where he is on that, but he doesn't want me on hormonal BC any more than I want to be on it... it wreaks havoc with my system, but he too has mentioned the big V. I am totally against it. So that long winded back story to say I am right there with you... lol

[Jane]

With PCOS and not ovulating, you might want to be on a birth control in order to have better long term health and prevent uterine lining cancers. The mirena is a good choice for that.
I'm thinking of my mother - with really, really, really bad endometriosis. My father had a V when they were done having kids, but she'd have been much better served by staying on the pill and avoiding a metric @#* ton of pelvic and abdominal adhesions. Different than PCOS, but there is more to deciding on a V than whether you want more kids.
I do think birth control should match your desires. I have quite a few clients that conceived with IUI or IVF and get to have the 6 week post partum birth control talk. Only they can understand what their state of mind would be if they got pregnant at all or sooner than they wanted another child.
I was not supposed to conceive for 6 months after an ectopic pregnancy. After a month of celebacy, we didn't actually avoid pregnancy. Because we want a baby so much, we couldn't bring ourselves to use birth control. If we ever do have a baby, I don't know what we'll do afterwards...probably wing it?

[rlandnl]

Everyone has different experiences with Mirena but I HATED it. I gained 30 pounds in 6 months, I bled for 6 straight months, had the most horrendous cramps ever. I had constant headaches, and DH could "feel it" when we were intimate. I would never ever ever try it again. But as I said hormonal BC really whacks my system out. Even with BCPs I bleed the entire month I am on them unless I do them without a break, then after 3 months I stop bleeding, but my dr and my insurance company won't let me take them without a break long term. Not to mention my sex drive goes out the window. But everyone is different! One of my very best friends has a mirena and she LOVES it.

[lifeguard]

We're not there yet as we're still hoping to build our family (currently on cycle #3 of clomid for dc#2). I have pcos as well & don't o on my own.

But dh & I have had this conversation a few times. We have decided that when the time comes dh will get the big V as although I know the chances of us conceiving unassisted are very slim I also know that I will never fully relax - I have such unpredictable cycles that anytime I had a longer cycle I would think/hope/worry I was pregnant.

So what is more worrying to you? A potential, unlikely unplanned pregnancy or completely eliminating any further pregnancies (V's can be reversed, though not guaranteed).

[gumby74]

So.....I called and canceled the appt. for today. I just decided that since I am not completely in agreement with my decision, I needed to wait. In the meantime, I have an appt. for three weeks from now to sit down and talk with my OB about choices. For me, what it comes down to is that it took me so long to conceive these two that I am a little over protective of my fertility. Apricot: you brought up a good point about my overall health and this is something I want to explore in further detail. I'm hoping my OB can also give me information regarding the Mirena and how it might help. Thanks so much for your responses......

[lesliesara63]

We used condoms before and after both of our dd's. After going through secondary infertility it seemed ridiculous, but I wasn't ready for that elusive "miracle" pregnancy. We ditched condoms when dd2 was about 16 mths and I'm still infertile apparently. I don't ever plan on using any kind of bc again, but dh will probably want a vasectomy.