My son is 7 3/4 and my daughter is 4 1/2 and they like to test each others' boundaries. His theme is "I'm bigger/better/faster, so make way and move over" and her themes are "That's not so hot/anyone can do that" and "Mama's not looking, so I'll get you back." There are cycles of provocation, retaliation, grievance, and of course tattling and resentment of the tattling. It's all normal enough, but not very pleasant to be around, and when I'm not around sometimes things really do go too far, and above all I worry about the way their relationship will develop if it stays on this course. Some of the time they do play nicely and harmoniously or cooperate on a task, but other times they just push and push at each others' boundaries and at the same time seem to be pushing all these buttons just to get my attention. I'm not proud of it, but I often react to the squabbling by raising my voice at one or both of them. I've tried having talks with them together or separately when things are quiet, but this hasn't seemed to help.
I'm not sure how to untangle these threads or what sort of advice I really need, but I'd be grateful if someone could share their experience in how to cultivate harmonious relations among siblings.
p.s. To add a little more context, my husband is away a lot (weeks at a time) and we also have a 16-month old. Getting a sitter is not an option here. We live in a remote area and since I'm managing a country household, etc. I am constantly doing something and the kids may well feel shortchanged of quality one-on-one time. The idea of, for example, sitting down to make an art project with one of them or play a game with them sounds wonderful, but the baby comes crashing into anything we spread out, clamors to be picked up, throws things around, etc. They know this themselves all too well, and I just hope that in 2 years or so when she will no longer be doing this her sister and brother will not have given up on me.
I'm not sure how to untangle these threads or what sort of advice I really need, but I'd be grateful if someone could share their experience in how to cultivate harmonious relations among siblings.
p.s. To add a little more context, my husband is away a lot (weeks at a time) and we also have a 16-month old. Getting a sitter is not an option here. We live in a remote area and since I'm managing a country household, etc. I am constantly doing something and the kids may well feel shortchanged of quality one-on-one time. The idea of, for example, sitting down to make an art project with one of them or play a game with them sounds wonderful, but the baby comes crashing into anything we spread out, clamors to be picked up, throws things around, etc. They know this themselves all too well, and I just hope that in 2 years or so when she will no longer be doing this her sister and brother will not have given up on me.
