Anyone kinda/sorta/maybe trying to wean?

[hollytheteacher]

I know we have a nursing mamas thread, but was wondering if anyone else is going through or thinking about going through weaning. My ds will be 3 in August and i'm kind of lusting for a little break between nursing him and the new one. Also hoping that it will just end nicely and smoothly without any tears.

Right now he has been down to nursing only at bedtime and for the last two weeks i've had him skip a couple nights (fell asleep in the car, daddy put to bed, etc.)

On the other hand i don't want to rush him or make him feel upset/jealous/etc. over the whole thing. I know it's hard knowing a new baby will be coming and i can definitly see his little wheels turning. He's started saying a few things like "i wish i was a baby again" and then other times saying he's a "big boy" so who knows.

It definitly HURTS when he latches on and i'm not enjoying nursing as much as i used to. But then again, tonight he nursed to sleep so peacefully and sweetly....ugh it's such a hard decision. For now i'm sticking to distracting when possible, but I don't know how/if he will just stop asking for it before bed.

Anyone else?

[Mrs-Mama]

My DD is younger than your DS, but yes, I'm trying to wean as well. With a preterm delivery in my past, I don't want to take any chances. Tonight was the 3rd night in a row that I didn't nurse her before bed, so now we're down to just first thing in the morning (her favorite). It doesn't hurt when she nurses but it's just, I don't know how to explain it, irritating. I feel kinda bad, but she has adjusted amazingly well to going to bed without nursing so I am thankful for that.

[Mrs.Music]

I waited to wean my daughter from her nighttime nursing until the doctor and midwife told me that the contractions caused by nursing were kinda negating the bedrest. I was looking forward to a break too... But then gave birth. Anyway... I weaned M for surgery at about the time of conception for this baby. I'm happier to not be nursing. It was uncomfortable. Way too hot in the summer. I was cranky from being pregnant and uncomfortable. My milk supply dried up and made for a cranky needy toddler... If you're gonna do it. I recommend doing it soon and saving yourself some trouble.

[Mrs.Music]

Originally Posted by Mrs-Mama

It doesn't hurt when she nurses but it's just, I don't know how to explain it, irritating.

I dealt with that. The kids don't understand why you are cranky either. It was almost not fair to keep nursing.

[Ellenems]

My son just weaned a month ago on his third birthday. We had been talking about it several months ahead of time. He was down to nursing just once a day, at bedtime, but we talked about how when he turned 3 we would be done nursing. A couple weeks before his birthday I thought there was no way this was going to happen, as nursing was the only thing that helped him fall asleep, so I decided that I was willing to continue if it turned out to be too hard on him.

I nursed him to sleep on his birthday, and then the following night reminded him that we were done nursing now that he was 3. He was sad for a bit but let me cuddle him to sleep eventually. The next night he ended up falling asleep in the car and the rest of the week went pretty smoothly. He never asked to nurse after the first night, and I couldn't believe how easy it was! He has wonderful memories of nursing, talks about it fondly, and tells me how the milk will be for the new baby. It wasn't traumatic in the least. It definitely takes longer to get him to sleep now, but I couldn't be happier with how it happened.

Honestly, I would have been fine with nursing him longer since it was only once per day, but I was really wanting to detox before getting pregnant again. However, I ended up unexpectedly pregnant 1 week after he weaned!

So overall, I think what helped the most was discussing it well in advance, and then being willing to read, tell stories, cuddle, talk, sing, massage, etc. as long as he wants before falling asleep at night. I actually feel like we've bonded a lot more since he stopped nursing to sleep.

Good luck with your decision. I hope it goes smoothly for you.

[hollytheteacher]

Originally Posted by Ellenems

My son just weaned a month ago on his third birthday. We had been talking about it several months ahead of time. He was down to nursing just once a day, at bedtime, but we talked about how when he turned 3 we would be done nursing. A couple weeks before his birthday I thought there was no way this was going to happen, as nursing was the only thing that helped him fall asleep, so I decided that I was willing to continue if it turned out to be too hard on him.

I nursed him to sleep on his birthday, and then the following night reminded him that we were done nursing now that he was 3. He was sad for a bit but let me cuddle him to sleep eventually. The next night he ended up falling asleep in the car and the rest of the week went pretty smoothly. He never asked to nurse after the first night, and I couldn't believe how easy it was! He has wonderful memories of nursing, talks about it fondly, and tells me how the milk will be for the new baby. It wasn't traumatic in the least. It definitely takes longer to get him to sleep now, but I couldn't be happier with how it happened.

Honestly, I would have been fine with nursing him longer since it was only once per day, but I was really wanting to detox before getting pregnant again. However, I ended up unexpectedly pregnant 1 week after he weaned!

So overall, I think what helped the most was discussing it well in advance, and then being willing to read, tell stories, cuddle, talk, sing, massage, etc. as long as he wants before falling asleep at night. I actually feel like we've bonded a lot more since he stopped nursing to sleep.

Good luck with your decision. I hope it goes smoothly for you.

Thank you for this! Very uplifting!! It's funny because whenever I ask DS when he will be done with nursing he says when he's three. Maybe I should just try to continue til August. It's not THAT far away when you figure he's only nursing once a day anyway...

So maybe i'll start talking it up a little more. I think i'll suggest things like, mama can rock you to sleep (he likes that) and still lay with you and tell you stories, etc. and keep giving ideas of other fun ways I can comfort him before bed time. And then i'll still get SIX MONTHS of a nursing break wahoo! hehe.

[momma-molly]

I weaned DD about 2 months ago at 26 months. It was pretty mutual, but I kind of gently pushed her in that direction using distractions. We never had any tears and she went from 2x a day, to 1x a day to 3x a week to 1x a week in the months following her 2nd birthday. It was nice and gradual and I can't even remember when the last time was. She just never asked again.

And FWIW, I totally agree with Ellenems - I feel like we have a sweeter bond now that we stopped nursing. For those last few months, our down time was all about the boob. I was getting tired of it and resentful towards her (that spurred my gentle pushing into weaning) and despite my attempts to curb her behavior, she was a pretty agressive/wiggily nursling. Now at bedtime we get to curl up in bed and read a stack of books and she plays with my hair and snuggles up with me. Now instead of whining "I want nur-nurs!" it's "time to snuggle, mom!". It's sweet and I don't feel like either one of us misses nursing. Plus, my nipples are SO sore right now, I'm just glad we weaned when we did so I didn't have to cut her off or have her associate it with her the new baby.

[outerspacemama]

We are doing it slowly. My DS is 23 mos and I'd like a break before the baby and he seems to need it less. I was pregnant back in Jan and lost all milk supply then and I don't think it really ever came back, so it's really weaning the comfort factor. He nurses 0-2x/day depending on when I'm around (morning, nap & bedtime are the favored times). I've been trying to gently distract him or else I let him nurse for 30 sec and then say "the milks going to bed" which he seems to understand and never cries about. I've also had a couple nights where I was away and I think that has helped for him to bond with his dad. Good luck! I've been not really following a plan - just kind of following instincts. And if he really seems to want to nurse I let him...

[kikaaaso]

I"m not in a big rush yet..but I want him to wean at least a few months before I deliver. I most likely will have to have a c-section, so that means at least two nights away from him..and I don't want to cause any stress or make it harder for him to adjust to the new one when that happens. Anyone have a book they can suggest to gently ween? I would love to start with nightweening..he still nurses about 3 times at night.

[andisunshine]

My youngest just turned two a few weeks ago and he's been really good about needing less nursing at night, thank goodness! I hope he'll be done soon because it is bothering me a bit. His teeth seem so much sharper for some reason! I'd like a break and sooner or later my milk will dry up from pregnancy anyway so it's gonna happen. A few nights in a row I popped him off before he was fully asleep and we just snuggled, he seemed fine with that.

[finnegansmom]

the pain is getting really bad for me. i nurse at night only and have been having to stop him after 15-20 minutes because the pain is bad enough I feel like puking. he punched and slapped me last night, and tried to rip my nursegown open to nurse again...ugh.

i don't want to wean but it might be easier for him and me to not even offer instead of offering then having to take it away

[pollyanna123]

I've already done the nurse all the way through pregnancy and tandem nurse thing... I'm NOT doing it again. So yes, I'm planning weaning both of my kids (DD, age 4 and DS, age2) at some point in this pregnancy.

In my experience with my DD, there was a point when she would have been VERY easy to wean when I was pregnant with my DS. I think it was probably around the 5-month mark. I'm trying to cut back nursing right now, but I'm waiting for that "magic window" that I think will happen and I'm going to take advantage of it and wean both of them.

[chrfath]

I am planning night weaning very soon. DS is getting up 2-3 times a night then again at 5:30am so I have long days, since I usually don't fall back asleep. It is very painful for me and he complains that the "nackos" are empty. I have been trying lots of distractions during the day, but he is pretty persistent at 26mo. Sometimes I just have to cut him off as it is affecting our relationship.

I thought I might like the experience and tandem nursing, but now I don't think it is such a good idea for me.

Looking forward to reading others experiences. Thanks everyone who has shared so far.

[Monkey Toes]

I have times where I'd like to wean (luckily it's not always painful though), but my daughter is still fairly young (17 months) and loves nursing. She probably does nurse 5-10 times a day, depending on what we're doing and how she's feeling. I would be more interested in nightweaning because I feel like I'll have to before a new baby comes. She sometimes only nurses 2-3 times a night, but if for any reason she's not sleeping well she wakes up any time she loses her latch. It's a little bit exhausting, but I feel bad because it seems like she has such a great need. The nightweaning will eventually have to happen though, because while I think I'm up for tandem nursing that doesn't apply at night. Hopefully I'll hit that magic point. I'm hoping it'll happen naturally so I don't have to make a rift for her.

[finnegansmom]

Ugggg. I haven't nursed in 2 days, I just can't deal right now and I feel so guilty.
This is the 3rd pregnancy I've nursed through - 1st one I nursed until I was 7 months, and my mc i nursed the whole 13 weeks. I'm only 8w2d but I cannot deal...maybe because my son is older, almost 2, and my milk is pretty sparce but I've been snuggling him to sleep instead of nursing... i'm sad and guilty and tortured about it.
It just hurts so much and really is giving me the heebie jeebies...

[chrfath]

Originally Posted by finnegansmom

Ugggg. I haven't nursed in 2 days, I just can't deal right now and I feel so guilty.
This is the 3rd pregnancy I've nursed through - 1st one I nursed until I was 7 months, and my mc i nursed the whole 13 weeks. I'm only 8w2d but I cannot deal...maybe because my son is older, almost 2, and my milk is pretty sparce but I've been snuggling him to sleep instead of nursing... i'm sad and guilty and tortured about it.
It just hurts so much and really is giving me the heebie jeebies...

Hugs to you. Sounds like the transition is going well. You are respecting the relationship and doing what you need to do. My DS would be flipping out if I tried cutting him off cold turkey.

[spatulagirl]

I am not weaning as my DD is only 2. I just feel guilty. I feel guilty my milk is drying up and she is only 2 and loves to nurse. I don't want her to wean like this. I want her to wean when she is ready.

[dex_millie]

Originally Posted by hollytheteacher

I know we have a nursing mamas thread, but was wondering if anyone else is going through or thinking about going through weaning. My ds will be 3 in August and i'm kind of lusting for a little break between nursing him and the new one. Also hoping that it will just end nicely and smoothly without any tears.

Right now he has been down to nursing only at bedtime and for the last two weeks i've had him skip a couple nights (fell asleep in the car, daddy put to bed, etc.)

On the other hand i don't want to rush him or make him feel upset/jealous/etc. over the whole thing. I know it's hard knowing a new baby will be coming and i can definitly see his little wheels turning. He's started saying a few things like "i wish i was a baby again" and then other times saying he's a "big boy" so who knows.

It definitly HURTS when he latches on and i'm not enjoying nursing as much as i used to. But then again, tonight he nursed to sleep so peacefully and sweetly....ugh it's such a hard decision. For now i'm sticking to distracting when possible, but I don't know how/if he will just stop asking for it before bed.

Anyone else?

I really don't want to wean as DD is only 15months but I heard my milk will dry up..I plan on nursing her as long as there is milk. I am hoping we can at least make it to 20months. I do know that I don't want to tandem nurse.


My DS was 2years and 3 weeks when I weaned him and I was 4/5 months pregnant with DD. I did do the distractions until he just nursed at nights and then had daddy do the nights with him. There was a few times he would automatically try to nurse at night and we had to pick him up and rock him back to sleep. I think it is just knowing what you want. If you don't want to tandem nurse them it would be better to do it before the baby come.

I really don't think at that age with the little nursing it would be a rush or anything but it would be harder if you try to wean him after the baby is born.