6yr old Drowned at our Gym pool... - Page 3

[pigpokey]

There is only one person responsible for the child: his parents.

If you want to blame the pool, blame them for not kicking the kid out of the pool when his father didn't get in with him.

I would tell the mom.

Thank goodness you were there and took care of him when his father was not.

If you don't like the pool policies, then the gym should absolutely refund any feels you paid so you can join a different gym.

I have had PTSD. It sucks. You may benefit from not being in the building for a while.

I suspect you are going to find that this was the first time anything like this has happened and that they are going to be more careful in the future about checking ages.

I would NOT expect the gym to make a lot of admissions about how much better they are going to do, because unfortunately, though the person responsible in this event is the dad, they have reason to fear that dad will sue them and use anything they say as an admission that it really WAS their responsibility to keep this kid safe. And this is a private facility that explicitly, never assumed that responsibility.

[mamadelbosque]

Holy crap. I dont' even know where to start... other than to say thank you for saving his life! And I too would be calling media - your local paper, tv station, radio station, etc and telling them. Get it out there. And yeah, I'd be demanding a refund too and finding a different gym. Cause' they obviously don't really care about anything besides their own a$$ and whether they were liable or not. The fact that other employees don't even really know what happend? Insane. And honestly, given their respones, I'd bet its happend before and will *SURELY* happen again, if you and other people don't *MAKE* them change. Good luck!!

[Momma Moo Martin]

I know there have been a lot of replies to this thread already but I couldn't not say something to you. First of all, thank you for what you did. The universe works in beautiful, wonderful ways. I know you joining the gym and being there that day with your babies safe and secure in that moment was fate at its finest. If I were you, I would continue to call and show up at the gym until you get to speak with the manager. This is not acceptable at all and if the problems aren't addressed it could happen to another child. I would also cancel my membership and demand a full refund. I would certainly talk to the mother and the little boy for your own closure and maybe their closure as well. I am so sorry you had to go through this but so grateful that you were capable of what you did.

[DariusMom]

wow. i almost didn't read this because I have a seven year old and reading anything like this about kids (in general), especially kids around his age, always makes me cry.

I'm so glad there was a happy ending. You and the gym instructor and the others who helped (yea kids!) are amazing and should be so proud of yourselves. as for the dad ... . just don't know what to say . .. .

anyway, be gentle with yourself the next little while. what a terrifying experience. give yourself time to process it.

[mattemma04]

Thank God you were there and saved this boys life.The father is a....you know.

Consider contacting media to share what you posted here.In the least the letter to editor at papers to stress the need for parents to watch/be with their kids.A parent can not watch all kids. The gym needs to make changes.Increase fees to cover life guards and/or training of current staff.If the boy had died would they then make changes? Make them now to prevent future deaths.

Again,so wonderful that you saved that little guy.I think of my own 8yo boy,and pray if I am not there then someone like you is.That family is so lucky.And again the father....what is up with him? To busy on his Iphone???

[homebirthing]

I am not sure what made me click onto this post other than I have a six year old.

Thank you so much for being so brave in such a scary situation. You have saved a life, and there are no words to show what that means. Every breath that boy takes is a miracle. Thank you!


And I would contact the news. Immediately. They can get the tapes and show the incident with a follow up from the LIVING boy!!

[momtoS]

Wow. Thank goodness you happened to be at the pool. Sadly, three years ago (with several lifeguards on duty) a 7 year drown in my communities pool. He was supposed to be supervised by his assistant (he was autistic). They found him in the bottom of the deep end. It is a sad memory for me.

You saved this little boy. Could you talk to his mom and ask if you could see him? Prehaps that would get the image of his lifeless face out of your mind a bit?

There should definitely be lifeguards or very strict access policies for the pool. Keep calling.

HUGS TO YOU.

[LavenderMae]

I am so glad you were there and able to save that boy's life, thank you.
I don't know even know what else to say.... I am horrified by what you described and I am so incredibly moved by you...you are the only reason that child is still here.

[linchi]

I clicked on this link and pushed through reading it. First off I am so thankful for you and the people who were able to help the little boy. It goes to show that training in CPR and first aid is really, really important. Maybe this post will help inspire others to get trained / re-fresh - I know it has for me!

[mojobin]

Parents need to be in the water with their kids or kids need to be wearing life jackets at least until they have really learned water safety and how to save themselves by treading water and floating. Swim lessons are important, but they do not replace supervision.

I think you are probably experiencing some PTSD. Saving someone's life is no small matter. Perhaps a session with a therapist would help. You are a HERO! and so are the girls you were with.

[mumkimum]

Wow. for you and that kid.

If you're getting rude responses from the gym, trying to talk with someone about this - write a letter or send an email. If it's written down it will have to get dealt with (unlike the way phone calls can get brushed off) and it'll at least be in the right people's radar that there's been problems with their policy, and I'd hope they'd do something about that then (like at least put more emphasis on what proper supervision IS).

[velochic]

I agree with the pp's that say to contact the media. These are the kinds of stories that investigative TV reporters LOVE to uncover. They will demand the videos, they will expose the negligence, and probably even the flaky father would get some questions that might be necessary (I agree he sounds like he was high or something... um, if your child is lifeless and has voided themselves that's not the reaction an attentive caring parent has).

Unfortunately, as is usually the case, until this affects the gym FINANCIALLY, they aren't going to do anything. Training costs money and at this point, they think they've dodged a bullet because the kid is O.K. They will continue to try to sweep it under the rug.

When I read your story I was so scared that it would have a bad ending. You're an amazing person and that little boy was lucky that you and your friends were at the pool that day. I would be angry, too. If it were me, I would NOT let this incident just disappear. I would be the squeaky wheel until I got some answers and the gym had to face some accountability. Oh, and I'd demand my membership fees back tout de suite.

[ellairiesmom]

wow. WOW. i was reading & sitting here horrified. and then i started reading faster & my heart was pounding. thank god you few were able to react. as someone else said it-you breathed life back into that little boy. you are amazing.

i have had cpr on my "to do" list since having both babies. now i am really going to get it done. thank you.

it almost sounds like a little PTSD & i really think you should talk it out with a professional-maybe a session or 2. you want to be able to process it all & someone can help you with it.

i was hoping i would get to the end of the thread & find an update about talking to the mom this morning. if it were me, i would want to know all the details of the situation. what she does with it, is up to her. but she should know. and as stated before-maybe you can see him alive & well sometime soon which could help you.

as for the gym-def go to the press. get them to "break" the story. i know the gym has signs up & the parents are ultimately responsible for the "incident", but the gym's reaction after is all them.

hugs mama. you are amazing. thank you for sharing & for saving him.

[txbikegrrl]

I'm sorry for what you went through but glad you were able to help save s life. In terms of counseling, you might want to contact the Red Cross. They have trauma teams trained to help people who were in a fire, plane crash, hurricane, earthquake, etc. I'd think they have someone who deals with water related situations also. It should be free. It's not therapy but trauma debriefing. National Organization for Victims Assistsnce (NOVA) has resources too. Or at least find a therapist who deals with trauma.

[laohaire]

Thank you so much, we need more people like you.

I wish I could say your story had a happy ending but I still feel sick to my stomach.

I do agree with the PP who pointed out that the primary responsibility lays on the father. It's easy to go after the gym because they usually (and should) have policies and procedures and so on. That's not to say I don't think you should pursue the issue with them, I think you should, and I thank you for doing that as well.

If (when?) you talk to the mother, I think I'd try to get her to talk first. Ask her how Mikey is. Ask what Mikey said about it. Ask what she thought about the incident. Then when you've gotten a sense for how she sees the incident, tell her "actually, you said ____ but I think you would want to know what really happened." Maybe even "I think you'd want to know even if it's hard for you to hear."

[homebirthing]

Can I add that the very first thing that I would do after my son is better is meet the person that saved his life?

[caedmyn]

If it were me I would definitely be contacting the media as well...nothing like a little media attention to jump start some positive changes sometimes.

As PPs have said, it is perfectly normal for you to feel very shaken by this and continue to think about it. Take care of yourself (make sure you are getting enough sleep and rest and eating well) and talk to someone/several people who understand how you are feeling. It doesn't have to be a professional counselor unless you feel the need to talk to someone like that...talking to anyone who understands will help you process. This will probably be something you think about a lot for a long time, and as time goes on the amount that you think about it will decrease. It's normal for that to happen.

Please think twice before calling CPS about the father. You have seen him ONE time in a very stressful situation. He may have been in shock himself, he may have had no idea how to cope, maybe he felt he could best help by checking on his other child or searching for mom...you have no idea what was going on in his head. Sure it doesn't sound like we think a "normal" reaction would be, especially from a mom's standpoint, but calling CPS is not something to be taken lightly. The family has already been through a great deal of trauma and calling CPS and having them investigated for nothing more than the father acting oddly in a very stressful situation would only add to it. People seem to think they should just call CPS in any questionable situation as it can't hurt, and that is simply NOT true from the family's standpoint.

Talk to mom...she would probably like to hear from you what happened, and to have someone to talk to. You can mention dad's reaction...she might very well be able to explain exactly why he acted that way (if she chooses).

[laohaire]

Originally Posted by homebirthing

Can I add that the very first thing that I would do after my son is better is meet the person that saved his life?

If you knew his life was saved. Sounds like it's actually possible that she doesn't know this, due to all the coverups and blase attitudes.

[LauraLoo]

Originally Posted by laohaire

I do agree with the PP who pointed out that the primary responsibility lays on the father. It's easy to go after the gym because they usually (and should) have policies and procedures and so on. That's not to say I don't think you should pursue the issue with them, I think you should, and I thank you for doing that as well.

This. When we joined our gym, we signed a membership form. I'm wondering if this gym *clearly* outline the pool policies and safeguards - such as, "There is no life guard on duty and parents are responsible for their children." I don't think that not having a lifeguard is adequate and having psuedo deck guards with minimal rescue training is enough, so I wouldn't have likely joined this gym.

Also, remember that Mikey's mother works at this gym -- she may need her job and media coverage may make it difficult for her to return. Mikey's mom has an opportunity for recourse if she seeks it. She is in the best position to work through any changes that need to occur at this gym. If it were me, I would seek her out, find out how everything is going with Mikey and if she wants additional information. Frankly, I can't even imagine the conversations that are happening right now with Mikey's parents. Being under water for 7 min. is not a good thing. There may be permanent brain damage from lack of oxygen.

Typically, when an accident like this happens the police are brought in. At minimum, an accident report would have been filled out at the hospital. How much of an investigation they do depends on a lot of factors. A call to the police department as a witness may also be another way to help them.

[mlec]

Props to you! I have no doubt you're traumatized.

I would definitely talk to the mom about the situation and give her an exact play by play of what happened. She may not even be aware of what transpired since the gym is whitewashing and who knows what her dh told her.

I would also talk to the boy, too. He may NEED to talk to you to process his own trauma. Also the girls involved.

I would also go to the media re the gym's negligence and subsequent cover-up.

And you may be interested in a book on healing childhood trauma (or for the 10 y/o girl) called Trauma Through a Child's Eye's by Peter Levine.