That Money Thing

[SundayCrepes]

This is a vent that I'm sure almost everyone here can appreciate.

Short story is when we decided to have babies I was working full time as a RN so was making good money. We planned that I'd take 3 months maternity leave and go back to my job. Things worked out differently than planned. I am now a SAHM and loving it. We're planning on me homeschooling the kids. (They're 4.5 and 22 months.) I am so excited by this. Beyond the benefits to the kids, this is how I want to spend my several next years.

Only downside is money. Man are we living tight. We are also in our late 40s and all our friends are becoming empty nesters. They have more money than they've ever had.

I'm happy with our decision for me to be a homeschooling SAHM. I just wish money wasn't so tight. (I am grateful that we even have this option. A lot of people couldn't do this and I am gratefful that we can. Just bummed we do have as much money as if I were working.)

[2xy]

Well, if it makes you feel any better....we homeschool AND I'm working and we still don't have any money.

[Casha'sMommy]

Just thougth I'd jump in and commiserate.
My dh lost his job on Friday and we were just about to buy cubbies, boxes for a workbox system, and a new computer. EVERYTHING is on hold until he finds a new job. This, however, is not going to interfere with my plans to hs we just won't be buying the "fancy" stuff we had been planning. At least, not yet.
I'm just thankful this happened before we purchased everything! Can you imagine if he weren't let go until this Friday?!? yikes.
GL and s

[SundayCrepes]

Thanks for sharing. You've both reminded me why I should focus on being grateful for all we have.

2xy: What dedication. You must be exhausted trying to juggle everything. Then to hear me whine when we've got the luxury of me being a SAHM. I'm sorry for whining.

Casha'sMommy: I'm so sorry about his job loss. I can't imagine how difficult a time this must be for you. Good Luck

[AAK]

Everyone needs a good whine once in a while. It is hard to look at where other people are and not compare. We are really tight too--we made some poor financial decisions in the past and now are focusing on a good plan. It isn't as much fun as being recklace was, but I do feel better. That being said, I am going to accept a very part time job (8hr/wk) come fall. I am a librarian and a college uses som pt staff for the evenings/weekends. I am hoping that this small bit of extra money will help take the edge off. If it really that tight, have you thought of PT. I know an RN who actually works from home. It isn't exciting work--she review the files at her old office. But, she really wanted to be with her kids and this doesn't take much time.

Amy

[elizawill]

i totally sympathize and relate. i was a social worker in assisted living & worked full-time before my son was born. my salary contributed to half of our income at the time. learning to live without it has been an adjustment, and although we get by each month ...MAN! i wish we had more cash! lol. i'm sick to death of always having to pick & choose *which* activities or sports or field trips or outings or books or this or that or yada yada yada, we can actually afford. i have unlimited choices in my area, but very limited funds - so it can feel frustrating for sure. most people i know truly cannot grasp what it means to live on a very tight budget. they don't understand why i make our laundry detergent, meal plan every.little.thing, shop at thrift stores, and accept hand-me-downs. it's all worth it to our family though & in spite of the moments i wish we had more, i really do recognize that we lack for nothing.

[2xy]

Originally Posted by SundayCrepes

Thanks for sharing. You've both reminded me why I should focus on being grateful for all we have.

2xy: What dedication. You must be exhausted trying to juggle everything. Then to hear me whine when we've got the luxury of me being a SAHM. I'm sorry for whining.

No, I'm nowhere near being exhausted. I have a great husband and my kids are nearly grown up. I'm not chasing littles all day. My biggest battle is getting them out of bed.

I might be sort of exhausted come September, when my own schooling starts back up.

Everybody needs to whine sometimes.

[Roar]

The good news is that you are an RN so if you want it you ultimately will have more options for high paid part time work. I know homeschool moms who are nurses who pull just a few weekend shifts a month and bring in good money. It may not be what you want to do while your kids are so young, but you probably have the option if you want to as they get older.

[ikesmom]

I think your lucky because you can always return to RN when you want or need to work.

I was in school when I lost a baby at 18.5 weeks. I took a week off from school and work to take care of myself. My ds had an developmental evaluation and the results came in that same week as severely delayed in all areas. I was devastated and the therapists were asking how much time I spent talking and reading to ds. How much toilet training, time spent on teaching him to chew his food correctly..ect. I didn't spend any time with him because I was either at school or work and I felt soooo guilty.
I kept working evenings and devoted my days to taking him to appointments and therapy. I volunteered in his classes and tried to learn all I could.

I have always worked p/t as a hair stylist (except for the year after ds2 was born) so we could have some wiggle room with money. When the recession hit my comm. hit an all time low. I felt guilty trying to juggle the childcare while earning such a low income. We had 2 scares with ds2 with his nut allergy and babysitters. We had one babysitter that left him unsupervised outside and lost him for a half an hour in her neighborhood. We had some behavior issues with our older dd and other teens coming over when we were not home. I ended up leaving my job recently and the money is super tight..but somehow I feel like it is more important at this time.

You can always return to work when the time is right for you. Try to focus on the blessings of being home. Nobody can do what your do for your kids and there are things that would bother you if you were working too.

P.S A mom we know takes her kids to camp every year for free in exchange for being a nurse at the camp.

[SundayCrepes]

Thanks for the good words everyone. I actually do work--1.5 hours every other week. I work for a great home infusion company. Before our little one was born, I was taking call 2 nights a week. I was often home for dinner, sometimes for bedtime, and often I didn't work at all. Most of the time I was gone our son was sleeping. When the baby was born my husband just didn't feel like he could handle the two kids by himself so I stopped taking call. I just see my one ongoing client. Someday, when my husband is ready, I can start taking call again. Anytime I want, I can get more work. However, since we don't use childcare, that's just not an option right now.

[inky leeuhhh]

i've posted in other threads that we are about to be in the same position. doing well financially now (not living high on the hog by any means, but we have freedom), but i will quit working in the fall to be home with the girls, and it will be VERY tight. however, i feel like at this point in time, this is our best option. with the cost of child care right now, i would be working full time and bringing in 400$ per month, part of which would go to gas and other expenses related to work. working full time, taking care of the two little ones, and going to school like i have been is leaving me exhausted and drained. to me, it just isn't worth it. i just try and remember that this is only one of many periods in my life, and that we will have plenty of years to build wealth, but only a precious few with our little ones!

[sbgrace]

We're struggling financially mostly because of out of this world medical expenses though the loss of my income to stay at home was much more than half of our family income.

I often think homeschooling would be more fun (for me!) if I had a less limited budget. But I'm finding I can give a high quality education without much money. In fact, I'm now convinced that if I had to I could do it very well for almost nothing. I've found so many free or free for cost of printing high quality options. It makes me feel good to know that income levels don't have to affect educational opportunities (well, outside of extracurricular classes and such).

[Stacey B]

Mainly just listening from the view of having a 4 year old. But we're struggling here too. I wait tables weekend nights and am a barista three mornings a week, DH has one job 4 shifts a week and works as an acupuncturist 2-3 days as well. Still we manage to only have someone look after ds one morning a week. Have you read Radical Homemakers? It helped remind us why we're working so hard right now.

[SundayCrepes]

Originally Posted by Stacey B

Have you read Radical Homemakers? It helped remind us why we're working so hard right now.

Thanks for the suggestion. I just read the reviews on amazon and reserved it at our library. All their copies are checked out so I'll have to wait.

[greenmamapagan]

Originally Posted by SundayCrepes

Thanks for the suggestion. I just read the reviews on amazon and reserved it at our library. All their copies are checked out so I'll have to wait.

There is a review thread on the SAHM board if you're interested...

[Ravin]

SundayCrepes, it sounds to me like your DH needs to man up and learn to handle the kids. If I had a do-over of my first couple of years as a mom, it was that I never let DH do anything with DD. I've since chilled out and realized that attachment parenting doesn't mean I have to be the "on" parent 24/7/365. I work now, and will be going back to work after #2 is born, we really don't have a choice in the matter. But also fortunately, I'm not a single parent. DH does his share, and not just of the breadwinning. I do most of the schooling, but he'll be stepping up for some of that this year, as well.

[SundayCrepes]

Originally Posted by Ravin

SundayCrepes, it sounds to me like your DH needs to man up and learn to handle the kids. If I had a do-over of my first couple of years as a mom, it was that I never let DH do anything with DD. I've since chilled out and realized that attachment parenting doesn't mean I have to be the "on" parent 24/7/365. I work now, and will be going back to work after #2 is born, we really don't have a choice in the matter. But also fortunately, I'm not a single parent. DH does his share, and not just of the breadwinning. I do most of the schooling, but he'll be stepping up for some of that this year, as well.

Ummmm...I'm not sure how you got this out of my original post. I was whining about money. I feel so fortunate that we are able to live off of one income. I just didn't envision this when we were planning on babies. I'd thought I'd be working and our kids would be daycare kids. I am SOOOO happy they are not. That they are home with me and will be schooled by me. My husband does do lots with the kids and around the house. Everything from giving them their nightly baths to doing dishes. I'm perfectly happy not working. Frankly, I worked in my career for 24 years. I'm glad to be doing something more interesting and stimulating.

I just miss having extra money.