7 yr old desperate for some time with me

[mom2happy]

I have a 2 month old baby, a 5 yr old boy, and a 7 yr old girl.
My husband works late and my daughter is really missing the "girls nights we used to have before the baby came and my husbands schedule got so impossible.
She has been waiting to watch the movie Jumangi with me after reading the book a million times and my 5 yr old boy is terrified to see it. We watch very little tv here and he is afraid of many of the images in "kids movies".
My daughter is older and understands more and is ready for a movie besides Cinderella or something like that.
I dont want my son to feel excluded and the only idea I can come up with is this..
He falls asleep at about 8pm and is out like a light. I make them go to bed at the same time, but my daughter can never fall asleep till about 9:30.
SO- I was thinking of getting her out of her room when he falls asleep and letting her watch the movie with me while I nurse and and take care of the fuss babe. I want to make popcorn like we used to and try to make it fun for her.
The problem is that I feel so guilty and secretive to do this, but its the only way it will ever happen and shes been waiting for 3 months!
I can kind of justify it by knowing how much special time he and I have had every day for the past two years while she's been in school every day.
It definitely wouldnt be a secret, I just wouldnt announce it.
I will also be making special time with him during the week to do something he wants to do.
I just know that if its out in the open that she is staying up late to watch a movie while he has to go to bed, it will be too unfair and upsetting to him.
What would you moms do?

[ledzepplon]

I would definitely "sneak" her out of bed. What a treat that would be for you both!

[Alyantavid]

I would totally do that.

[greenemami]

I would do it-we just "snuck" dsd (9) out of the house with dp to go to a movie at the park by themselves since it was too late for dd (3) and not a movie I wanted her to see. They had a great time. I feel bad that dsd often is stuck doing little kid things, so I think it was fair that she got to do that-and there definitely would have been a big fuss if dd knew they were going.

[lnitti]

I would do it. But I also think it is ok not to sneak.

Kids can understand that different kids do different activities. I don't think kids should expect that everything one child does they all do. That just isn't how life works.

[LynnS6]

Maybe you can do it once as a 'surprise' once your son is asleep.

The rule in our house is that if you're in bed and haven't fallen asleep in 20 minutes (of being quiet and still), then you can get up for another 30 minutes and try again. For your dd, I would try this.

If she's never falling asleep before 9:30 then really, they need separate bedtimes. We're needing that with our kids, and it's hard to do, I know. Ds doesn't fall asleep before 10, and dd really needs to be asleep by 8:30. We haven't figured out a good system for separating the 2 bedtimes yet.

[MaerynPearl]

I agree that they probably need separate bedtimes anyway.

My kids are also 7 and 5... but my 7 year old needs an earlier bedtime than his 5 year old sister... its just how their bodies work and they understand and do not complain. They are not the same person... we treat them equally but not the same, you know?

[mom2happy]

Originally Posted by lnitti

I would do it. But I also think it is ok not to sneak.

Kids can understand that different kids do different activities. I don't think kids should expect that everything one child does they all do. That just isn't how life works.

I totally agree and thats why I would feel guilty.
I dont make everything even, and use life's experiences as lessons that things are not always fair. They are pretty good with that most of the time.
Its just that time with me is such a big deal (even though they are all with me all day). At the end of the day, even if my 5 yr old knew it was coming I think he would be so cranky by bedtime that he couldnt cope with knowing we were in the next room doing something like that.

[Teensy]

I read an article about a family with many kids who let each child have the date of their birthday each month be "their" day, where they got to pick the dinner menu, family activities, etc. I haven't done it to that degree, but I like the idea.

I did have a "day" for each of my children last summer where I had a sitter watch the other two (or they were at camp) while I a special day one-on-one with one child, doing things they wanted to do. They definitely want to repeat having "their day" this summer.

I am digressing from your question, but I agree, you should absolutely be able to watch a movie with your oldest that her younger brother isn't ready for without feeling guilty.