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Postpartum sex: how long after?

Poll Results: When did you first have sex postpartum?

This is a multiple choice poll
  • 35% (45)
    1 month or less
  • 32% (41)
    2 months
  • 12% (16)
    3 months
  • 4% (6)
    4 months
  • 1% (2)
    5 months
  • 1% (2)
    6 months
  • 0% (1)
    7 months
  • 0% (0)
    8 months
  • 1% (2)
    9 months
  • 1% (2)
    10 months
  • 0% (0)
    11 months
  • 0% (1)
    12-18 months
  • 0% (1)
    19-24 months
  • 1% (2)
    2+ years
  • 3% (5)
    Haven't done it yet!
126 Total Votes  
post #1 of 47
6/28/10 at 12:32pm
Thread Starter 
How long did it take you to feel like having sex again after having your baby (or babies)? Please vote in the poll! Dh will be interested to hear the results!
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post #2 of 47
6/28/10 at 1:08pm
After ds it was months, because I was separated from his dad and really just not that interested anyway.

With dd, it was 2 weeks, and that's what I voted in your poll...I would have been happy to wait a LOT longer, but I was already getting the pressure After that (it hurt a bit) we waited close to a week I think before doing it again, but by 5 or 6 weeks we were back to our usual frequency.
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post #3 of 47
6/28/10 at 1:25pm
The week before my PP visit, so 5-ish weeks? Despite an episiotomy, I healed really quickly and haven't had any discomfort.
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post #4 of 47
6/28/10 at 1:34pm
We haven't yet. Cecilia is 12 weeks old now. I healed very quickly from my episiotomy, but I have zero urge to have sex, and as well, Cecilia cosleeps snuggled in my arms and wakes up if she discovers she's not against someone after just a couple of minutes. She's a true snugglie baby. So until she can go for more than a couple of minutes not being held, I don't think we'll be having sex. I hope my desire comes back eventually too...
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post #5 of 47
6/28/10 at 1:36pm
I was more than ready at 2 wks pp with both my dds
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post #6 of 47
6/28/10 at 1:43pm
3 weeks after DS1, about 5 weeks after my girls. DS2 will be 2 weeks old tomorrow and I'm ready as soon as my PP bleeding (well, just spotting now) stops.
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post #7 of 47
6/28/10 at 1:43pm
We tried around 6 weeks, but it hurt too much, tried again around 8 weeks and it was ok. It took about 6 months before I enjoyed it again. I did not have an episiotomy, or any tearing at all... I also didn't have much of a desire until 6 months+.
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post #8 of 47
6/28/10 at 1:44pm
With DD1 I think we DTD at around 8-10 weeks post-partum and it was horrible for several months. Oddly I didn't tear at all, but had one spot that was sore for 2 years, and after 3 years I could still find the sore spot. I however had no desire to DTD until about a year and a half later just before I started getting my period again.

With DD2 I would be happy to DTD now (4 weeks pp) but would like to wait another few for fear of the pain!
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post #9 of 47
6/28/10 at 1:45pm
Moving to Birth and Beyond since this is a post-partum question and not specifically about parenting a baby.
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post #10 of 47
6/28/10 at 1:48pm
There is a difference between havign sex and feeling like having sex.

I had sex at about 2 months post partum because I thought it might be okay and well it had been a long time since we had experienced that level of intimacy...not pleasant.

It hasn't been pleasant since the baby came. There have been good moments, but nothing like it was.

I have to psyche myself up for it because I do know it's important to a healthy marriage, but do I feel super horny? Not really. I feel like I could skip the sex for a while. At least until DH can get a vasectomy and I can drop 25 pounds.

I'm touched out, sweaty, and tired and concentrating half my mind on listening for the baby...not a sexy combination.
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post #11 of 47
6/28/10 at 1:49pm
6 weeks, so in between the first two answers. I was kinda ready but still in pain 1 month pp.
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post #12 of 47
6/28/10 at 1:56pm
About 3 weeks? I've had four c-sections, and I can't recall exactly how many weeks each time, but I know we never waited the full 6 weeks
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post #13 of 47
6/28/10 at 1:56pm
We tried at 6 mos., but it was too painful. Finally had sex around 24 mos., but it was still painful. Finally felt like having sex at 2.5 yrs., but am having super short cycles (21 days) which has bleeding that lasts 10-13 days, so there's a really short window in which I feel like having sex at all.
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post #14 of 47
6/28/10 at 2:50pm
Thread Starter 
Hakeber: You're right there is a difference between feeling like having sex and having sex. I guess the "feeling" part is good for discussion, but in the poll I was really more interested in when you all actually did have sex. Dh thinks I'm some sort of anomaly because I'm totally not interested in sex and it's been almost 6 months with baby #2. I'm just exhausted from chasing around my very spirited 3.5 year old and touched out from the baby. When I have a free moment with no children hanging on me, sex is the last thing on my mind! I guess I need some support because I'm beginning to feel like a bad wife. And I really don't need another emotional drama component in my life right now. Two kids is enough! Sigh...
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post #15 of 47
6/28/10 at 2:53pm
We always wait the recommended time (and wait until all bleeding and spotting is over) and then ease into it over those first 3 months PP.
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post #16 of 47
6/28/10 at 2:59pm
A week with the last two. I waited two months with my first because I had significant tearing, and even after two months it was uncomfortable.
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post #17 of 47
6/28/10 at 3:27pm
Three weeks. It was a bad idea! Tore all my stitches open and still have residual issues. Oops!
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post #18 of 47
6/28/10 at 3:43pm
With my vaginal deliveries 2 weeks.

With my first c/section it was less then a week.. It was day 4 I believe.. same day I came home lol. I healed super fast. It wasn't unpleasant at all.
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post #19 of 47
6/28/10 at 3:59pm
I think it was right around the 3 month mark. If I would have felt healed I would have done it way sooner. I remember wanting to the night I delivered. It probably would have been sooner too if I could have had my mom or MIL watch the baby so we could have a glass of wine and not have to worry about the baby waking up. Nothing kills my sex drive more than worrying about a baby screaming in the middle and having to stop.
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post #20 of 47
6/28/10 at 5:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaimee View Post
Hakeber: You're right there is a difference between feeling like having sex and having sex. I guess the "feeling" part is good for discussion, but in the poll I was really more interested in when you all actually did have sex. Dh thinks I'm some sort of anomaly because I'm totally not interested in sex and it's been almost 6 months with baby #2. I'm just exhausted from chasing around my very spirited 3.5 year old and touched out from the baby. When I have a free moment with no children hanging on me, sex is the last thing on my mind! I guess I need some support because I'm beginning to feel like a bad wife. And I really don't need another emotional drama component in my life right now. Two kids is enough! Sigh...
If I could abstain for the next year and half without hurting DH's feelings and risking seriously damaging the intimacy between us, I probably would. You are so not alone. In the back of my mind I DO miss sex, but in the front of my mind is the baby, my sore nipples, my out of shape body, my five year old who I can't hear if we shut our door but who can hear everything if we don't, and all the other things on my mind at the moment, not the least of which is "for the love of god don't knock me up again!"

Kind of takes the romance out of it.

I am really looking forward to finding someone we can trust to leave dd with overnight, so I can have the space and time to get in the mood and stay in the mood.

In the meantime, I pretty just want DH to stay on his side of the bed.

It sucks for men, because they do not get it at all, but you are not alone. Your DH can e-mail my DH and they can comiserate.
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