I don't have to do everything?

[confustication]

I came to the realization that a lot of my unhappiness and frustration is a result of trying to be everything for everyone. I try to be a perfect parent (is there such a thing?) I try to be a perfect provider and employee- burning myself out in the process. I try to be the perfect daughter- staying in an area that my husband and I hate because my family is here, and we want to be close.

Finally, it all came to a head, my husband has decided to step in to be the primary income for our family, we are relocating to an area much more in keeping with our values in many ways (though we do have to give up my gigantic garden!) I will be the SAHP, and refocus on following the path I want to follow instead of continually chasing everyone else's expectations.

I'm sure it's going to be a bumpy road, but we really need to focus first on what is best for ourselves and our immediate family, and living where we are is culturally, emotionally, and financially strangling us. I'll deal with the 'good daughter' guilt, I am sure, but hopefully I can keep in mind our thought process in making these decisions.

[bluebirdiemama]

Good for you! I have come to the realization recently that I don't have to be perfect, and it's very liberating.

[confustication]

You know, it really is!

[sapientia]

I have had the same feeling that I had to be superhuman-always be helpful to others even if it was detrimental to my well being, you know? Recently I've really come to the realization that I don't have to be and it was amazingly liberating for me as well! Congrats on your realization!

[ZoshaMosha]

Your parents will pull through. Have they heard of this new-fangled Skype thing?

Congrats on doing your own thing!!

[Learning_Mum]

I have come to the realisation that my life does not need to be all about my kids and that it doesn't make me a crappy Mum. It is OK to do and have things for myself and to sometimes think of myself first rather than the kids.

[tinybutterfly]

Originally Posted by confustication

I came to the realization that a lot of my unhappiness and frustration is a result of trying to be everything for everyone. I try to be a perfect parent (is there such a thing?) I try to be a perfect provider and employee- burning myself out in the process. I try to be the perfect daughter- staying in an area that my husband and I hate because my family is here, and we want to be close.

Finally, it all came to a head, my husband has decided to step in to be the primary income for our family, we are relocating to an area much more in keeping with our values in many ways (though we do have to give up my gigantic garden!) I will be the SAHP, and refocus on following the path I want to follow instead of continually chasing everyone else's expectations.

I'm sure it's going to be a bumpy road, but we really need to focus first on what is best for ourselves and our immediate family, and living where we are is culturally, emotionally, and financially strangling us. I'll deal with the 'good daughter' guilt, I am sure, but hopefully I can keep in mind our thought process in making these decisions.

One of the best things I learned was how to say "No."

[*bejeweled*]

Awesome OP. I totally relate to your post. I've also quit people pleasing. It's not easy, but I had to do it for my emotional health.

My new motto is, "I don't have to do sh*t."
My new favorite word is "No."

It is so liberating.