July Dating Thread- Let the fireworks begin! - Page 3

[Purple*Lotus]

Originally Posted by Rosehip

Welcome Bunnyflakes!

As a way to start dating, I might actually suggest the internet route. The idea terrified me, but I just bit the bullet and went out on dates. After a while, I got a lot more comfortable. I met one great guy, who unfortunately ended up moving for a great job offer not long after we met. Most of the other guys haven't particularly interested me, but I've had a few nice dates. I'm no longer terrified, and now much more comfortable speaking with potential beaus who I meet in person too. Depending on your social circle, work, etc., meeting people in person can be tough, so I would definitely give okcupid (this one is free) or match a whirl.

I think that is a good idea. I might try that once my divorce is final. That should be in late September, early October. I find that it is really hard for me to talk to the men that I meet in my daily activities. Hopefully online will be easier for me.

[Holland73]

Originally Posted by SamiPolizzi

Um... would it be terrible if I sent that exact paragraph to him?

Nah, not terrible. I hope it works well for you!

[danaalex]

hi. i posted here once in may. but i don't really have much to report, as i'm not really "dating."
however, i did want to say i read the book, mars and venus on a date. i read it before i really start dating so that i could be prepared better. i haven't dated since i was 19. and that was a crazy long time ago.
so, i want to make sure i'm as educated as i can be, lol.

i am glad i read it for one reason so far. basically, it explains that men show much interest in the beginning. then the second stage is uncertainty. basically, this is where men freak out and pull away. they do it. it's a part of their make up. so, if you can ride it out and still find them attractive and worth your time things will often become exclusive after getting back together. the book says that it could be 2 days, 2 weeks or 2 months. guys just freak about getting too close too fast and they need to pull away.

so, there's a strong chance that this has happened to some of you. i know i went out to dinner with someone about a month ago. we had a great time and got together again the next day just to hang out and watch movies. after that he pulled back. way back. basically 2 weeks or so without any communication. i would IM him or text him a "Hi", like once every 4-5 days, and he'd write one line back and that was it. if i hadn't read that book i would've been so beyond frustrated i would've made sure i told him so. but, basically i just sat back and waited. i would say HI, but no questions about us, or getting together again. nothing like that.

so, a month later we have plans for dinner again. :-) no matter what, i'm following this guys suggestions. the worst that happens is that i find myself NOT dating, which is totally fine because i'm doing pretty well on my own so far.

so, that's my current situation :-) 1 dinner date, one afternoon hanging out watching movies, and now plans for another dinner.

[Devaya]

danaalex, that's really interesting. I think that has definitely happened in my situations...but there was no scope for 'waiting' in the last one as he just ended it, full stop. I've heard of this book before and read bits of it, but my fellow feminist friend a few years ago said it's dangerous to read that kind of stuff b/c it reinforces stereotypes, so I stayed away. I'm of the opinion though that you can take what works for you from a book and ignore the rest, so I might well take another look! Glad it's working for you.

I have a date with a guy I met online, next week, and am talking to three other guys online It's fun if nothing else. The guy I'm meeting lives in a city an hour away and wasn't prepared to come down here, saying he's too busy (he has two jobs), which makes me think...will he have time to meet at all if we were to hit it off? And is there any point? But as he's also a yoga teacher (like me), sounds interesting, and looks good looking I thought why not, I've got friends to visit in that city anyway... or so I tell myself!

[Butterflymom]

I've got *such* butterflies about a new guy I've found who lives very close to my new home where I'm moving, seems perfect in every way, and....there has just got to be a catch! Dating site online turned him up; I messaged him, thought he wouldn't reply because he's too gorgeous. He did and now we write long emails via facebook every day (ok more often) I hinted @ phone calling but he didn't bite. But we set up a date for 12 days from now(but who's counting??). I am so nervous because he checks alllll my boxes & then some.

Another hottie is sweating me terribly, texting constantly, coming on way too strong, and he's only 2 months divorced, still cohabitating w/ her and their 3 small kids.
Um, no thanks. He swears up and down he's ready for a relationship and he says I'm the only woman he's interested in and asks me who else I'm talking to or considering meeting. Needy!!!

[attachedmomto3]

Im jumpin in! I have a date Fri!! I'll call him Mr. Foreman....he messages me on POF...at first he was kinda pushy to meet and i put him off for a while bc it kinda turned me off, i was like lets try to get to know each other a bit first and maybe even a phone call first?? and then we started txting more and finally talked on the phone and i decided what the hell lets meet, so fri for drinks it is!

[Butterflymom]

Attachedmom - wanting to meet live sooner rather than later, when you think you've found a viable contender, is also my MO w/ online dating.
Fingers crossed!!

My dreamy butterflies guy and i met. It was such an awesome date! Wow.

Went on another date w/ a new guy shortly after, and he & I just kind of began an intense crush thing right away. It feels good, it feels nice. But he's a lot like VGB in a lot of ways. Insecure, lost, Peter pan, never took any real responsibilities, hasn't finished his masters after 10 years studying..... serial monogamist (but recently, single for 1-2 years). The chemistry is great and we are really infatuated w/ one another but this feels like a twenty-something relationship (he's 31, FYI, just a bit older), and I want something all grown up.

Butterflies guy is all grown up, really mature & grounded, MBA, but also in a rock band ( guitar), so not too "dry." but I don't know if that relationship is going anywhere since it's so new, and w/ guy#2, I know where I stand and he's crazy for me.

Hmmmm.