To nap, or not to nap...

[zebaby]

DS (3.5 y.o.) typically needs a nap around 12:00 noon. He will usually nap for 1.5-2.5 hours. He'll fight the nap unless he gets a lot of activity in the morning. When he misses a nap, he completely loses it by 4 p.m. (too early for bed, too late for a nap). Lately, when we do get him down for a nap anywhere between 12 & 2, his bedtime has been as late as 9:15. Typically, he had been sleeping by 8:00 at the latest (ideally 7:30).

Are these the early signs of him starting to give up his nap? I hesitate to give it up altogether because he is such a mess in the afternoon when he misses his nap. Should I start by having him nap every other day? I'm big on consistent bedtimes because I see that it makes a positive difference with DS. I prefer not to push his bedtime to 9:00. I do notice that when he does miss his nap, he'll make up for it at night and sleep the full 12 hours.

Just to clarify: nap= nap at 1:30-3:30, sleep at 9:00 p.m., wake at 7:00 a.m.
no nap= sleep at 7:00 p.m., wake at 7:00 a.m. (give or take 1 hr on any of the above times)

Any words of wisdom would be very welcome!
Thanks

[Jenine]

No words of wisdom, just commiseration! We're asking the same question here at our house, I'm still reluctant to eliminate his nap though. Our schedule used to be nap at 12:30-1 for 1.5 hours and bedtime at 7:30-8 but for the last few months naptime has been at 1:30-2 and bedtime, well, he falls asleep by 9:15. We were having major struggles at bedtime because DS wouldn't go to sleep but then we realized that he wasn't physically ready to sleep until later. I finally clued in when I realized I was leaving his room at exactly 9:15 every night.

I've pretty much decided to follow DS's lead. It's an inconvenient schedule for me because I no longer have much of an evening to myself, but I don't think I'm up for the crazy dinner and bedtimes on the no nap days!

I hope someone else can offer some wisdom!

[Boot]

Have you tried waking him up from his nap after 1/2 hour or so?

I'm having similar problems. On the days he naps he won't sleep until 8. On no nap days it's more like 6.30. No consistency. For me, I like having the break in the day and am willing to pay the price of a late bedtime. Especially since he is more pleasant to be around after a nap.

I think this sort of thing is par for the course when they start to give up naps and we just have to weather it. Sigh.

[bdoody11]

It sounds like my DD last fall. However, when she napped (at any time) she was up until 10 or 11 pm and it took me an hour of nursing to get her down. I was pregnant, exhausted and I just couldn't do it anymore. I decided to cut out her nap. It was a hard decision, but I was done.

She doesn't melt down, but she is definitely tired in the afternoon. I try to get her to rest in the afternoon and a quick nurse definitely helps pick her up. Now she goes to bed around 7 or 8 pm and takes 5 to 10 minutes to go to sleep. It is a godsend with a new baby in the house.

I wish I could still let her nap, but it just doesn't make sense for her or our family.

[jillmamma]

Have you considered doing "quiet time" instead of nap time? We switched to that at about that age for my kiddos, where they watch a movie or read books or something by themselves for a bit to give mom a break and let them rest a bit.

[Drummer's Wife]

I like the idea of quiet time, and if he is really tired maybe he'll fall asleep?

Otherwise, I'm not sure. All four of my kids stop napping around their 2nd birthday. They were tired and cranky for awhile late afternoon (heh, even now as they are getting older they get the dinnertime crazies most evenings ), but as time went on they were okay until they went to sleep at night.

[zebaby]

Originally Posted by jillmamma

Have you considered doing "quiet time" instead of nap time? We switched to that at about that age for my kiddos, where they watch a movie or read books or something by themselves for a bit to give mom a break and let them rest a bit.

I've heard of people doing that, but I'm scared at the possible conflicts. What do you tell your kid to get him to be quiet for an hour? Wouldn't the child just say they don't want to sit and be quiet? What happens if I leave him for his quiet time and 5 minutes later he's up making a ruckus? I guess I like the idea of 'quiet time' but have no idea how to make it happen!

I have tried moving any TV time to his usual nap time. It seems to work pretty well. My friend thinks maybe TV time is not the best for winding down / "relaxing" since TV tends to do the opposite. She recommends playing books on CD or that I sit with him and read. Frankly, I'm torn.

[ecoteat]

We're in that shift too. DD clearly doesn't need as many total hours of sleep a day, but she also clearly can't make it until evening without her nap. Luckily she understands that she needs her nap and doesn't resist at all--unless we wait too long and she's falling apart. She's 4 and wakes up around 7, naps around 2 or 3 for 2-3 hours, and is asleep by 9:30 at night. Even though waking up in the morning and napping hasn't changed, bedtime has gradually gotten later. We generally really like this schedule, so I'm content to let it continue as long as dd is comfortable with it.

[hakeber]

What time do you all wake up in the morning?

Ds dropped his nap at about 2.5, so I believe it is likely he is moving away from midday sleeping.

I would try waking him up after 90 minutes of his nap in the afternoon tomorrow, and then putting him to bed an hour earlier. Then the next day a 45 minute nap, and to bed an hour earlier. Then on the third day perhaps no nap but to bed 3 hours earlier.

By the time DS gave up his naps he was going to bed at 7 pm, but our wake up time was 9am. So if you have to get up at 6 am (bless your cotton socks, you poor soul!) I would say 6pm should be the latest bedtime for him. My kid would have had to go to bed at 4pm to have had a satiating night's sleep....too weird to even think about!

[EMsMom06]

Originally Posted by jillmamma

Have you considered doing "quiet time" instead of nap time? We switched to that at about that age for my kiddos, where they watch a movie or read books or something by themselves for a bit to give mom a break and let them rest a bit.

I think this is a good alternative. My daughter stopped napping a short time after turning 2 so I really have no other advice.