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moms of many: lets talk groceries other things

post #1 of 35
Thread Starter 
I am a mom of 5. DH has a pretty decent job (he brings in about $60,000 a year), and I am a SAHM. We are really struggling to stay on top of finances though, it seems that we just aren't bringing in enough to cover our bills much less buy food and gas. I am really struggling to provide healthy, foods without killing our budget. I was hoping you all could share your tips on how you stretch your food budget for your family.

I am also wonderring what other MoM do to afford things like sports and dance lessons for your kids. Do you even do those types of things, or do you just forgo them to save money? It makes me feel terrible that my kids can't participate in these things due to lack of money.

I'd love to hear any and all tips about how you make it work, because we are really struggling. Thanks!
post #2 of 35
How old are your kids?

We did not do lessons/sports for the longest time. We tried to find free opportunities for them and/or teach them ourselves. We saved up for participation in one sport once a year once they were 6 or so.

Grains and legumes are inexpensive and delicious. Lentils are yummy and can be eaten alone, with a whole grain, made into a paste/dip, or soup. We also enjoy black beans and brown rice. We love to use tofu for dips and in salads.

What type of fruit and veggies does your family like?

ETA: If you are not covering your bills, can you reevaluate all your bills and see what you can reduce/remove? Are you eligible for food stamps/WIC?
post #3 of 35
I was going to ask ages as well.
post #4 of 35
What part of the country are you in. I have two kids and one on the way, DH and I (I work part time) together still only pull in about $30k or so. At $60k, we would be sitting pretty. So I am wondering if you are either living in a high cost of living area, with high rent, cost of groceries etc, or just haven't been budgeting well.

We do sports and such for my oldest, I have always felt it was important and good for her, so we make it a priority. She's 14, and getting ready to try out for high school soccer. I think it's going to be great for her, and I think having been a part of team activities as she was littler helps her in the try out process. The second one is only 19 months, so she's not in anything yet.

I keep our grocery bill down using coupons, strategic shopping and cooking from scratch. I have a bread machine, so we make a lot of bread from scratch, but learning when it's cheaper to buy vs make is part of strategic shopping. Saturday, I paid $6.24 and got 2 packages of feminene producs for the teen, 2 gallons of milk, 2 tubes of toothpaste and a bottle of tylenol at CVS. Combing sales with coupons really helps-you can use a buy one get one free coupon with a buy one get one free sale, and you don't pay for either item! Had I just bought the feminine products, I wouldn't have paid a dime because they were buy one get one and I had a buy one get one coupon. I have a few more coupons for it, so I will pick up a few more...because they store and don't expire. That's another thing with it-stuff that doesn't expire, you stock up on within the room you have and then when you need it, you already have it that you paid pennies or less for, rather than paying full price when you run out.

For fresh fruits and veggies, that's tough, there just aren't a lot of coupons for that. But, if buy and freeze, then you have it for later when it you need it and it's not on sale. I also garden for that stuff, and freezer/can a lot of my garden harvest.
post #5 of 35
Thread Starter 
My kids are 12, 10, 7, 5, and 2. We live in a colege town in north central florida. I would say that the cost of living here is pretty squarely in the median range. Part of the problem we have is that we found ourselves in a really bad situation due to overdrafts a few months ago and we are still trying to digout of that. Plus, dh is now starting to pay back his student loans. will reply more later...
post #6 of 35
My kids are 3, 5, 7, and 9 and we spend over $1K a month on food. I buy a lot of fresh produce, and as much organics as I can/are available here. I've tried different ways (coupons, sales, various stores - which means driving into another city, cooking completely from scratch, adding in some processed/packaged stuff, etc.,) and it still seems like we spend a lot on food. We eat a lot of meat, though, like 9 nights out of 10 - so I know if we cut that down we could save a bit.

What kind of activities do they want to do? Are there options at their schools? Community center? or can you barter for something? Many places have scholarships of some type - not sure if at 60K and a family of 7 you would qualify, but it's worth looking into.
post #7 of 35
We get produce at the Farmer's Market, and I always ask how much if I buy a larger quantity. I get fruit pretty cheap that way, we go through a lot of it.

There is a restaurant supply store here called Cash and Carry, they sell bulk foods at good prices, some organic. I buy from a natural foods coop group as well. We eat out maybe once a month, carry snacks and pack picnics a lot.

We used to do organized sports and dance class, etc, but cut way back on that several years ago for economic and family time reasons. We have never regretted it.
post #8 of 35
We don't sign our kids up for anything that costs more than $25 unless we know we have a commitment from them to follow through. So, our six-year-old does Sunday School League Basketball ($10 for fall/winter) and not AYSO soccer, which costs significantly more.

As far as groceries, my budget is $100 a week. There are 6 of us (me, DH, and my kids' ages are in my signature). With twins on the way, I am thinking that might need to go up. My grocery budget doesn't include any household stuff. I budget another $40 every two weeks for that.

Anyway, we're lucky enough to have two Amish-run surplus grocery outlets that get a lot of organics and have an awesome bulk section. For meats, I grab stuff that's marked down at the grocery store and freeze it right away in our chest freezer. For veggies and dairy, we have an Amish produce stand and Amish dairy close by. We also do a lot of u-pick and freezing. We make a lot of homecooked things from scratch. We just work it into our day. I do scan the coupon blogs and if there's a really good deal (like, getting something for free) I'll go to the regular grocery store and buy it.

One thing that really helps is having cookbooks that help you plan budget meals. I really like the LLL cookbook, Whole Foods for the Whole Family, and Family Feasts for Under $75 a Week. They both recognize the importance of healthy food.
post #9 of 35
Thought of something else

We drink water or make sun tea. My kids don't drink milk at all, and that probably helps. We don't buy a lot of snacks, but will make cookies or have fruit or veggies and dip, things like that.
post #10 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
Thought of something else

We drink water or make sun tea. My kids don't drink milk at all, and that probably helps. We don't buy a lot of snacks, but will make cookies or have fruit or veggies and dip, things like that.
This is BIG I think. I push a lot of water. And snacks are left overs, popcorn, muffins that we whip up, or fruit/veggies.
post #11 of 35
I have 4 kids, and they're similar ages to your children.

COL is such a tricky thing. I know we'd have to cut out quite a few extracurriculars if our household income was $60K, so there's no judgement from me on that issue. My kids all participate in extracurriculars, and it does get expensive. When my kids were younger it was fairly easy to find cheap activities for them to participate in. But now that they're older and are advancing in their abilities, classes are more expensive. I'm spending $300-400/month for extracurriculars right now. This amount will probably increase in the fall.

As for groceries, meal planning is essential for me to keep expenses down. When I faithfully meal plan, I can make it on $500/month with no problems. When I slack off on meal planning and let myself run to the store every couple of days for last minute dinners (often processed food), I can easily spend $700-800/month. Eating whole foods also helps to keep expenses down. Breakfast is fruit, toast, oatmeal, or leftovers. Snacks are fruit, veggies, air popped popcorn, cheese, nuts, or quesadillas. I buy meat in bulk directly from the farmer, which helps to keep prices down.
post #12 of 35
I hear you. I struggle to find a balance between doing things with the kids (we homeschool) and pouring myself into work and meal-planning and things like that.

As far as activities go, the basic trend has been that they can take a class/activity when they are around 10-11, and only one class that costs money. For DS1 this is a music class, for DS2 this is a circus class. We ask for as much financial aid as we qualify for and we reciprocate by volunteering or being generally helpful. I wait until that age because I want to be sure they are really committed, self-motivated, and going to get our money's worth out of whatever they are doing. Until that age we do a lot of playdates and homemade fun.

My three older kids play instruments, but they do not have regular/weekly lessons - I do a lot of teaching/helping and use their teachers as resources on an as-needed basis to keep costs down. Helps that I'm musical, though I don't have prior experience with their instruments. We found a creative way to make it affordable.

We also participate in free stuff like homeschool soccer and our homeschool day - not technically free but nearly so ($5/day for the whole family). We value family time and homegrown fun significantly.

Some people barter or trade - one mom teaches dance, the other teaches cooking, or whatever.

As for groceries, we also drink mostly water (homemade lemonade sometimes - cheaper than OJ for vit C - and tea sometimes in the winter). My kids would say that we don't eat a lot of "exciting" food, but we have variety and the options are healthy and relatively cheap.

Figure out where you are comfortable cutting corners, and also figure out what areas are high priority for spending (and let yourself honor that if you can afford to - cut in other areas and focus on the few things you value most).

It helped me to adjust my family's expectations over time, so that the "exciting" food and things are rare and treasured, and not everyday. On birthdays we splurge on a meal that the birthday person chooses, complete with drink and dessert (we normally don't do desserts). So 6x/year we indulge in a fancy meal...the kids usually pick things like steak, pulled pork, shrimp, salmon; not our usual fare.

I would love to find a cookbook called "1001 exciting ways to cook beans and lentils for extremely picky eaters with food sensitivities." Anyone know of one? (just kidding). Beans and lentils and rice stretch things out well, as does gardening and freebies like applesauce made from wild trees.

Also having a good system to reduce waste helps. Leftovers for breakfast/snack/lunch, etc, or repurposed for the next night's meal (stirfry becomes soup, etc.)

I don't know if that helps, but sometimes it's good to know you're not alone.

Oh, I have four ages 6, 7, 10, 11, and a DH who works from home.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Summertime Mommy View Post
I am a mom of 5. DH has a pretty decent job (he brings in about $60,000 a year), and I am a SAHM. We are really struggling to stay on top of finances though, it seems that we just aren't bringing in enough to cover our bills much less buy food and gas. I am really struggling to provide healthy, foods without killing our budget. I was hoping you all could share your tips on how you stretch your food budget for your family.

I am also wonderring what other MoM do to afford things like sports and dance lessons for your kids. Do you even do those types of things, or do you just forgo them to save money? It makes me feel terrible that my kids can't participate in these things due to lack of money.

I'd love to hear any and all tips about how you make it work, because we are really struggling. Thanks!
post #13 of 35
We stopped the extra classes this year because we wanted to save our money to go on vacation instead. We've been doing a LOT of free stuff at the local libraries. Arts and crafts and readings. The zoo is free on Wednesday and I pack us a lunch with snacks so we don't have to pay the high costs in the food courts. I call the companies that make products I like and get on their mailing list and download coupons. We also eat a lot of pasta. I happen to love it and it's cheap. We go to the Farmers Market as well for savings. They always have green zucchini and yellow squash for really low prices. I'm still trying to find DD a free dance class but until then we dance in our living room. It's free and fun. LOL
post #14 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by AngelBee View Post
This is BIG I think. I push a lot of water. And snacks are left overs, popcorn, muffins that we whip up, or fruit/veggies.
This is what we do, as well. We make less than you guys but live in a low COL area. Food is pricey, though, and we have student loans to pay off and some consumer debt that is almost gone (besides the mortgage). So that trims the budget a lot. You can get income contingent repayment on the student loans, btw, if you haven't already.

I really wish we could cut our food/household crap budget. It's outrageous. We've started growing a lot of our food but a lot of plants have died or will not be ready until late summer. Farmers markets would be a good bet for fresh stuff, buy in bulk, plan ahead, and find cheaper alternatives for things. We scrounge for lunches and eat leftovers and very rarely make something like bubble bread or soup and bread for lunch if there are no leftovers or pb&J fixings.

As for classes-right now my oldest is in violin and that's $10 a week, the other kids are going to start more classes soon like piano ($60/month each is the cheapest here) and karate ($55 for two kids per month) and tumbling ($25/e per month). It adds up quickly, but it's worth it to give them something to do. Around here there's really nothing to do outside of these things-very rare library events (couple times a year), no community activities, no zoos or museums or anything of the sort.
post #15 of 35
Our kids are 9, 6, 4, and almost 3 (plus dh and I). We end up spending an average of $175 a week on groceries.

A lot of activities we do happen through the YMCA. We get free swimming lessons for all the kids with our Y membership. They also have a lot of inexpensive classes that we've taken advantage of (sports, arts, etc).
post #16 of 35
I was coming here to post a similar thread My kiddos are 15, 11, 10 and 6. My dh pulls in 60K a year too. However, our rent is $2500 a month (we live in So. Cal. and it's expensive!)
We have lots of medical expenses too (two of our kiddos are special needs and the extra therapy, co pays, etc really adds up).

We are in HUGE debt right now. We have mass amounts of medical debt that has snowballed and I have no idea how to even begin fixing our credit because it's totally destroyed.

DH gives me $200 a week for groceries and household stuff. To be honest, I can never make that work. I always wind up spending more (upwards of $100 more a week). I don't buy organic very often. I try to use coupons if at all possible and I hit the clearance racks for pretty much all of our clothes, etc. I just haven't come up with a good system yet for food. Plus, we buy shampoo, body wash, toilet paper, facial wash (for my teen), etc nearly every week. (I think my kids secretly drink the shampoo because we go through it so often).

I think some of it has to do with personality too. I tend to want to buy the newest cleaning gadgets, etc. I like trying new "scents" of body wash, cleaners, etc. I get bored easy and also shopping (even if it's just for toilet paper) is my outlet....so it's hard to reconcile frugality with shopping

(sorry I'm not much help)
post #17 of 35
I dont know...I make far less and live in a tourist town and still make it work. My tricks: We shop alot of flyers and adjust our meals around what's on sale. I also shop at Aldi's from time to time, and fill in with fresh produce from stands around town.
I eat breakfast and lunch at the office, so I take both every day. Sometimes its food I'm really not in the mood for, but so be it.
I'm supporting 4 on less than 30k a year so I know it can be done.
I wish I baked my own bread, or had a bread machine. That seems like it would help so much!
This time of year it is easier for us, we eat a lot of salads. In the winter we do a lot of rice/ beans and sometimes rarely, an angel food box. Look that up if you feel like you might want to get some cheap/ non organic food. It does good in a pinch.
post #18 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by Summertime Mommy View Post
My kids are 12, 10, 7, 5, and 2. We live in a colege town in north central florida. I would say that the cost of living here is pretty squarely in the median range. Part of the problem we have is that we found ourselves in a really bad situation due to overdrafts a few months ago and we are still trying to digout of that. Plus, dh is now starting to pay back his student loans. will reply more later...
Did you go to the bank/call and explain and beg for mercy? If it is a rare thing for you to overdraft, they may reduce your fees by a lot. I have had mine waived 2 or 3 times.

I have 4 kids under 5, so I am too stressed to be able to price-check or cook from scratch. We are pretty much screwed as far as our grocery bill goes.

My 2 oldest both take dance classes the same place. The second child's cost is reduced by 25%. WHen I add my 3rd child, her cost will be reduced by 50%. If they all do the same thing, they can share equipment, transportation, and you may get a multi-child discount.
post #19 of 35
We try not to sign the kids up for classes that we can do ourselves. If I research something enough I feel like I can offer them enough to know if they are going to really show enough interest. We check out books on quilting, crochet, cooking, nature watching, hiking, soccer, volleyball, crafts ect.

My kids did art/music and P.E classes through their homeschool group this year. The P.E is only $48 a month and they go 3 times a week. The art and music classes were only $10 per kid for the year and met once a week. We drive out to the state parks for the free talks and classes as well. Ds is in scouts and his den leader has lots of activities for them too.
post #20 of 35
I'm still working on the grocery budgeting- but basically, I buy 90% of what we eat at Costco or Sam's Club. We are big meat eaters and drink a lot of cow's milk, and I can get dairy and meat cheaper there than anywhere else. Cereal, bread, laundry soap, etc. winds up being much cheaper for me at Costco, as well. And with 4 kids, I just can't drive around from store to store trying to find the best prices on everything; we're too busy for that and my DH is always harping on the "time value of money"- basically, he says that driving around trying to save a few cents here and there negates itself in the amount of time taken up and the gas money, plus the wear and tear on me and the kids.

For sports and activities, that's hard. One of our girls (10yo) is a competitive gymnast and her fees average $300/month. She's a kid who needs the specific outlet of this sport- she's got some different needs than a regular old kid for whom soccer at $40/season will suffice. People think we manage to afford it because she's really good- which she is, but that's not why. It would be great to have a cheaper sport for her, but it is what it is. Luckily, 7yo DD doesn't want to do any sports/activities other than fashion design and I spend about $40/month on supplies for her to create with. DS is 5 and we pay for private preschool, 3hrs/day, 3days/week at around $200/month during the school year; he's not interested in any sports or other activities. Baby is 10mos and eating is her main hobby

We've discussed it at length and agree that our kids shouldn't be limited by our family size; they didn't choose to have 4 kids in the family and it's really not fair to tell them, "You can't do this/that because we have so many kids" so we will continue to find a way to pay for sports/activities as they arise. Sometimes kids' interests/talents fall outside of the free community options, and we feel that as parents, it's our obligations to meet ALL of their needs, which can include physical/creative desires, as well as food/shelter/clothing, etc.
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