I hear you. I struggle to find a balance between doing things with the kids (we homeschool) and pouring myself into work and meal-planning and things like that.
As far as activities go, the basic trend has been that they can take a class/activity when they are around 10-11, and only one class that costs money. For DS1 this is a music class, for DS2 this is a circus class. We ask for as much financial aid as we qualify for and we reciprocate by volunteering or being generally helpful. I wait until that age because I want to be sure they are really committed, self-motivated, and going to get our money's worth out of whatever they are doing. Until that age we do a lot of playdates and homemade fun.
My three older kids play instruments, but they do not have regular/weekly lessons - I do a lot of teaching/helping and use their teachers as resources on an as-needed basis to keep costs down. Helps that I'm musical, though I don't have prior experience with their instruments. We found a creative way to make it affordable.
We also participate in free stuff like homeschool soccer and our homeschool day - not technically free but nearly so ($5/day for the whole family). We value family time and homegrown fun significantly.
Some people barter or trade - one mom teaches dance, the other teaches cooking, or whatever.
As for groceries, we also drink mostly water (homemade lemonade sometimes - cheaper than OJ for vit C - and tea sometimes in the winter). My kids would say that we don't eat a lot of "exciting" food, but we have variety and the options are healthy and relatively cheap.
Figure out where you are comfortable cutting corners, and also figure out what areas are high priority for spending (and let yourself honor that if you can afford to - cut in other areas and focus on the few things you value most).
It helped me to adjust my family's expectations over time, so that the "exciting" food and things are rare and treasured, and not everyday. On birthdays we splurge on a meal that the birthday person chooses, complete with drink and dessert (we normally don't do desserts). So 6x/year we indulge in a fancy meal...the kids usually pick things like steak, pulled pork, shrimp, salmon; not our usual fare.
I would love to find a cookbook called "1001 exciting ways to cook beans and lentils for extremely picky eaters with food sensitivities." Anyone know of one? (just kidding). Beans and lentils and rice stretch things out well, as does gardening and freebies like applesauce made from wild trees.
Also having a good system to reduce waste helps. Leftovers for breakfast/snack/lunch, etc, or repurposed for the next night's meal (stirfry becomes soup, etc.)
I don't know if that helps, but sometimes it's good to know you're not alone.
Oh, I have four ages 6, 7, 10, 11, and a DH who works from home.
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Originally Posted by Summertime Mommy  I am a mom of 5. DH has a pretty decent job (he brings in about $60,000 a year), and I am a SAHM. We are really struggling to stay on top of finances though, it seems that we just aren't bringing in enough to cover our bills much less buy food and gas. I am really struggling to provide healthy, foods without killing our budget. I was hoping you all could share your tips on how you stretch your food budget for your family.
I am also wonderring what other MoM do to afford things like sports and dance lessons for your kids. Do you even do those types of things, or do you just forgo them to save money? It makes me feel terrible that my kids can't participate in these things due to lack of money.
I'd love to hear any and all tips about how you make it work, because we are really struggling. Thanks!
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My kiddos are 15, 11, 10 and 6. My dh pulls in 60K a year too. However, our rent is $2500 a month (we live in So. Cal. and it's expensive!)
