moms of many: lets talk groceries other things - Page 2

[frugalmum]

Hi! My husband makes about twice what yours does-- but we live in a high COL area and recently moved into a huge house (8 bedrooms) to accommodate our large family size-- and along with that has come a huge mortgage. We also pay our own insurance out of pocket, so that too is a large expense that gobbles up his salary. I am struggling to keep other costs down, but it is so hard to keep the grocery bill low. All my kids, plus husband, are picky eaters.

We don't do lessons-- I just don't see these as worth it (unless, of course, you have the money to burn) unless the child is incredibly talented/ gifted-- in which case there is a lot they can learn on their own. Where I live, it would cost $200 for three months of art classes for one child. This is just not something we can buy for all 6 kids! Instead I buy them lots of art supplies and borrow instructional books from the library. We have an old piano and some beginner piano books, also recorders which are easy to learn by oneself. We also encourage the kids to play chess-- again very cheap to buy a chess set, and lots of books are available at the library, plus massive amounts of instructional chess material for free online.

We don't eat out and only get takeout once a month. No vacations. We have one vehicle. I try to keep the AC off as much as possible-- not easy (right now it is 100F out) but in general I keep it off unless it's brutally hot. In winter, we keep the thermostat at 48F and selectively heat parts of the house with space heaters.

We buy little to no packaged food-- I make almost everything from scratch, except sandwich bread. But this has been a huge struggle as the kids are so picky. In total we are 8 people in the house-- I could feed them on $120-$150 a week but I would get a lot of complaints. If I cater to their pickiness, it's closer to $250 a week.

We homeschool the kids and have them enrolled in a correspondence school grades 8-12 so they can have an accredited diploma, and we plan to send them to public college... I think private college is not worth the money, unless you are going into a lucrative filed of law, and get into an elite school.

We go to the library every week and borrow dozens of books, dvds, CDs, in lieu of buying or renting.

The kids wear hand-me-downs and stuff from second hand shops, I will buy new if it is a great sale, but generally only for the older children. so it can be handed down.

I don't know, it is hard, because it looks like we have a lot of money but after the mortgage, health insurance, and contributions to retirement (which we do in large part to avoid the tax bill) there just is not a whole lot left.

We absolutely love our house, though, and the extra space, so have no regrets about taking on the hefty mortgage.

[frugalmum]

Originally Posted by hotmamacita

ETA: If you are not covering your bills, can you reevaluate all your bills and see what you can reduce/remove? Are you eligible for food stamps/WIC?

This is a good point-- even if you have a significant family income, depending on your family size you might qualify for some assistance or subsidies. We qualify for a subsidized insurance plan because of our family size (we still pay a lot, but not as much as we would if we only had 2 or 3 kids).

[frugalmum]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

Thought of something else

We drink water or make sun tea.

Us too! And sometimes (no flames please!) homemade lemonade.

Lemonade is DELICIOUS and not as bad for you if it is diluted at a ratio of 3:1 ... I could drink it all day.

The "full force" lemonade I make is

14 cups water
2 cups bottled lemon juice (or fresh, but more expensive)
2 cups white sugar


Boil the sugar with 2 cups of water and then add the rest.

I dilute it at the above ratio (3:1 water to lemonade).

You can also make sweetened tea with 1 cup sugar to 16 cups water (half the sweetness of lemonade)--- at that quantity you can use 8 teabags for 16 cups. Fruit teas are so delicious this way.

[frugalmum]

Originally Posted by mykdsmomy

(I think my kids secretly drink the shampoo because we go through it so often).

You can dilute shampoo with water to make it last longer. One cup shampoo to four cups water will still create lots of suds.

[Ruthiegirl]

Originally Posted by frugalmum

You can dilute shampoo with water to make it last longer. One cup shampoo to four cups water will still create lots of suds.

I do this as well and then transfer the dilute shampoo to a squirt bottle with a teeny tiny hole. Works great and it much easier to rinse the shampoo out of the kids' hair.

[ikesmom]

Dh put our laundry soap (we buy at Sams Club) into a hand pump soap dispenser so the kids won't overload our washer with soap. DD's are 13 and 15 and DS is 10. I should do the same with the shampoo.

[Usually Curious]

This is hard. We have a large family: Dh, me, ds 18, ds 13, ds 4, ds 2, ds 5mo, cousin (mentally challenged - 36). My dd just got married and my food budget is feeling the relief of not feeding her and her fiance every night!

We don't eat much meat. Maybe on the Sabbath we'll have chicken or fish, red meat maybe 3-4 times a year. Seriously.

I try to plan my meals using a lot of the same ingredients. I don't cook exotic meals or anything I have to buy special ingredients for.

For instance, this week and weekend are a couple of huge basketball tournaments for ds 18. I planned (and made this morning) spaghetti, chili, fried rice and taco salad fixins. His girlfriend is in town and is allergic to dairy so I splurged on a couple pounds of ground turkey and made that into two batches of spaghetti, two batches of chili, taco salad 'meat' and the few spoons leftover made quesadillas for lunch. I never serve ground meat w/out adding beans or lentils.

I used a gallon can of diced tomatoes, the same bean mixture, onions, garlic and chopped peppers in all of those meals. I am boiling bone broth in the crockpot now from some chicken carcasses out of the freezer to make egg drop soup later.

I have vastly changed what I view as a meal. We had fish tacos and cantaloupe last night. The old me would have made rice and beans to go along with but we all ate well, filled up, washed fewer dishes and saved money by simplifying the meal.

Activities - well, that's a really hard one. As your children get older it will get much more expensive to have them in activities. My ds 18 is having a VERY expensive summer. AAU ball fees, tournament fees, camp fees, travel, hotel, food, gas. OMG, it is frightening. I have to remind myself that a few thousand invested this summer will probably gain him a basketball scholarship, maybe even to a Div. I school, and he will graduate from college debt free (or at least w/low debt). I see it as an investment but he is very talented and driven. If he was not we'd probably skip all of this.

My dd 20 has only wanted to get married and have a family. We have gotten a lot of criticism for allowing her to skip college. Why should she go, graduate w/a ton of debt only to stay home the moment she has her first child? That doesn't make sense to me.

Kids are different. Some will be content w/the library and free park days; others will need more.

[amyamanda]

re: homemade lemonade

We do something very similar - 2/3 cup maple syrup plus 1 cup lemon juice plus 1 gallon water. It is definitely sweet and lemony enough. Sometimes I dilute it further.

Maple syrup is expensive but we have a cane sugar sensitivity and we buy our syrup wholesale from a local farmer.

We don't drink it every day but it's so nice to have a little on hot summer days.

[amyamanda]

Originally Posted by Usually Curious

Kids are different. Some will be content w/the library and free park days; others will need more.

I totally agree with this. It is hard sometimes to treat kids as the individuals they are and still feel like things are relatively equitable among them, but I try. My kids all play different instruments. One gets a weekly class, one gets an expensive private lesson every 2-3 weeks, one is self-taught, and one gets free lessons from me. They are all different kids with different learning styles and needs, and they all seem very happy with their chosen instrument and the level of support they are getting.

I am also coming from a place where I'm not expecting all of my kids to go to college. It will make sense for some and not others. That's okay.

I have to remember that this helps model the value of "to each according to his need" and that it's more important that each kid get what they need than that we spend the same on each kid.

[redvlagrl]

I only have 2 kids and they are very young, so I can't help you too much but I thought I might be able to suggest something regarding lessons.

I am a musician and teach violin and really love bartering. Right now I am bartering lessons for consultations with a sutdent's mother who is a holistic nutritionist. I've also bartered for private yoga lessons. I would guess that any music teacher who is also a mom could be interested in this. Perhaps the trade could be that you watch her kids for a few hours a week? Also, she/he might be payng someone to watch their kids while they teach. You could offer to do that while your kids have their lessons in exchange for a lower rate.

Weekly lessons on instruments are imperative for good progress, and IMO it's really not worth it to take fortnightly lessons (I've tried this with students over the years). Also, groups lesson are kind of a wate of time unless they are in addition to private lesssons.

Hope this helps.

We are very frugal too and don't have a TV (so no cable bill), we also shopped around for super cheap internet/phone ($50 a month unlimited US/Canada including voicemail etc), no cell phones. We bake our own bread and don't buy anything processed - everything is cooked from scratch. We buy our produce and meat from a farmer's market (uncertified organic).

[KayleeZoo]

I have to remember that this helps model the value of "to each according to his need" and that it's more important that each kid get what they need than that we spend the same on each kid.

This is exactly how I look at it, and how I explain it to my kids. So many friends w/larger familes complain about their kids whining when a sibling gets something that they don't, but we've taught our eldest that since we're spending $300/mo on her sport, her sibs are going to get more toys, etc. and the other 2 know that when biggest sis needs a new leotard at $40, she gets it and they may not get anything because they recently got a toy, a fast food lunch out, etc.

I don't ever want my kids to believe that the amount of money spent equals love distribution, so I'm kind of glad that the spending is all out of whack in our family because it presents a great teaching opportunity.

[amyamanda]

Originally Posted by redvlagrl

Weekly lessons on instruments are imperative for good progress, and IMO it's really not worth it to take fortnightly lessons (I've tried this with students over the years). Also, groups lesson are kind of a wate of time unless they are in addition to private lesssons.

This may be true for the typical student, but I respectfully disagree that it is imperative for all. As a musician, I effectively homeschool my kids between lessons/classes and they are making respectable progress. We cannot afford weekly lessons and I do believe that what we are doing is definitely worth it (especially if the alternative would be to not learn music.)

[redvlagrl]

Originally Posted by amyamanda

This may be true for the typical student, but I respectfully disagree that it is imperative for all. As a musician, I effectively homeschool my kids between lessons/classes and they are making respectable progress. We cannot afford weekly lessons and I do believe that what we are doing is definitely worth it (especially if the alternative would be to not learn music.)

If you're a musician it probably is better than nothing. What I would worry about is the technique for the specific instrument (if you don't play that one yourself). 2 weeks is a long time to be practicing incorrect technique and can be very difficult to overcome.

Personally, I believe that even a 15 min lesson once a week is better than 30 mins every two weeks.

[Callimom]

I keep grocery bills down by using the usual tricks - meal planning based on sales, buying whole foods and in bulk, making our own as much as possible. That means I make our own bread, yogurt, baked goods, laundry soap, homemade cleansers, soap, canning/freezing etc.

We eat meat but sparingly and as an accompaniment rather than the centre piece of the meal.

We have a a couple of community based options to keep food affordable - a program based on the Good Food Box and an oragnic buying club.

As for lessons, we homeschool and I try to do as much as possible on the cheap. I won't pay for stuff I can do myself or find a way to get in our community (via trades or barters etc). So for example the cost of putting my 4 kids in the city soccer program was getting prohibitive and it meant that we would be out 4 nights a week. So I organize a small family soccer league for friends (about 60 kids). It costs 1/5 of what it would cost me to put my kids in the city soccer league and they all play on the same night at the same fields. It takes some work at the front end but it is totally worth it. I also organized a curling program last winter which cost half of what it would have cost if my kids joined the public league.

We also use co-ops and trading of skills. I have a friend who loves to do art projects with kids and who is going to do an art co-op with a few friends. I'll do a science or nature club with her kids.

We ask for memberships to various places as Christmas and birthday gifts and take advantage of the membership programs and clubs they have. Our membership for the nature centre gives us access to educational program during the summer.

hth
Karen

[sapientia]

I don't have much to add-it was just so comforting to hear that other people manage the same way we do! We are a family of 7 (kids age 16,13,11,9 and 2) and it seems that all I do is plan frugal meals, plot what I will use out of the pantry, how to manage our bills and the food. I do a lot of homemade soups, baked chicken soup type stuff, fruits and veggies from the stand down the road.
Like many here, we are big on not going the lessons route. My kids love music and the arts so we have guitars, drums, a bass, (and a piano we have to get moved to our place) so we teach the kids what we know and they research the rest or the occasional friend will show them things. I keep art supplies handy (amazing what goes on sale around school time-I really stock up for the year on those sales) When someone gets an interest we learn how to do it ourselves-it keeps us close as a family, too. My oldest boy is a baseball fanatic, though, so for the last few years we do budget for him to be part of the local team (which is like $30. uniform included) That keeps him happy for several months.
Another thing I have found for the highschool kids-dual enrollment will be a wonderful source of 'free' classes for them. My oldest is taking a college level ceramics class this next spring because she is in dual enrollment. My homeschooled highschooler will be doing the same as soon as she is old enough. (she's advanced and the college won't let her enroll till she is 15)
We don't vacation or do a lot of movies out-we netflix and do the streaming wii netflix thing for $8 a month-TONS of educational stuff on there. We garden, work together as a family and we have fun. It would be nice to have money to vacation, etc. But we don't feel like we are missing out, we entertain ourselves here, or the library, etc.
Again, it's great to see that others feel the same that we do.