Parenting Agreement-Need feedback-#30 Updated Version - Page 3

[Aridel]

I would specify under First Refusal that this excludes their time in their daycare/preschool program.

It's looking so much better than the one in the OP though! Good work!

[Phoenix~Mama]

Oh yeah, this is going well... At the suggestion of my lawyer I ran some of this by STBX to get a feel for what he was going to go ballistic on and what will need tweaking. The goal here is to not have to go to court and have a judge rule on things, but to come to an agreement beforehand and it will just be added into the divorce decree, saving me money.

So right away when I mentioned I wanted to talk about the parenting agreement, "Oh, so you want to tell me how to raise my kids? You don't care about anything but controlling me."

I told him it's mostly about custody and that he has a standing custody agreement with his oldest DD so why should this be a surprise to get one for his younger two?

Then I told him how I was trying to be fair and that one thing I thought would help was to not change the EOW schedule for holidays, that all the holiday weekends would be in addition to his weekends, so some months he would have three weekends.

He flipped. Told me, "How is that fair? I deserve time off too you know. I need to have a life too."

Me, "um, you have all week off from the kids, I thought you'd want to see them as often as you can?"

Then later in the conversation he totally contradicted himself saying how he should get all vacations. And I said they aren't even in school yet and do not have vacations yet, for one... for two, that goes against the previous statement of not wanting three weekends in one month for holidays.

He continues to hurt my head.

[Super~Single~Mama]

JSMa - based on your prior posts, I could have told you he'd react that way. So I'm laughing, but I'm not at all surprised!!

[nemawei]

OMG, Are you divorcing my husband?! This is exactly what I am going through. It is so frustrating! All I am trying to do is get an agreement that works for everyone, but most importantly, is in the best interest of DD.

Like you, I am trying to write a "schedule" and I am just about done and to the point of sharing it with stbX. This thread has been really helpful!

Originally Posted by JSMa

Oh yeah, this is going well... At the suggestion of my lawyer I ran some of this by STBX to get a feel for what he was going to go ballistic on and what will need tweaking. The goal here is to not have to go to court and have a judge rule on things, but to come to an agreement beforehand and it will just be added into the divorce decree, saving me money.

So right away when I mentioned I wanted to talk about the parenting agreement, "Oh, so you want to tell me how to raise my kids? You don't care about anything but controlling me."

I told him it's mostly about custody and that he has a standing custody agreement with his oldest DD so why should this be a surprise to get one for his younger two?

Then I told him how I was trying to be fair and that one thing I thought would help was to not change the EOW schedule for holidays, that all the holiday weekends would be in addition to his weekends, so some months he would have three weekends.

He flipped. Told me, "How is that fair? I deserve time off too you know. I need to have a life too."

Me, "um, you have all week off from the kids, I thought you'd want to see them as often as you can?"

Then later in the conversation he totally contradicted himself saying how he should get all vacations. And I said they aren't even in school yet and do not have vacations yet, for one... for two, that goes against the previous statement of not wanting three weekends in one month for holidays.

He continues to hurt my head.