DD+DS on the way does not = done (rant) - Page 2

[Just1More]

Me, too...12 is my magic number.

[paintedfire]

Originally Posted by Just1More

Me, too...12 is my magic number.

Really? Most people think I'm crazy when I say that. I'm just expecting my first now, so I keep getting the "oh, wait until you have this one. Then you won't want that many anymore," line. If only they knew I was planning on having this one at home.

Seriously, though I want our entire house to be filled with children. I like even numbers so I go with twelve but I'm not "set" on it. I can't be - I've got lupus, and I'm turning thirty in August so time is click, click, clicking away. It took us a year to conceive this one and I want to wait at least a year after this one is born before even thinking about trying for number two to give my body some time to rest - and also to spend some time, just the three of us as a family.

We both know we want to adopt, so that has bearing on our decisions as well. But I'm hoping to have at least four myself and if I get lucky more.

[fyrwmn]

i'll never understand why people can't get the concept of truly just wanting a healthy baby! we have a boy and a girl, and a mystery baby in the baking process. i tend to be sarcastic anyways though, so i generally tell people we're hoping this one's a monkey . honestly though, i'm so happy with both ds and dd, why wouldn't we want to add more? children are a blessing, not a burden, and we're happy to keep piling up these blessings! i'm just hoping to get dh on board with at least one or two more after this .

[MyFillingQuiver]

Originally Posted by Ashley_R

I am getting so annoyed at how many times I've been asked if we are done with kids after this one. Yes we have a daughter and this one is a boy, one of each is nice, but why does that have to mean that we are done having children. Several people have even gone straight to saying "One of each, so your done right?" Seriously!?!? 1st of all how is this any of their business, 2nd the sex of our children isn't going to be what determines what family size we decide on. Arg!

Sorry rant over.

Yeah, it's really ugly, isn't it? People generally don't quiz people on the type of bc they've chosen-which gives the assumption that we all choose it, but yet they can question and assume things about our procreation?

Children are no longer viewed a blessing in our culture. Well, the first one, maybe the second, and when perfectly spaced, planned for, and endowed with a college fund...otherwise, they are burdensome.

Just let it roll off your back. I can truly relate. The negativity of family and friends and perfect strangers really weighed heavily on me years ago. It led me to have a tubal ligation, which I later had reversed. As long as my husband are 24/7 parents who are committed to raising strong, responsible, compassionate, educated, healthy Christian children, I don't see it as the business of anyone else...we have a 12 passenger van, and we'll fill it up if God leads us there.

Blessings to you...ALL children are blessings, no matter how many others have chosen to have.

[MaerynPearl]

I have 12 siblings.

Sometimes it REALLY sucks.

(ETA - I actually have 12 biological brothers and sister on my dads side... 5 on my moms... and a few step siblings so I actually have a LOT more than 12... but thats one of my many numbers lol)

[MyFillingQuiver]

Originally Posted by MaerynPearl

I have 12 siblings.

Sometimes it REALLY sucks.

(ETA - I actually have 12 biological brothers and sister on my dads side... 5 on my moms... and a few step siblings so I actually have a LOT more than 12... but thats one of my many numbers lol)

I'm sorry it sucks for you. That's very sad.

Thankfully, most of the people I know in or from a large family (more than 5 or 6 kids) love it, and have chosen that for their own family.

We have 5 right now, and one on the way, and the 4 who are old enough to communicate say they love it and they hope we have lots more babies.

[MaerynPearl]

I like the family with 5 a lot more than the family with 12... I don't get lost in the mix so much... we are all much closer (unlike in the family with 12 where I am 10 years younger than the oldest... and I'm not the youngest... so its hard to really bond with them)

[Greenlea]

I'm pregnant with my 2nd and my 1st is a boy. My step-mom said "I hope this one's a girl so you guys will be done." As if she wants us to be done for some reason. She didn't even ask, she just stated.

I don't know if we'll stop at two, but if we do, it won't be because I'll have 1 boy and 1 girl.

[dannic]

I dislike these types of comments too. Mostly, I think people are just curious, but I think our culture is a bit off when we can satisfy our curiosity in such rude manners...I usually use the "we're hoping for 12 children" comment too. it really throws people off.

[butterflies]

We always wanted at least 4 (and maybe a couple more) and we started getting that comment after ds. I totally feel like we're getting away with something by having #3 and 4 at the same time.

[CherryBomb]

It drives me crazy that people can't seem to grasp that some of us actually WANT more than one or two kids. My mom's family has been asking me when I'm going to get my tubes tied since #2 Most other people assume that we only had more than two to try and get boy. So of course since this one is a boy people just assume we're "done." Uggh.

[nova22]

Doesn't matter if you have one or fifteen, there will always be someone with an obnoxious comment. Your fertility and your family size are no one's business, but try convincing the world of that. It's so frustrating. Oddly, we got most of our rude comments when we had two (a boy and a girl, actually). They were only 11mo apart so we got a lot of "don't you know what causes that?" and "don't you have TV?" Seven years later we know every comeback in the book and use them if prompted. Every once in a while we get the person who is obviously counting our kids' heads and then says "Whew, you have your hands full!" I assume they're being nice, even if they obviously aren't, and smile and say "Thanks!"

Really, I think the best response to any family size comment is "Why do you ask?" In your situation - "Are you done now?" "Why do you ask?" "Well, uh, because you have one boy, and one girl, and that's perfect..." "Oh? Why do you say that?" "Uhh...because I'm a jerk?" It's tactful on your part but people always flounder to answer because they suddenly realize that they're being nosy and rude.