I moved in with my honey about 9 months ago. I have a DD (22), he has two DS's (20 and 16). All are great kids. The 16 year old lives with us about 75% of the time, when we first started dating the older son lived here as well, but once he graduated, he decided to stay at his mom's as it's closer to the college he attends as well as work.
Here's the issue. The 20 year old rarely, if ever calls his dad. He only calls if he needs something. Honey will call his son and ask him to come over, when he does, he brings his laptop and gaming system and sits and does that by himself. I've suggested that honey ask his son to do something that he enjoys...disc golf, bowling, etc. 20 always declines. We live on a lake and I've told 20 he can invite friends over and "play" on the lake, volleyball, tubing, skiing, boating, fishing, bonfire...whatever they want. No thanks is all he says.
Lately on the rare occasion he comes over, he doesn't even say hi to us or talk to either of us. If one of us go into the room he is in, he'll get up and leave. He seems fine taking money from his dad (dad bought him a car, pays insurance and all up keep/maintainance on the car, dad pays for school, books, etc.) Both Honey and I are feeling like we're being used. This past weekend 20 came over and brought a friend. Neither said a word to either of us, made a huge mess, ate dinner (away from us) and then left.
I know this is between Honey and his son, but is there anything I can do to assist? Anything I can suggest? Am I wrong for asking 20 to clean up/put his stuff away before he leaves? I'd like to know how to create some family time with all of us...or even without me. Is this a phase? Any suggestions?
Here's the issue. The 20 year old rarely, if ever calls his dad. He only calls if he needs something. Honey will call his son and ask him to come over, when he does, he brings his laptop and gaming system and sits and does that by himself. I've suggested that honey ask his son to do something that he enjoys...disc golf, bowling, etc. 20 always declines. We live on a lake and I've told 20 he can invite friends over and "play" on the lake, volleyball, tubing, skiing, boating, fishing, bonfire...whatever they want. No thanks is all he says.
Lately on the rare occasion he comes over, he doesn't even say hi to us or talk to either of us. If one of us go into the room he is in, he'll get up and leave. He seems fine taking money from his dad (dad bought him a car, pays insurance and all up keep/maintainance on the car, dad pays for school, books, etc.) Both Honey and I are feeling like we're being used. This past weekend 20 came over and brought a friend. Neither said a word to either of us, made a huge mess, ate dinner (away from us) and then left.
I know this is between Honey and his son, but is there anything I can do to assist? Anything I can suggest? Am I wrong for asking 20 to clean up/put his stuff away before he leaves? I'd like to know how to create some family time with all of us...or even without me. Is this a phase? Any suggestions?
