Single Parent HSers -- Please Share Strategies!

[cyberfish]

Okay, single parents...please I need some tangible practical tips. I'm trying to find last resort options so I don't need to put my child in public school. (No offense to public schoolers or teachers.)

If I do enroll her, I plan to go along with whatever they offer, but I'm not liking it. The PS she'd be in has 7 hour days for kindergarteners. I asked about downtime and was told that they have very little time to rest or play because there was too much to do to get these kids up to state standards.

We'll suck it up and do it if we have to...but school was never in my plans and certainly not so much "school" so early.

So single parents: how do you do it? I have a job outside the home (College prof.). What do you all do for income? I'll bag my career after this academic year and do something else if it means doing right by my child. What do you do for child care if your child is young? How do you manage expenses?

I'll have options this fall but so far the ones that don't involve public school will strain my finances and/or time constraints to the point of breaking. And I've spent a lot of time looking, trying to make connections, etc. Basically, I'll be financially strapped and lose any time I might have had to finish and publish all the scholarly research I've done, thus killing my career. So I might have to find another job anyway.

Any creative solutions? Thanks mamas. I'm feeling bummed.

[splotchy1]

I'm a single HS mama to 2, and I can tell you my story...though I don't know if it will help.
I was a single mom by choice, so I went into this knowing I would always be doing it on my own.
I used to be a teacher, but "tweaked" my career so that I am doing Instructional Design work. I work from home and mainly just have to be available for phone meetings. With the economy, I have found that I haven't had 1/2 as much work as usual, so I just opened an educational store in our town to support teachers and homeschoolers. I co-own the store with another homeschooling mom, so I am only there 4-5 hours a day. The kiddos are with me and do their work there.
If I had the finances, I would consider a part-time nanny. Nannies are available anytime, and the actual schooling can be done anytime. I wouldn't be tied to finding care for a school-aged child during typical school hours.
We do most of our reading at bedtime these days and watch great DVDs from the library on science topics in our minivan!
The biggest thing I would say is- if you have support from family, friends, nannies, etc...you can make it work one way or another. That's the great thing about HS!
Best of luck in your decisions!

[LenasMommy]

Hi! I'm a single mom and we are a homeschooling family. Have you considered becoming an online professor? Some online schools to consider are: Argosy University Online, Capella University, Kaplan University, University of Phoenix just to name a few. This is my plan once I finish my masters degree. The pay can be pretty good too! Just an idea Good luck!

[Daffodil103]

Not sure how applicable these are, but below are some of the modifications I've made to make homeschooling feasible for us
1. Whenever possible, pick curricula that is not teacher intensive. I loved CIMT MEP for math but opted for Singapore instead. For younger kids Starfall, Tumblebooks, Reader Rabbit come to mind. Caution: We used a lot of computer based programs when my DD was young & I'm not crafty. I think that contributed to some of her fine motor delays. Her handwriting is gradually getting better with practice.
2. Carschool - this can take whatever form or shape fits your family. Experiment, see what works for you. I've used audio tapes, made up games, licence plates, road signs etc to learn. I think the Homeschool Buyers Coop has a free abridged version of Carschooling the book. It'll definitely have more ideas. (Aside: we actually started carschooling when both kids where in PS to pass time as we drove to older DD's karate classes. Didn't even know they had a name for it.)
3. Childcare while you work is the biggest issue. When my DD was supposed to be in jnr K, I just didn't think she was emotionally ready so I enrolled her part-time in a regular daycare. It was not a good fit. She was miserable. I ended up with a home day care where she was happy but the diet was appalling. Hot dogs & chicken fingers. The provider was nice though - took them to the park and other activities even in winter. Maybe a flexible home day care?
4. Generally - avoid buying curricula. Use the library, thrift stores (our thrift store have better prices than used book stores), internet etc. I think you can successfully homeschool for little money up to Gr. 5. Maybe more laborious though.
5. If you have a smartphone, use the down time to plan/research. I have a data plan which is somewhat a luxury but it helps me research stuff when I have a minute to spare.
6. Plan -I don't follow my plans religiously but I find it helps me to have a plan when I'm frazzled. Sometimes I wake up & may not sure what we're supposed to be doing. Looking at my plans put me in the right frame of mind. It helps me switch gears. (I hope that makes sense. I wear too many hats.)
7. Make peace with the fact that your homeschooling may end up not being the same as what you envisioned. This sounds obvious, but it took me a while to relax & be OK with less than perfect. We're still happier than when kiddos were in PS & they're OK academically. They are lots of fun stuff we haven't been able to do, but such is life. The same can happen in PS.


In general, I learnt a lot from working parents who homeschool & parents homeschooling on a tight budget. It's amazing how much we have in common. So many creative ideas I've plagiarised. Meal planning to cut down on time spent on mundane, giving kids chores, clean-up strategies etc. Anything to save time and money.

There's also a 'danger' for single moms (or anyone who is homeschooling in what they perceive to be less than optimum conditions) to fixate on those and miss the other 'fun stuff.' I have to keep reminding myself that even though my house is less that clean, the time I've shared with the kids is priceless.

I hope you find a way to make it work for you. I have thoroughly enjoyed my year HSing & kick myself for not having done it sooner. Good luck either way!

[zjande]

I was a single parent for awhile & made my income by having a full time at-home childcare business. I won't lie though... it was really, really tough to juggle, & I barely got by financially at all. But, to me it was still better than having the kids in public school. sigh.

It's tough! I do wish you tons of luck figuring it all out!

[inky leeuhhh]

we just got through a year of hsing while working full time. i'm not a single parent anymore, but this info may still be useful.

first off, i found a really great home daycare. the kids were there from 8:30 till 3:30 (still are through the summer). i knew they would have to be away from me during the day, and i decided i'd rather have them in the home daycare with us hsing dd after work and on weekends, than at ps. you have to know your reasons for hsing in the first place before you can decide what plan you want to put into action. we had no sah options work-wise, so they had to go somewhere. i figured a home daycare was the closest environment i could find to them being in our own home (a nanny was out of the picture for us, as we need state assistance with child care and nannies do not qualify).

as for managing the actual school work, i was able to put the curriculum together in my free time, get everything together in the am before i left for work, and dh would get done with dd what he could in the afternoon when they got home. anything dh wasn't comfortable with teaching her or didn't get to, i did on the weekends. i also read to her quite a bit in the evenings, and did bigger projects and field trips on the weekends. it was quite do-able, though i wont lie and say it wasn't any work. it takes planning and extra energy. i am also going to college online, which cut down considerably on my time.

all this said, we are going to try having me stay home this coming fall, which will make homeschooling them much easier (though our budget will be much tighter). if i was still single though, i would have no problems with continuing with our old plan. you can make it work, you just need to be creative!

[cyberfish]

Thank you all, for your thoughtful responses. You have given me lots to consider. The conversations I've had with friends IRL have suggested letting my DD try out PS, since kindergarten tends to be more play-based than anything. Then I can get on my feet myself and if school isn't working for her, I can pull her mid year and submit a homeschool plan. Or stick it out the year if she's okay with it and then have more stability to HS if we're still in the same place.
The online teaching has crossed my mind -- I was a finalist for a full time online position but didn't get it. I think that is an awesome idea Maybe I'll pursue that more aggressively this coming job search year.
I'm seriously unworried about my daughter academically. She's a self-driven learner who loves numbers, math, and she even destroyed a book in frustration because she was unable to read it. So she's HIGHLY motivated to start reading better.
Thanks for the hugs and well wishes.

[elsie123]

Originally Posted by cyberfish

Then I can get on my feet myself and if school isn't working for her, I can pull her mid year and submit a homeschool plan.

You've gotten a lot of great ideas here. I just wanted to add that you don't even have to submit any kind of intent or plan to the state of PA until your child's 8th birthday, so you have plenty of time to plan the hs-ing side of this.

[cyberfish]

Elsie, thanks for the tip but unfortunately as of next week we'll be residents of Virginia, where the legal age is 5 So yeah, gotta work on a backup homeschool kindy curriculum.