IVF (medical leave) - I feel like a wuss even asking this question!!!

[blueyezz4]

So we have done 3 IUI's that have all failed and now DH and I are talking about going the IVF route. I know how stressed I get the weeks that I have to do monitoring for the IUI's with trying to balance getting to my appts and my crazy schedule at work, plus balancing the rest of life in there too. It is hard getting to work late on all of those days and trying to make up the time at the end of the day to get everything done. Maybe if I had a normal desk job where my work would just wait for me it'd be different, but I don't. Anyways, so I'm thinking about the IVF and all that will be involved with that and I'm wondering if we do decide to do an IVF if taking a medical leave would be crazy! I consider myself a pretty tough person and like I said, i feel like a "wuss" even thinking about it, but if we are going to spend all that money I'd like to give my body the best chance at decreased stress to help with this process. I don't even know if my dr would allow it and I think it is even going to be hard for me to ask the question, I guess that is why I thought I'd post it on here first - b/c I'm scared she will laugh at me and say NO!!! Be honest... am I crazy to even consider thinking about a med. leave for such a thing??? Oh, I forgot to mention that in my job (Therapist in a nursing home) I have to do a fair amount of heavy lifting and am always at risk of someone falling where I would probably attempt to catch them - only human nature to try and help someone. Let me know your honest opinion. This whole IVF thing is all new to me so who knows, maybe it really isn't that bad. I really feel like I'm still in the dark about the whole thing. TIA

[gumby74]

Personally.....I think your reason for wanting to use some FMLA time is completely justified. It would not be hard for you to make a case that stress has taken a toll on your body and emotional well being. The law states "The Family & Medical Leave Act (FMLA) allows ”eligible” employees to take off up to 12 work weeks in any 12 month period for the birth or adoption of a child, to care for a family member, or if the employee themselves has serious health condition." I had a doctor who would have written me an excuse for FMLA if I had a hang nail. To her it was more about what the patient felt she needed and not necessarily what the law felt. So, it really comes down to your doctor and what he/she feels is worthy of a FMLA request. If it was me, I would approach the infertility docs and not your reg OB. They are more likely to empathize with your situation. I don't think you are a wuss for wanting to do this. Over the past years of TTC, you have gotten to know your body more than you have ever wanted to and you know what helps and doesn't. I really think your reasons are justified! Best of Luck!!!

[lesliesara63]

I don't think you are a wuss at all. I have lots of sick time and use it as needed. Every time I have an IUI I take the day off. If I were to do IVF it would require days of sick time. My clinic does everything up to egg retrieval then you go to another city for the ER and transfer. I think its a good idea to think of this now before you are in the thick of it.

[blueyezz4]

Thanks Tricia! You always have the right thing to say!! I don't really even have much contact with my reg OBGYN and I'm thinking my RE won't go for it b/c I don't think she fully gets it. I have an appt with one of the nurses mid July for an info session so maybe i'll mention it there, but I'm not sure, I'll probably just tough it out like I do everything else. Thanks again!

[blueyezz4]

Originally Posted by lesliesara63

I don't think you are a wuss at all. I have lots of sick time and use it as needed. Every time I have an IUI I take the day off. If I were to do IVF it would require days of sick time. My clinic does everything up to egg retrieval then you go to another city for the ER and transfer. I think its a good idea to think of this now before you are in the thick of it.

Lesliesara - thanks!! I like to take the day of an IUI off too. I always feel like I've been hit by a Truck after the IUI. I hate to call off work b/c I feel bad that now my co-worker has to pick up more work or my boss has to find someone else to help, so i rarely do it. It is my own issue... I'm just too nice I guess and b/c I'm always worried about everyone else, but myself.

When you say "the clinic does everything up to the egg retrieval" are you talking about where you live right now or what?? So does that mean you don't have to do all the mixing and injections on yourself? That is a plus. Maybe you are talking about Costa Rica... i think I read about that there too! Sorry I'm just a little lost here. Fill me in!!

[soso-lynn]

where i work, we offer a medical leave from the retrieval until the bhcg as standard procedure. Some patients ask for time off before the retrieval and that is dealt with on an individual basis. It would not be weird or unusual to ask.

[blueyezz4]

Originally Posted by soso-lynn

where i work, we offer a medical leave from the retrieval until the bhcg as standard procedure. Some patients ask for time off before the retrieval and that is dealt with on an individual basis. It would not be weird or unusual to ask.

Wow, that is great!!! Do you work in the medical field by any chance? If not, that is great that you work is so understanding with that kind of thing!!!

[EllyMayMomma]

[QUOTE=blueyezz4;15579779]I'm just too nice I guess and b/c I'm always worried about everyone else, but myself.QUOTE]

Think of it as worring about and putting your baby first, not yourself. As important as this time could be to conceive that child, take the time off. I don't think weeks is unreasonable considering the rest of your life!

[Violet2]

If you need the time, take it and don't even worry about it. Experts have said that infertility is as stressful as any other medical issue.

Your RE should have no problem writing a letter for FMLA--IVF can be pretty rigorous on the body.

V

[crazyrunningmama]

I took a medical leave for my last IVF and it was the best choice for me. IVF is very hard on your body, much harder than I ever would have thought before I did it. And it is a lot of money and a lot of stress, if you can take time off of work and be easy on yourself, I would say go for it. I would say the same to anyone doing IVF, unless you love love love your job and your boss is totally flexible about arriving late etc. on bw and u/s days. (my last IVF worked btw, which is why I'm not around on the IF board much these days)

[blueyezz4]

Thanks everyone for your posts!!! I appreciate all the fedback!! We are just trying to get through some testing right now and then if we get the okay we will move to the next step. I think things will be changing with my job here soon,so that will hopefully help with the stress and make my schedule a little more flexible. We will see. Fingers crossed!! Thanks again!!

[soso-lynn]

Originally Posted by blueyezz4

Wow, that is great!!! Do you work in the medical field by any chance? If not, that is great that you work is so understanding with that kind of thing!!!

I meant that the fertility clinic I work at offers a medical leave to our patients. Sorry for not being clear.

Good luck with your treatment.