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Santa Pictures (this time with no link)

post #1 of 38
6/30/10 at 12:44am
Thread Starter 
Recently I've been thinking about the whole santa/easter bunny pic thing. It seems really wrong to me to put your child on a strangers lap, especially if they are reluctant or unwilling to do so.

Does anyone here have memories of being forced to sit on santa's lap? Maybe it isn't really a big deal in the big scheme of things? I don't remember ever visiting santa, even though there are pictures of me with him (and I don't look unhappy).

I'm interested in hearing other's thoughts.
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post #2 of 38
6/30/10 at 1:17am
IMO it's not a big deal in and of itself. However, if a parent is forcing a child to do something that he/she is afraid or reluctant to do (that isn't necessary, such as in this situation) it can indicate that there is a larger belief held by the parent/caregiver that the child's feelings are not important.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I know/have seen parents make their kids do all sorts of things that fit into the category of unnecessary w/out acknowledging that the child is a human being and should have their feelings taken into consideration. Teary pics w/strangers dressed up in costumes is just one of the ways to convey the larger attitude.

Does that make sense? I hope so bc I am tired.

BTW, I have never forced my kids to take pics w/ a holiday character. I feel that if I were to do so the damaging message they would get about the validity of their feelings would last much longer than a pic. (And disclaimer: this is my general opinion and of course there are exceptions to every rule and variations in circumstances).
post #3 of 38
6/30/10 at 7:46am
I remember being 11 and having to sit on Santa's lap because my mom wanted a picture. It was humiliating and the santa creeped me out. He told me I could only have a large candy cane if I kissed him on the cheek. So I left without a candy cane. I don't have any unpleasant memories of santa before that one time, though.

Although this is a little different, I have terrible memories of my mom making me get my picture taken made up as a clown at the circus every year when I was little. I really hated that and you can tell through the makeup that I'm crying in all the pictures.
post #4 of 38
6/30/10 at 7:50am
I remember going when I was little, and I always had a great time.

I took AJ this year for his first Christmas, and he loooved it. The Santa at our local m, all is a "real" santa..A real beard, and very friendly. I went when they weren't too busy, and took AJ up to see him. Santa talked to him for a few minutes, and then I handed him over. Here's a picture: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?...&id=1447797441

Now, if AJ would have at any time showed any fear or didn't WANT to be around Santa I would never force him. If this year we go, and he doesn't want to do it, we'll leave.

I didn't take him to the Easter bunny, because that thing at our mall is creepy and gives me chills. So we don't do that one..lol
post #5 of 38
6/30/10 at 12:25pm
Ds1 went to sit with Santa for his first Christmas and did really well, his second Christmas he wanted nothing to do with Santa so we didn't make him. We've fallen out of the practice of going to see/sit with Santa since then. The pictures are VERY overpriced, IMO.

We did the Easter Bunny for ds1's first Easter (he was born in Feb, so he was too small to object to anything) but after that we didn't take him anymore. Ds2 hasn't been to see either Santa or the Easter Bunny, but I don't think he'd like them much.
post #6 of 38
6/30/10 at 1:00pm
There is ONE photo of me on a mall Santa's lap (one year my grandfather dressed up and I realized it was him so I had no issues). Something about Santa creeped me out and I refused to do it ever again. Apparently, I'm quoted as saying, "I'm not sitting on that dirty old man's lap."

My mother offered it as a suggestion for several years but never forced it. After a few years of refusing she stopped asking and figured if I wanted to do it *I* would bring it up.

The Easter bunny I don't think I had a problem...there are a couple of photos of that.


If you're FORCING it then there's a problem. It's such an unnecessary thing to do. You can still have Christmas without that photo. (My FIL tried to convince me otherwise)
post #7 of 38
6/30/10 at 1:02pm
I would do it if the kids wanted to but I would never force kids to sit there for a picture. Making someone sit on someone else's lap is a bad idea.
post #8 of 38
6/30/10 at 1:42pm
DS loves it, so he visits Santa every year. I don't buy the pictures, since neither of us cares about that part -- he just likes to visit him and talk with him, and our Santa is the same awesome guy every year and takes his time talking with the kids.

Last year was the first year I brought DD with us when we visited, and she was excited the whole time in line but then got a little nervous when we approached him, so she didn't sit with him but she waved while I held her.

I don't think it's a particularly odd tradition because there's so much history and context behind it -- it's normal in my mind because it's always been that way, you know? But yeah, if it hadn't been a tradition for so long and someone tried to start a "Hey, let's put kids on this guy's lap and take pictures" movement, I'm sure that wouldn't go over too well.

That said, I agree that no child should be forced to sit with a holiday character if they're afraid or reluctant in any way -- it's absurd to me that it's more important for some parents to get that (crazily overpriced) photo than to respect their child's feelings.
post #9 of 38
6/30/10 at 1:42pm
We do the Santa pictures most years (a couple of times, they've gotten lost in the shuffle). I'd never heard of the Easter Bunny pics until I came here. I'm guessing it hasn't caught on in Canada.

If my kids really didn't want to do it, I wouldn't do it. The only one I've ever put any pressure on is ds1, and it wasn't like "you have to do this". It was more "hey - I know you're getting way too old for this, but I'd like to have one pic of all four of you - do you mind?". So, last year, he sat beside Santa, with dd2 on his (ds1's) lap, while dd1 and ds2 sat on Santa. It's an amzing pic! DS1 said he was glad he did it, because it turned out so well. I'd never force a crying child to do it or anything like that, but my kids enjoy it.

We have one pic of me and my sister on Santa's knee, and my sister is crying. But, apparently, she wanted to sit on Santa's knee, because I was doing it, and when mom told her she didn't have to, she freaked out. So, she's on Santa's knee, and crying...but she'd have been crying if she hadn't been allowed to do it, too. Mom doesn't go around showing people the "cue" picture of her traumatized dd, though. (It's kind of unfortunate, as she really wanted to be there with me, and it's otherwise a really great photo - the Santa pics when I was little were pretty good quality.)

I really don't get the whole "make the kid sit on Santa's lap, then laugh at them when they cry" thing. It weirds me out.
post #10 of 38
6/30/10 at 2:11pm
Moving to Parenting.
post #11 of 38
6/30/10 at 2:26pm
Actually, I have a good rant about this...... here goes.

All year long you watch out for strangers paying too much attention to your child or strangers touching your child and wham, bam, Xmas comes and you drop your kid on a stranger's lap! A male stranger's lap. Are you freaking kidding me? And he talks to and cuddles your child... who may be told any other time of the year "not talk to strangers". Talk about your mixed messages!.

And the folks who take crying child Santa picture? There's a special spot in Hades for them.. I'm sure of it.
post #12 of 38
6/30/10 at 2:34pm
I really don't get the appeal of a picture sitting on someone's lap. We just do pictures of my kids standing in front of the tree or something.
post #13 of 38
6/30/10 at 2:35pm
I personally think the picture of DH crying in Santa lap is cute.

But only because I know the story behind it. Santa was his papa and DH was crying because his brother had just taken his candy cane from him.

If they are crying because they are genuinely scared, thats just cruel

as for us... my kids dont even go see santa (and easter bunny? I have NEVER heard of going to see the easter bunny!)

Not because its against our beliefs or anything... we celebrate Christmas. I just see no point. If DS wants to send him a letter, thats cool... I encourage that... but as was already said, I dont want to go force my kids to sit in some strangers lap and take overpriced pictures of them. Theres no point to it.
post #14 of 38
6/30/10 at 5:06pm
The Santa (real beard, seriously looks like he could be the 'real' deal) at our local mall sits on a bench. Most kids end up sitting next to him. It makes the majority of kids much happier.
post #15 of 38
6/30/10 at 5:14pm
DS cries if his grandparents try to hold him, so Santa was definitely OUT this past year.

I don't remember getting pictures with Santa, my parents may have done it once or twice if we wanted to but it wasn't a yearly thing & we didn't do Easter Bunny pictures at all. I don't really see any reason to do it, doesn't interest me, and I'm not even sure if we'll do the whole Santa/Easter Bunny thing or just stick to reality.

I agree with the pp who said that continually forcing your child to do something they don't want to/are scared to do is more of a larger issue...

ETA: I got really confused when I first saw this thread because... um... it's JUNE. I've been really tired & had to double-check the date to make sure I wasn't off by 6 months!!
post #16 of 38
6/30/10 at 5:17pm
My guys love it, so it isn't a huge issue. If they didn't, then I wouldn't force the issue.
post #17 of 38
6/30/10 at 5:19pm
I would never force a child to sit on Santa's lap, but I see no problem if they want to do it. I don't immediately think "potential molester" when I see a mall Santa, and I'm right there while my kid is on his lap. My sister is like this, every year she tells me not to get my kids' photos taken on Santa's lap because "you never know" but I really think that's just silly.
post #18 of 38
6/30/10 at 5:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by vbactivist View Post
Recently I've been thinking about the whole santa/easter bunny pic thing. It seems really wrong to me to put your child on a strangers lap, especially if they are reluctant or unwilling to do so.

Does anyone here have memories of being forced to sit on santa's lap? Maybe it isn't really a big deal in the big scheme of things? I don't remember ever visiting santa, even though there are pictures of me with him (and I don't look unhappy).

I'm interested in hearing other's thoughts.
I remember a similar thread on here once. Someone pointed out that you shouldn't make a child hug/kiss a family member if they don't want to, and stuff like that. I also agree that if a child in unwilling or reluctant than you shouldn't make them do it. It was something about learning to tolerate inappropriate behavior from others. Eh, I think this was from Protecting the Gift, and trusting your instincts, especially as a child? I'll stop now, I'm getting confusing!

I'm personally not too big on the Santa/Easter bunny pictures. ETA: when I was a child I didn't like it, I was shy and reserved and being told to sit on some strangers lap wasn't cool with me, but I still did it but eventually I just put my foot and said no, or threw a fit!
post #19 of 38
6/30/10 at 6:03pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by philomom View Post
Actually, I have a good rant about this...... here goes.

All year long you watch out for strangers paying too much attention to your child or strangers touching your child and wham, bam, Xmas comes and you drop your kid on a stranger's lap! A male stranger's lap. Are you freaking kidding me? And he talks to and cuddles your child... who may be told any other time of the year "not talk to strangers". Talk about your mixed messages!.
Cuddles your child? Seriously? That sounds really strange. I've never seen a mall Santa cuddle a kid.

None of this applies to us. I don't tell my children not to talk to strangers. Since I'm frequently telling them to talk to strangers (wait staff, cashiers, mail carriers, counter people of various kinds, etc.), that would just be confusing.
post #20 of 38
6/30/10 at 6:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
None of this applies to us. I don't tell my children not to talk to strangers. Since I'm frequently telling them to talk to strangers (wait staff, cashiers, mail carriers, counter people of various kinds, etc.), that would just be confusing.
I never told my kids not to talk to strangers either but ... I know a lot of parents who do say this to their kids quite often. I'm with you... I had my 5 year olds ordering their own junior meals at the mall.
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