toileting concern for a 7 year old boy

[amyx4]

I watched a friend's 7 yr old son one day this week. When he used the bathroom he got b.m all over everything. The floor, sink, toilet seat, toilet tank, his leg, shorts, shoes, soxes. He did not flush. It appears that he cleaned with a bath towel and then rehung the bath towel with the soiled side towards the wall. Then he went out to play with my kids. When he went by me he didn't stop to ask for help. The bathroom smelled and I figured he just didn't flush. I called him back in and had him shower, I told him he could not go back out to play because I needed to talk to his parent. He wasn't upset that I made him stop playing. He was not sick, he's played here before, we have a good relationship with him, I cannot understand why that amount of b.m. on his body would not have bothered him? His parent said he's never done this before. He does have some other odd behaviors. Does anyone have any suggestions what could cause this and would you stop watching this child?

[Ann-Marita]

Was it diarhea? I could maybe see that having explosive runs might cause or contribute to the poop being everywhere.

[mtiger]

I can see that, too - as well as embarrassment to say anything.

[mistymama]

Diarhea? And maybe he was too embarassed to ask for your help, so he tried to clean up himself and hide the evidence?

I certainly wouldn't be overly concerned or stop watching a kid because of one incident, esp when his parents say he's never done it before. He probably had an accident and didn't know what to do.

[amyx4]

I don't post much so I appreciate the help and advice. I guess what I'm most concerned about it is his response. He showed no emotion. He didn't offer to help clean, he wasn't embaressed, he wasn't upset from being called into play, he didn't have a problem with b.m. on his legs. When I asked him to shower he never asked my why he should shower. He just seems a bit different than other kids.

[ssh]

His nonreaction could have been from embarrassment.

[proudmamanow]

my dd would have been 'non reactive' the way you describe--that's often how she reacts to being really upset or really embarassed, she shuts down & this would be especially true with a stranger. She's sensitive & shy.

[nextcommercial]

I had a daycare boy that had this happen often. He had a mild medical condition, where sometimes, after lunch, he'd have to go NOW. It wasn't diarhhea (i'm not even going to try to spell that right) But, it was loose and big. He'd make a huge mess. The first time, I completely freaked out because it was all over the bathroom. He had to go to kindergarten in less than 20 minutes, and he smelled. But, he just went outside like it was no big deal. He was totally prepared to go to school like that.

I didn't have extra clothes for him, so even if I'd put him in the shower, he didn't have any clothes to wear.

I felt like such a shrew after I got mad. He was so embarrassed. Then, I felt worse, when I realized he'd tried to get the toilet paper off, but I'd just refilled the tp with that giant size charmin that doesn't actually fit very well, so he couldn't get any off, except for tiny little shreds.

Ive never actually recovered from my reaction. I still have that bad feeling every time I think of him.

Anyway... it happens, and younger kids just don't have a good way to clean it up, and they don't really know what to do. It gets on their hands, and the more they try to clean it up the worse it gets. He was probably trying to find something to fix it, but just couldn't.

After I beasted On Jayden for making that mess, I went out that night and bought some of those flushable wipes. I showed them to him, and explained that they would probably dry out, and he could add water to them.

He clogged my toilet with flushable wipes the next time it happend. Poor kid. Just couldn't win.

I doubt he just "didn't care". The embarrasment of having that happen in someone else's house is just horrible. I think he was hoping you wouldn't notice it was him. Just talk to him and tell him that you won't look or touch if he doesn't want... but, next time this happens, he should at least yell out the door for you, and you can bring him a wet rag.

[annettemarie]

Moving to The Childhood Yeras since it's an age-specific question.

[corysmilk]

my almost 7 year old son did this at his foster parents after a long christmas visit with me and my family. He never did it again. I have no idea why he did it. sorry I know that is not very helpful.
I wouldn't stopp caring for him. I know babies do it. but older kids? my oldest had potty issues until he was almost 5. and he had to use wet wipes for years for a bm.

talking to the child about asking for help sounds like a good idea. letting him know that everyone goes # 2 and sometimes children need help. and that you are a person that is willing to help him.

[pianojazzgirl]

I also agree that seeming completely unemotional about it probably stemmed from being very very embarrassed. I remember having embarrassing things happen when I was at someone else's house and I was so totally and utterly mortified (beyond what the situation warranted) that I tried to hide what had happened and probably appeared on the outside to be nonchalant because I didn't know how to talk about it and was trying so hard not to show how I was really feeling.