Should we continue co-sleeping?

[de_luxe]

DS is 17.5 months old, a very spirited toddler, and nurses to sleep for both naps and bedtime. We've tried sleep training couple of times in the past but he threw up the last 2 tries in April and we ditched the plan.

I'm worried as he is due to start daycare (3 days / week) in 2 weeks - what if he wouldn't nap without me or will cry his lungs out? I do not know how to stop nursing to sleep and DH is not gd with dealing with DS when he's screaming his lungs out.

I'm also wondering if we should change our sleeping arrangement. Currently, I put him to bed on a tatami mat in his room and when he wakes up after we go to bed, he joins us in bed. He has a cot and used to sleep in it until we came back from our 6-wk vacation last week. Since we got back, I've not been able to put him down asleep in his cot anymore. I don't know why... maybe he got used to sleeping on the floor (in the Samsonite Pop Up Bubble instead of a caged up looking cot) as that was what he was doing during the vacation?

I don't know if we should convert the cot into a toddler bed - worried that he'll fall out as the bedrail is barely more than 50% of the bed's length. I think he will also attempt to get off the bed when he's in the mood to resist bedtime.

I'm also considering moving his cot/bed into our room instead so that he spends the whole night there instead of our current arrangement as he is taking up more and more space on our bed. I don't know if this will help him to wake / nurse less through the night? He usually wakes up when I'm not next to him... This will also mean that DH and I would have less bedtime privacy - not sure how long we can live with that. I also wonder if this means that we're going to be co-sleeping for the next 3+ years (?!?!) - I didn't even want to co-sleep in the first place!! Will this arrangement deter DS from ever sleeping independently? I pretty much had enough of co-sleeping but if this is the only way we get some decent sleep then I'll do it but I don't know for how long more I can tolerate it!!

If we do decide to stop co-sleeping, how do I convince DS that this is really the better way to sleep?? Anyone had success sleep training at this age??

[rachelsmama]

Every child is different, but most of the kids I know nurse to sleep when mom is around (and know if she is anywhere in the house) and find other ways of settling when she's away, so naps at daycare might turn out to be mostly fine. Also, it might be worth waiting until he's adjusted to daycare before you try to make any other big changes in his life, like changing how you get him to sleep. Trying to change too much too fast could create problems.

You needn't worry about co-sleeping preventing him from ever sleeping independently, most of the babies in the world co-sleep and learn to sleep on their own eventually. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try to find a another arrangement that works for your family, just that he will grow up and become independent whether you do anything about it or not.

[ellegoat]

He might not nap at first at daycare, but he'll adjust quickly, particularly once he sees what the other kids at doing and starts getting into the routine. It might help beforehand to get a copy of the daycare's schedule, so that you can start getting him used to napping at their time. When I first sent my LO to daycare, they also suggested that I bring in my pillowcase or a slept-in shirt to have with her durings naps, so the familiar smell would be comforting.

If the night time routine is working for you, I don't think you need to change it just because he'll be going to daycare. He might find the familiarity of the night routine especially comforting during the first few weeks of daycare.

But, if you are wanting to change it, I think you might find this age more amenable to sleep training than you had before. This was about the age that I stopped nursing to sleep, and then moved her from sleeping in our bed to sleeping in a small crib side car to the bed, and it went more smoothly than I expected.

[IndigoKoi]

I currently have an almost 21 mos VERY spirited son. We have been co-sleeping since the day he was born, and we just recently weaned at 19 mos. He started day care when he was 11 mos when I went back to school for nursing, and at first nap time was a bit difficult, but in about a week, he caught the hang of it. And now he is in a toddler room, and they all take a 2 hour nap after lunch and he has no problem going to sleep on his cot. Even when we were still BF, he was fine, but of course wanted me when I came home. As far as night time- have you tried other means of getting him to sleep besides BF? You could always BF and unlatch before he really falls asleep. I'm sure he'll protest at first, but continue cuddling him and he'll understand that just b/c he's not nursing doesn't mean you're not still there for him and comforting him. That's what I did with my son, and even when we weaned it was b/c i realized he wasn't really drinking milk anymore it was more to check and make sure I was still there. So instead of letting him latch on I started cuddling him and the first night of weaning he decided sticking his hand down my shirt was good enough. And now, he will walk around his crib (or our bed depending on the situation, we don't have a crib right now b/c I broke it) for a while and occasionally stand up and ask me for a hug, and then eventually fall asleep holding my hand or just on his own. No sleep training- and now my child who once woke up every 2 hrs even past a year, now sleeps 9 hrs straight through the night and takes 2-3 hr naps in the afternoon! Sometimes he will sleep in his crib all night, sometimes it will be in our bed all night, and sometimes it's half and half. I think you just need to figure out the cause of his feeling like he needs you all the time, and address that (he misses you, he's scared, he's jealous etc) and you will be able to find a solution that works for you and your family Good luck! And sorry for my post if it sounds all over the place- I need a nap too!