Does anyone else babysit and homeschool?

[Grace and Granola]

By babysitting I mean provide childcare for one or more children other than your own.

I was hoping to start getting my feet wet with homeschooling this summer, my oldest is almost 5 and youngest is 3.5. I am not in a rush, but I did sort of want to make this a time of trying different routines and then being more sure of myself come fall. plus it's a great time for field trips and getting out. However, I am babysitting a 6yo and 3yo. I am finding it very difficult, not so much because of the number of kids, but because two of them are not mine. I just don't feel invested in their educations like I do my kids. Plus, they are totally not into learning like my kids are. They would rather watch tv and play barbies (which is fine). The 6yo just came out of Kindy, so she is constantly wanting me to entertain her. What's next? What are we going to do now? I'm BORED!!!!! But when I do try to read or otherwise engage in an activity or even just allow for free play time, the 6yo is constantly whining she's bored or asking off topic questions, or trying to "show off" at every turn...like LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!

So when they are getting distracted or asking a ton of questions off topic, I get more frustrated rather than wanting to reel them in. Plus they tend to take my kids with them when they get silly and distracted. I hope all this makes sense. If my kids are getting distracted or seem disinterested, I use that as a tool to help me learn about their learning style, I try to think of ways to get them interested based on that fact that I KNOW them and what they like. But these other kids, I really love them, but I don't KNOW them like I know my kids, and since the 6yo is going off to PS in the fall, I just don't care as much about engaging her in our teaching if she doesn't care. I feel horrible about my feelings, plus it's pretty much de-railing my hs efforts.

In the fall I will only have the 3yo girl. She is a month younger than my younger son. But developmentally more like a 2yo. I know she won't be as interested, but I think I'm ok with that because she's so young. It will just be like having a younger child not ready for school.

Please share your tales of juggling your kids with your childcare kids. Eoyou include your babysat kids in the learning? Help me change my feelings about these other kids. Should I just wait until fall to avoid the drama of the 6yo?

[AAK]

I do. But only on Wednesdays. It works really well for me because my littlest plays with the two girls that I watch while I work with my older kids. They play really well together. I have no problem keeping an eye on them while I work with the others, but I am not the "entertainment" either. I do think it would be harder if it was daily, but def doable with one or two extras that blend well with your family.

On the days that no one is playing well together, I will set up "stations" for everyone. I have been watching the girls for about a year now. The youngest just turned 3 in May, so she was two for most of the 'school year' this year. This year the older one will be in 1/2 day kindergarten. It will be a different schedule all around actually, but I still have faith that it will work.

I don't think it would work with a high needs child, a child that is always into everything, or if my kids didn't get along with the others. But, for me (since it is only one day a week) I would probably adjust our homeschooling schedule to accomodate that. Put more "independent" work on Wednesday or stuff that would be group oriented and include the others--like art, science experiments, etc.

ETA: Just read the rest of your post. Maybe the 6 yr old would respond better to a posted schedule? Use pictures next to a clock. Outdoor play (show a slide) at 9:00, Reading (show a book) at 10:00, Snack (apple) at 10:30. Etc. She probably doesn't tell time yet, but seeing the list of what to expect and creating a routine might help her. Include a time for working on school stuff if you want to do school over the summer. You might also label that as Barbie time for her.


Amy

[Grace and Granola]

Thanks Amy. I have a posted schedule and she LOVED that I did that. The problem comes when it's something she doesn't enjoy. Like outside time. I cannot keep her outside for more than 10 minutes. And she's starting to teach my kids to whine to come in. I guess that is the root of alot of my frustration. Where my kids have been very easygoing in a lot of ways, she is teaching them to be discontent doing things they previously loved, like Reading, drawing, free play, outside time. Anything that doesn't involve me being directly in control of the activity. She just sinks the whole ship. Kindy seems to have trained her to need external motivation and she has no idea what to do when it's time to be self-directed, even in play. So, where if one of my kids didn't know what to do outside, I would consider the child and come up with something I know he'd like. But this girl just complains and whines about being bored and since I have two boys, I don't quite know what would inspire a girl to be creative outside, nothing I've tried seems to cut it. And that's just one area. She just wants ME to be her entertainer all.day.long. And this is 5 days a week

I guess my main concern is this...if I start "schooly" stuff this summer, I'm afraid the 6yo is going to teach my kids how to be whiny, discontent, distracted. Maybe I should just let go of the hs stuff for the summer and pick up when she's off to school.

[SundayCrepes]

Originally Posted by Grace and Granola

I guess my main concern is this...if I start "schooly" stuff this summer, I'm afraid the 6yo is going to teach my kids how to be whiny, discontent, distracted. Maybe I should just let go of the hs stuff for the summer and pick up when she's off to school.

I'd be really upset/discouraged if a child taught my kids to be bored, etc. Really if I were you, I would limit what you do with the kids while you have this girl. Don't let her teach them to be whiners. Do what you can to keep her from teaching your kids undesirable attitudes.

[AAK]

Actually, when my kids were in ps, we had a heck of a time with the first couple weeks of summer--they whined and were bored all the time. It was like they forgot how to play independently. I stopped responding to the whining and told them that being bored was good for them. It went away.

Amy

[Tjej]

This sounds awful, but it really wasn't cruel, I promise. I would lock the door to the house when we were playing in the backyard when I was taking care of a 5yo that would do what you are saying - whine and be done with playing outside after 10 minutes. Otherwise I would have had to stand by the door and block him out and I wasn't going to do THAT.

What I did was offer 1-2 ideas of things I knew he did like at least a tiny bit - and tell him otherwise he could think of something. He'd say he was bored too, but then 5 minutes later he'd have figured out something to do with a stick or digging in the mud or a car or his bike or whatever.

Don't engage in the conversation about going in -be deaf to the whining. It is amazing how quickly it stops if you tell them that you aren't going to talk about it anymore and you really don't!

It got better with time here. It is hard to have your kids learn words and behavior patterns from others that are not desirable. I tried my best to take it as a learning experience for all of us - the kids learned that those behaviors were not acceptable.

Tjej

ETA: It also got a lot better for me when we did it less often. I had more energy/desire to plan a bit. Since you're doing this every day it really means you'll need to plan stuff out the night before in order to stay on top of it (or at least I had to).

[phathui5]

I had a home daycare for three years and homeschooled my own children at the same time. My children are now 9, 6, 4, and almost 3.

What worked for my was making the "extra" kids a part of our crew. We included them in everything, took them to the zoo, took them to gymnastics with us, went to classes at the science center... I provided part-time childcare for the ones that needed it, wore the babies that came in the sling or pouch, used their cloth diapers, etc. I filled a niche that was missing in our community.

For our kids, they enjoyed having the other kids around every week. The toys that they weren't willing or able to share with the extras, they had to put away when they were over, which wasn't often. James, my 4yo, still talks about the kids we watched and how much he loves them. One of the mom sends me cards on holidays and I get email pictures from a couple of families.

Doing childcare worked for me because they became like extended family.

[Grace and Granola]

Originally Posted by phathui5

I had a home daycare for three years and homeschooled my own children at the same time. My children are now 9, 6, 4, and almost 3.

What worked for my was making the "extra" kids a part of our crew. We included them in everything, took them to the zoo, took them to gymnastics with us, went to classes at the science center... I provided part-time childcare for the ones that needed it, wore the babies that came in the sling or pouch, used their cloth diapers, etc. I filled a niche that was missing in our community.

For our kids, they enjoyed having the other kids around every week. The toys that they weren't willing or able to share with the extras, they had to put away when they were over, which wasn't often. James, my 4yo, still talks about the kids we watched and how much he loves them. One of the mom sends me cards on holidays and I get email pictures from a couple of families.

Doing childcare worked for me because they became like extended family.

This is encouraging and inspiring! It was what I have intended to do. I just didn't expect to be met with resistance. I imagine enthusiastic children thrilled with everything I planned out! HA! I just need to re-evaluate and try again.

[ikesmom]

When I was younger I worked for a preschool program for high school parents who wanted to finish their education. We had various issues involving the parents, babies/toddlers, and caregivers that sometimes made it difficult. The director of the program would consul us on how to work with the problem or ideas on improving ourselves and our mindset about things. She wanted the center to be a positive place where everyone would feel they had a place and a purpose to fill.

Her advice to me was often that the difficult situation was an opportunity for me to change and or learn from. She was very spiritual and would often pray for me to find an answer.

I got to the point where I would willingly ask for the most challenging child or parent. I can't tell you how frustrating those experiences were at times..esp in dealing with the teens and their parents who were trying to teach them to take care of everything. I had to keep shifting my view and asking for opinions from people I knew could help me. There were times when things did not work out for those involved...but they showed the others around us how something was approached or dealt with and sometimes paved a way for other things.

I think that you have the opportunity to work with these little kids in your own way and home. You already know that they are experiencing play and learning in a different way, but you might be able to shine through some of the murky parts of that. I wouldn't expect them to do everything the same way as another child/ren. If you are not able to change some of the behaviors they will still benefit from the patience and effort you are giving to them..a chance.

I would also make sure to discuss certain behaviors/actions with the other children when they come up so they know that there is a another or better way to look at something ..try to make the problem a learning experience where you can talk about it.

I am thinking of doing childcare myself. The kids are 8 and 4 and their mom is going through a divorce. The oldest needs after school homework help and the 4 yr old is in a special needs preschool in the next town. I would have to drive to their house and stay till the evening hours till the mom gets home from work. I think it is an opportunity to help the mom , teach the kids, make a little money and keep my kids with me the whole time.

Keep us posted!