Is this a bad idea?

[mom61508]

Latley DD has been taking forever to go down for a nap(she's 2) I mean It takes me about 1 hour and then she will only sleep for an hour

So the past couple days I will read her 2 books, then we snuggle or rock then I tell her to close her eyes and go to sleep. I will lay with her for a little while but she becomes so restless and IS_ALL_OVER_THE_PLACE so I tell her I'm gong to go in the living room for a few and she's needs to go to sleep. She's fine for a little while then starts crying so I go back in and tell her she needs to sleep, she's tired then I leave again. She doesn't like that one to much will start crying even more but will fall asleep within 10 minutes. Am I hurting her by doing this???
I just literally go nuts trying to put her down for an hour and end up getting angry with her.

[Super~Single~Mama]

If you aren't comfortable with it, then don't do it. That said, here's what I do.

My son is 17mo (almost 18mo), and when he does that, I put him in his pack n play and sit nearby (he can see me) and start reading a book. WHen he calls me I say, "DS I love you very much, and its time for night night. Can you give your bee a night night kiss and lay down to sleep?" Before bed we sometimes read books, and one of them has a sleeping baby at the end. When we get to that baby, I say, "Look! This baby is very tired, and he laid down and went night night! DS is about to lay down to go night night too - its been a long day" Or something like that. The pack n play is key for us, since it contains him to bed, and he can have his stuffed animals in it. Me being within sight makes it easier on him, although I have left the room on occasion to brush my teeth and come back to a sleeping toddler.

[EzzysMom]

Depending on how she's doing I'd try skipping a nap or give yourself a definite 'give up' time limit (20/30 min) and try again later. I myself have definitely had to take a 'time out' while trying to get my daughter down for a nap so I can cool off. I also tell her 'you don't have to sleep, but it is quiet time, you have to stay in bed and be quiet.' That helped get through some rough times. But she definitely went a few weeks without napping and now seems to need it again so we're back. I also try to play dead while holding her hand if she cries and thinking in my head 'she's tired, this is her problem. She needs a nap'.

[Dreamy]

These days I find DS is restless if I stay beside him in bed, so once he's good and tired I tell him it's time for dodo, then I get up and sit across the room on the futon frame. He accepts this and usually goes to sleep in 2-5 minutes. If I leave the room though he gets hysterical, so I don't do that.

[mom61508]

Originally Posted by EzzysMom

Depending on how she's doing I'd try skipping a nap or give yourself a definite 'give up' time limit (20/30 min) and try again later. I myself have definitely had to take a 'time out' while trying to get my daughter down for a nap so I can cool off. I also tell her 'you don't have to sleep, but it is quiet time, you have to stay in bed and be quiet.' That helped get through some rough times. But she definitely went a few weeks without napping and now seems to need it again so we're back. I also try to play dead while holding her hand if she cries and thinking in my head 'she's tired, this is her problem. She needs a nap'.

Yes somedays there isn't a nap so I kind of play it be ear. lol to the play dead thing, I *try* this with DD but it doesn't help!

Thyra-I mostly confortable with it but then I start thinking what If I'm traumatizing her ya know? She's has to know I'm not going anywhere I've just always been there till she falls asleep so this is different for her. Thanks for the support ladies it's always so reassuring!

[spmamma]

Before DS was born, I'd sit in a chair in her room and read a book while she put herself to sleep. At that age, laying next to her was almost too stimulating. But she still *needed* me to be there with her, so sitting in the chair helped.

DS was born when DD was 28 MO. For a while I was still able to do the sit in a chair routine, but soon DS started waking up more so we had to change up our routine a bit. Since I'm the only one at home, I had to do our bedtime routine then leave her in her room by herself to put herself to sleep. It was really hard the first week for both of us (we never did CIO) but she made it and now she puts herself to sleep for naps during the week. DH sits with her on weekend days and at night while I put DS to sleep in our bed.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by mom61508

Yes somedays there isn't a nap so I kind of play it be ear. lol to the play dead thing, I *try* this with DD but it doesn't help!

Thyra-I mostly confortable with it but then I start thinking what If I'm traumatizing her ya know? She's has to know I'm not going anywhere I've just always been there till she falls asleep so this is different for her. Thanks for the support ladies it's always so reassuring!

You aren't going to traumatize her! Do you stay in the same room? I really think the key for us is that DS is in his pack n play alone, and I'm sitting 5-10 feet away at the table reading my book. She's 2 years, not 2 weeks! Even if you go to another room, if she can hear you, and knows your there, she will be ok. (OK, so maybe thats not a very AP thing for me to say, but there is definitely a difference between a 2yo and a 2 wo or even a 2mo - a 2 yo has a much more developed sense of "Mom is not going to leave me alone forever, she never has before and she won't now b/c she's telling me she'll be back in a few minutes. Whats a few minutes? Oh well, sleepy time....zzzzzzz")

[elleystar]

What time are you doing naptime?

My DS (26 mo) was acting like that too for a month or so this spring. We were doing nap at about 1 pm. It would take an hour or more to get him to sleep and it would be a huge fight, with him restless and tossing and flailing all over the place. We'd both end up sooo angry at each other!

Well one day I decided to put him down as soon as I saw he was tired. At 11:30 am I saw tired signs so I gave it a shot, and behold, he was asleep within 5 minutes! No fighting at all, just a fast and easy drift off. Now I have altered our schedule some so that I have gotten him to eat his lunch (if he wants it) by 11:30 and then to bed we go. No more tears and anger, and he wakes up after 1.5 hours like clockwork, actually refreshed.

[mamadelbosque]

DS1 will take an hour to goto sleep w/ us beside him tossing and turning and yanking our hair. Or we can leave, and he maybe whines for 5 or 10 minutes and is out. I read 3 or 4 stories before nap and 3 or 4 stories before bed, turn on his nightlight, give'm a kiss and say 'goodnight' and he's asleep w/in 10-15 mins usually if not virtually instantly. Totally not worth it to lay w/ him for an hour, IMO

[Lilygoose]

Sometimes my DD (20 months) can be a challenge to get down for her nap or bed, also. She's sleeps in her toddler bed (in our room), so she can (and does) get up. After a couple of hour plus long sessions I knew I couldn't continue that way. We haven't done anything yet to prepare her for going to sleep by herself, so I am not comfortable just leaving her alone yet (plus anytime I have had to run out of the room for even a second she just gets up and stands at the babygate yelling or crying). But, i found my presence was really too stimulating for her at this point and was contributing to her not going to sleep. What i did was first changed my expectations of how long it will take her to go to sleep. I try to find that place internally where I don't think about time or expectations and just try to exist in the moment. It sounds really weird, but this really helps me stay calm and have more patience. After i read a couple of stories with her and hugs and kisses i tell her she needs to lay down and i try my best from that point to engage with her as little as possible (sometimes she'll ask for extra kisses and I might indulge her a little cause how do you ignore that . I stay in the room, but i don't talk to her and try to avoid eye contact. Sometimes I'll lay down on the floor. If she gets up I warn her the first time, but after that I calmly and gently lay her back down without saying anything to her. After a few times of this routine she has reallly improved and is usually asleep now within 15-30 minutes with minimal struggle. I also agree with pp who suggested moving her naptime up. My DD lays down right after lunch (11:30 ish) and if we run late and its after that she has a much harder time going down b/c she's overtired.

[MamaPhD]

I don't know if your toddler is too old for these, but how about introducing a lovey or a routine that is comforting for her? I got my DD a lovey around 8 months old and she HAS to have it to sleep! Also she loves sleeping with books as she flips through them to help her fall asleep (usually 4-5 books in the crib with her at any time) even though she can't read yet (19 months old). Also she needs a milk sippy for bedtime, even after a huge dinner right before. It has to be a specific sippy cup, too. So with lovey, books, and sippy, she is all set to fall asleep alone with no prob and has been doing that since around 1 year old.

[Catherine12]

My ds (now 4) starting behaving similarly at around 18 months. I got so tired of struggling to get him to nap I decided to try not having him nap at all - instead, he had some quiet play time with his older sister in their room, so I still got a bit of a "break" and a chance to do non-kid friendly chores like mopping the floors. I thought it was too early for him to drop his nap, but it turned out to work well for him, and it was less stressful for me as well. He also started going to bed much better after he stopped napping.

[kimmypoo]

Originally Posted by MamaPhD

Also she loves sleeping with books as she flips through them to help her fall asleep (usually 4-5 books in the crib with her at any time) even though she can't read yet (19 months old).

For dd's nap today, I gave her two books to look through. I heard her "reading" to herself for a few minutes and then she was out.
LOL

[liliaceae]

How does she do without a nap? You might be able to skip it entirely. Have you tried putting her down earlier or later? When DS was that age we had the same problem, however I cheated and just drove him around and he napped in the car.

[peaceful_mama]

DS is 19 mo.

If he's not settling down and relaxed within about 10 mins, it's pretty much not happening right then for him. (in fact he will typically just pop up and walk out of the room.)

I basically just wait, do something else for awhile and he comes back to me ready to go 'night night'

Does the nap make her stay up a lot later? It's possible she doesn't need one every day anymore. My kids started phasing out naps during the 2nd year...it did start gradually though with some days including a nap and some not, maybe every other for awhile and then down to a few days a week and then rare and none.

[mom61508]

Originally Posted by thyra

You aren't going to traumatize her! Do you stay in the same room? I really think the key for us is that DS is in his pack n play alone, and I'm sitting 5-10 feet away at the table reading my book. She's 2 years, not 2 weeks! Even if you go to another room, if she can hear you, and knows your there, she will be ok. (OK, so maybe thats not a very AP thing for me to say, but there is definitely a difference between a 2yo and a 2 wo or even a 2mo - a 2 yo has a much more developed sense of "Mom is not going to leave me alone forever, she never has before and she won't now b/c she's telling me she'll be back in a few minutes. Whats a few minutes? Oh well, sleepy time....zzzzzzz")

You're right 2 years old and 2 mo are totally different. I've always come back. No, I don't stay in the room but am right next to the bedroom.

Originally Posted by elleystar

What time are you doing naptime?

My DS (26 mo) was acting like that too for a month or so this spring. We were doing nap at about 1 pm. It would take an hour or more to get him to sleep and it would be a huge fight, with him restless and tossing and flailing all over the place. We'd both end up sooo angry at each other!

Well one day I decided to put him down as soon as I saw he was tired. At 11:30 am I saw tired signs so I gave it a shot, and behold, he was asleep within 5 minutes! No fighting at all, just a fast and easy drift off. Now I have altered our schedule some so that I have gotten him to eat his lunch (if he wants it) by 11:30 and then to bed we go. No more tears and anger, and he wakes up after 1.5 hours like clockwork, actually refreshed.

her nap time varies. We have a crazy schedule when DH is home so I kind of base her nap time around what time she wakes up and tired signs. Starting in October we will be able to get back to a "normal" schedule.

Originally Posted by MamaPhD

I don't know if your toddler is too old for these, but how about introducing a lovey or a routine that is comforting for her? I got my DD a lovey around 8 months old and she HAS to have it to sleep! Also she loves sleeping with books as she flips through them to help her fall asleep (usually 4-5 books in the crib with her at any time) even though she can't read yet (19 months old). Also she needs a milk sippy for bedtime, even after a huge dinner right before. It has to be a specific sippy cup, too. So with lovey, books, and sippy, she is all set to fall asleep alone with no prob and has been doing that since around 1 year old.

I have thought of this one makes good ones? She does have a blanket she sleeps with but she doesn't seem attached to it ya know.

Originally Posted by kimmypoo

For dd's nap today, I gave her two books to look through. I heard her "reading" to herself for a few minutes and then she was out.
LOL

this is cute. DD did this today when I left her in the room today. Lately her new thing is once I leave the room she thinks it's playtime, yelling,jumping on bed, getting off bed and exploring the room

Originally Posted by peaceful_mama

DS is 19 mo.

If he's not settling down and relaxed within about 10 mins, it's pretty much not happening right then for him. (in fact he will typically just pop up and walk out of the room.)I basically just wait, do something else for awhile and he comes back to me ready to go 'night night'
Does the nap make her stay up a lot later? It's possible she doesn't need one every day anymore. My kids started phasing out naps during the 2nd year...it did start gradually though with some days including a nap and some not, maybe every other for awhile and then down to a few days a week and then rare and none.

sometimes she doesn't get a nap but rarely. When DH is home we get to bed very late(otherwise she wouldn't see much of him)so she absolutely has to have a nap. When he's gone I may be a bit more lenient with naps because she will go to bed earlier. But If she doesn't get a nap and I put her down at 8pm she will fall asleep VERY quickly. It's basically the very late bedtimes that are messing with the sleep thing. Thanks again mommas!

[swd12422]

I lie down with DS for naptime. He plays a little, and if he gets too active/loud, I tell him it's quiet time and he needs to settle down and go to sleep. If it gets too frustrating, I tell him I'm going to have to leave b/c he's disturbing MY nap, and that usually gets him to quiet down b/c he wants me to stay! Several times a week, I'll crash while he's still awake, and then I'll wake up a half hour or hour later and he'll be sound asleep and I can tiptoe out.