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CI Surgery.

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
Well today was activation date and still no response
I had a feeling before the surgery things wouldn't go well and I wanted to cancel it but my husband insisted we do the surgery. And now it was all for nothing. I feel like a horrible mom
post #2 of 17
Not a horrible mom at all!
post #3 of 17
Please educate me so I can understand what you are going through
post #4 of 17
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by by-the-lake View Post
Please educate me so I can understand what you are going through
My daughter got bilateral cochlear implants a month ago because she is profoundly deaf and they were positive they would work for her. Today was the day they turned them on and they do not work. Her hearing nerve has no response and therefore the surgery was for nothing.
post #5 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by hdirks View Post
My daughter got bilateral cochlear implants a month ago because she is profoundly deaf and they were positive they would work for her. Today was the day they turned them on and they do not work. Her hearing nerve has no response and therefore the surgery was for nothing.
Listen to me...the surgery was NOT for nothing. You took a chance to give your daughter access to sound, and possibly to spoken language. It would have been a wonderful thing for her. I feel horrible for you and her that it didn't work. But you had to take the chance, or you'd have never known. You'd have lived the rest of your life wondering...playing the "what if" games. None of us want to put our children through pain for no gain, but you had no way of knowing if she'd have no gain, little gain, or wonderful gain. You tried to give her a wonderful thing. It is not your fault that it didn't work. It's not the dr's fault. She just falls into the small percentage that don't benefit from it. There are no what ifs now, no second guessing.

I'm so so sorry. I can only imagine your heartache. Take some time to let this process. YOu have to grieve her deafness all over again. Once you have allowed yourself to grieve for what you have lost (again), then pick yourself up and work on another game plan. Is ASL the way to go now? Signed Exact English? Lip reading? Educate yourself, pick the one that suits you best, and change your focus to that now.

Take the time...and please forgive yourself. BIG hugs!!!!!
post #6 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2boyzmama View Post
Listen to me...the surgery was NOT for nothing. You took a chance to give your daughter access to sound, and possibly to spoken language. It would have been a wonderful thing for her. I feel horrible for you and her that it didn't work. But you had to take the chance, or you'd have never known. You'd have lived the rest of your life wondering...playing the "what if" games. None of us want to put our children through pain for no gain, but you had no way of knowing if she'd have no gain, little gain, or wonderful gain. You tried to give her a wonderful thing. It is not your fault that it didn't work. It's not the dr's fault. She just falls into the small percentage that don't benefit from it. There are no what ifs now, no second guessing.

I'm so so sorry. I can only imagine your heartache. Take some time to let this process. YOu have to grieve her deafness all over again. Once you have allowed yourself to grieve for what you have lost (again), then pick yourself up and work on another game plan. Is ASL the way to go now? Signed Exact English? Lip reading? Educate yourself, pick the one that suits you best, and change your focus to that now.

Take the time...and please forgive yourself. BIG hugs!!!!!
I agree 100%

Mama, you have to try. It's a crapshoot for our kids, it really is.

Go easy on yourself.

post #7 of 17
Thread Starter 
Thank you. I needed to hear this. I know it is not my fault or my husband's or the drs. It is just so frustrating! This is the 3rd time we've had to deal with this let down. first when she was born, then when her hearing aids didn't work, and now. It wouldn't be so frustrating if she didn't have so many other problems as well. I was really hoping this one could be helped

The funny thing is before my daughter was even born I took ASL classes in college. And now we are continuing to learn. I guess all things really do have a reasoning
post #8 of 17
Thank you for explaining it. I am sorry
post #9 of 17
I'm sorry it didn't work.
post #10 of 17
post #11 of 17
Can you be more specific? Was there no NRE responses at all? Did the audio go ahead and MAP the implants?

If there was just no visable response, that is NORMAL!!! It can take up to 3 months for kids to respond to sound!!!
post #12 of 17
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by fairejour View Post
Can you be more specific? Was there no NRE responses at all? Did the audio go ahead and MAP the implants?

If there was just no visable response, that is NORMAL!!! It can take up to 3 months for kids to respond to sound!!!
The audiologists mapped them still but that was no NRE responses at all. No visable responses either but I know that is normal. We saw EP last and they said she got absolutely no response from either nerve.
post #13 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by hdirks View Post
The audiologists mapped them still but that was no NRE responses at all. No visable responses either but I know that is normal. We saw EP last and they said she got absolutely no response from either nerve.
EP?

I know several kids that do not have NRE's but still get benefit from their CI's (don't know how much benefit, but clearly some). Is there a question about whether or not she had auditory nerves? If the nerves are there, even if they are weak or damaged she will get some benefit.

It is all about expectations. Maybe she won't have access to spoken language, but will be ale to hear a car in the road. That is a HUGE benefit for a profoundly deaf child. Maybe she will be able to here you clap or yell so she will turn and youcan sign to her. That is a HUGE benefit (coming from someone who's child lost that ability and we implanted her just to get it back )

The surgery was not a waste. There is still a possiblity that she will receive lots of benefit, and even if she doesn't, when she grows up you can look her in the eyes and tell her that you tried everything you could to make sure that she had what she needed in life.

I would tell you not to give up on the implants yet, leave them on, continue MAPing them, etc, but starting finding another way to communicate since she may not be able to access spoken language.
post #14 of 17
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by fairejour View Post
EP?

I know several kids that do not have NRE's but still get benefit from their CI's (don't know how much benefit, but clearly some). Is there a question about whether or not she had auditory nerves? If the nerves are there, even if they are weak or damaged she will get some benefit.
EP- Electrophysio.

After her surgery one of the residents said it may be because there is no auditory nerves but they didn't know. Her CT looked fine but he said that that nerve and the facial nerve run so close together sometimes one sits behind the other and you cannot see it. So I guess we don't really know.
post #15 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by hdirks View Post
EP- Electrophysio.

After her surgery one of the residents said it may be because there is no auditory nerves but they didn't know. Her CT looked fine but he said that that nerve and the facial nerve run so close together sometimes one sits behind the other and you cannot see it. So I guess we don't really know.
Post on CICircle. That's where I learned that some kids don't have NRE's. There are 2000 parents on there, someone will know!
post #16 of 17
I am sorry.
post #17 of 17
How frustrating! I really know how you feel. I've made those decisions as well, and I still worry, sometimes, about whether or not we did the right thing. (Today's surgery for my dd is one of those for me -- a revision of a surgery that was a "maybe.") But the thing is, all we can do is put one foot in front of the other, right? Do that next logical step. Stasis isn't really an option most of the time, ya know?

You did what you needed to do. Maybe it will surprise you and have some benefit. Maybe not. But there shouldn't be guilt for you attached to those decisions. Many hugs to you.
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