How do you keep your momentum going in the summertime?

[limabean]

When DS was in school we had a natural rhythm to our day, but I'm having a hard time adjusting to summer. On days when I get up early, shower, and have lots of stuff planned for us, things go fine, but it's not realistic (for me anyway) to be that together every. single. day.

Two days ago, for example, we did crafts, games, water play, walks to the park, baking, etc. and of course the day was fantastic. Yesterday we went to Disneyland and of course the day was fantastic. But I'm feeling like a cruise director -- I have to have our schedule jam-packed with activities to avoid meltdowns.

Any time we're just chilling out at home, the kids are at each other's throats, fighting over toys, doing bizarre stuff they've never done before (like today when I caught DS throwing rocks at the window ). And it didn't used to be like this. Before DS started kindergarten, we spent lots of time just hanging at home and it never felt like this. Is he just so used to the constant activity of school that it's hard for him to adjust to less?

I don't like being on the go all the time, and consciously stayed away from that lifestyle when my kids were littler. But my kids seem to be clamoring for moremoremore. What do I do? Resign myself to 3 months of constant activity (and somehow find the energy to deliver) or go back to the basics and hope they adjust their expectations?

[joycenjackiesmom]

I find myself with some of the same issues during the summer. I try to find inexpensive activities that both enjoy (at 7 and 11 this is getting more and more difficult.) We go to a local lake with a swim beach several times each week. I also find that having friends over to play helps with the arguing between my own children and allows my girls to be more independent (especially the younger one). I also limit the daily activities to one or two things daily so I'm not wearing myself out or setting the expectation that I will direct activites from sun-up to sun-down.

[crunchy_mommy]

My DS is young (17mos) but we have the same issues regardless of summertime -- he's just not happy at home for long, he gets a little stir-crazy, and maybe craves the structure? So I usually have an activity every morning. Often it's meetups with friends etc. but I have a few default/fallback activities for days when I don't want to 'plan' something... things like library, zoo, playground... we make sure to get out of the house 9 days out of 10 (and the stay-at-home days are 'reading' days, DS loves to be read to for hours). The afternoons are generally more unstructured & DS will take a 1-2 hour nap to break up that long stretch... between that & lunch/snacks/etc. we don't end up with a whole lot of unstructured time though.

If getting out of the house every day just isn't your thing, what about some kind of schedule/routine -- if not for the whole day, at least for the morning (or the afternoon if that's when it's more needed)... You wouldn't even necessarily need to be that involved in it, just post it somewhere where your DS can see it, make it fun & colorful, and if he can't read time yet, use a timer to help him know when to switch activities? I've never been in favor of structure but I do sense some kids just need it, at least for part of the day...

[Hoopin' Mama]

Are there any 1/2-day summer camps available in your area?
There are a variety here. Some are outrageously expensive, others are very reasonable.

[limabean]

Thanks for the replies.

We typically have some sort of outing in the morning (library, park, walk around the neighborhood, beach, visit a friend, etc.), then come home for lunch and DD's nap, then the afternoons is when things fall apart. DD usually wakes up around 3 (or, like yesterday, doesn't nap at all, which is probably why I was frustrated enough to start this thread) and DH gets home at 5, so I think part of me is just kind of waiting for him to get home instead of keeping the kids entertained until his arrival.

I have this weird thing I call "finish line syndrome" -- I noticed it in a literal sense when I ran cross-country in college and realized that I would feel fine running along the race course, but once the finish line was in sight I felt like I was going to collapse. Then I noticed that I'm the same way in normal life situations, so when I know my DH will be home soon it's like I shut down and everything feels way harder than it should.

Anyway, I definitely need a different plan for that part of the day, but it's hard because I'm tired (from cruise directing all morning/early afternoon ) and it's too hot to go outside. And with the kids' age difference (they're 5 and 2), things like board games just cause frustration for the little one, which has a domino effect on DS and me. A few times we've had a picnic upstairs, where we spread out a blanket on the floor and have our afternoon snack up there, and that's gone fairly well (for a little while anyway). I like it because I can pretty much just sit there and rest but they feel like we're doing something special. I guess I'll just need to get creative during that period of the day.

Any suggestions for inside-the-house, low-energy (for me) stuff that a 5 and 2 year old would both enjoy?

[mbhf]

I have sort of the same issue, though it's not new with my oldest being in school last year. I found that getting out first thing in the morning was very important, but we don't have to stay out all day. We've been going to the playground in the morning for an hour or so and then coming home (or not, sometimes we go out) and it's been great. For us, it's all that's needed. Our days go so much more smoothly when we have something to do when we wake up. I tnever thought I would say I love getting up early and getting everyone dressed and ready to go right away but I really do. It was actually a really hard transition for my when my oldest started school, but then I realized I really liked the structure. We're homeschooling next year but I am going to keep the getting up going out thing going.

ETA- I hit reply to this before you updated. My reply doesn't make much sense after that, sorry!

[newbymom05]

I have the same problem, and my 5 y/o was only in 3x a week 1/2 day preschool! I dread how he'll want to be entertained once he attends full-time kindy. Also like you, mornings are easy b/c *I* have the energy, but afternoons I really just want to stay home in the a/c.

RE: activities, both my boys like to play with their "men", ie Playmobile sets, but that usually only lasts until the 2 y/o decides he only wants to play with the things the 5 y/o has. We've had some success with Playdoh, but the mess kind of makes me nuts. Sprinkler/hose time sometimes works, esp if I give them a project like washing their Little Tykes car. Of course that means everyone must have the exact same tools, ie 2 sponges, 2 buckets of water, etc.

I gotta admit, around 4 o'clock is when I'm spent and the tv goes on until Daddy gets home.

[VisionaryMom]

I usually use those times for drawing/coloring, etc. I also bought flashcards because DS loves them. Our sitter found a huge collection of stamps at Goodwill for $2, so she picked those up for the kids. I've been surprised, but they've both gotten hours of enjoyment out of them.

[limabean]

Originally Posted by VisionaryMom

I usually use those times for drawing/coloring, etc. I also bought flashcards because DS loves them. Our sitter found a huge collection of stamps at Goodwill for $2, so she picked those up for the kids. I've been surprised, but they've both gotten hours of enjoyment out of them.

Those are good ideas. Both my kids like to color, but DD needs 100% supervision while she colors because she tends to draw on the floor and furniture more than her paper. But it could work if I sat right next to them.

I did buy several craft kits (suncatchers, models to build and paint, latch hook kits, etc.) at Joanne's for $5 and under and have been doling one out every few days, but they're all just for DS to use while DD naps -- I didn't see anything suitable for DD. Maybe I'll break out the foamie shapes and glue one of these days and let them make collages or something. They played dress-up happily for almost an hour yesterday. We have a zillion popsicle sticks and pipe cleaners too -- I'm sure they could find something to do with those. Although somehow most everything we do around that time of day devolves into crying fits because even if there are 75 identical popsicle sticks on the floor in front of them, they both want the same one. *sigh* Anyway, yeah, I guess arts-and-crafts time is the best thing to do at that time of day. I guess I just want some magical activity that requires no set-up/help from me and will keep them happy for 2 hours while I veg out.

[crunchy_mommy]

I know what you mean, the last hour or two of the afternoon really drags on for me, I'm just *done*.... If DS takes an early or short nap, I usually do another short afternoon outing or run errands. Also a good time to grocery shop because DH can help carry the bags in when you get home if you time it right!

What about preparing dinner together? Maybe the 2yo could wash the veggies and the 5yo could help with the more skilled tasks...

Arts & crafts could be good, simpler versions for the 2yo. Could also play 'rock band' -- turn on a CD or sing favorite songs and play instruments... Hmm you could even think of the afternoon like school/camp: 1/2 hour for music, 1/2 hour for arts/crafts/coloring, 1/2 hour for 'gym' (playing in the yard or jumping on the bed etc.), 1/2 hour for 'reading' (story time), 1 hour for 'home ec' (dinner prep) etc... or alternate days, depending on their attention span, Mondays is music, Tuesdays is art, etc. (Just thinking that maybe having a focus to each day or each hour or whatever might help!)

[mbhf]

Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy

What about preparing dinner together? Maybe the 2yo could wash the veggies and the 5yo could help with the more skilled tasks...

This is my thought too. My dh is not home until after bedtime so we eat early, like 4pm usually. Making dinner in the afternoon works out very well for us. When my dh was sometimes home for dinner I would do dinner prep around 2 or 3 and then reheat right before he got home, or if it was something that took a while to cook I would just get it ready to go in the oven and then stick it in an hour (or however long) before dinner. This helped me a lot with my pre-dinner rush but it also gave us something to do in the late afternoon.

[2cutiekitties]

My go to for when I am tired is to lay on DS's (3) bed and we line up all the matchbox cars and then I take another car and make it talk to all the other cars and he loves this and depending on how creative I am with voices and stuff he can last for an hour. Lots of times I will take a police car and then arrest other cars....lots of times we race. We take the cars from Cars and do a lot of stuff from that. Meanwhile my head is on the pillow the whole time

[phathui5]

Is he just so used to the constant activity of school that it's hard for him to adjust to less?

It could be. I really think that school teaches kids to not know how to handle free time. It's like reason #4,859 that we homeschool. Our friends with kids in school are all stressed when the kids are home. We don't have to deal with that.

[crunchy_mommy]

Yeah my other thought (cause I was thinking about this driving DS to the playground for the second time today ) is that maybe after a brief adjustment period your DS will settle down & get used to and enjoy the free, unstructured time. You may not even need to do anything different or special... just try to get through the next week or two & see if he adjusts?

[limabean]

Originally Posted by phathui5

It could be. I really think that school teaches kids to not know how to handle free time. It's like reason #4,859 that we homeschool. Our friends with kids in school are all stressed when the kids are home. We don't have to deal with that.

I'm glad homeschooling works out well for you guys; it isn't something I'm interested in pursuing. I'm not sure I would characterize myself as "all stressed" as much as just looking for ideas on how to navigate this transition time successfully.

[pauletoy]

I have the same problem. A kiddie pool has saved my sanity. We go out every afternoon and "swim". In the pool, the kids entertain each other. I sit in a chair just inside the garage door, just a few feet from the pool. I turn on a box fan and drink a large glass of tea and enjoy some down time. Sometimes we even follow the rule of pool=no bath. I love those days.

[newbymom05]

Originally Posted by phathui5

It could be. I really think that school teaches kids to not know how to handle free time. It's like reason #4,859 that we homeschool. Our friends with kids in school are all stressed when the kids are home. We don't have to deal with that.

Everybody handles transitions differently. I don't think it's the schools fault or stressed out parents. If you do anything for 35+ hrs a week and then just stop, it's a change that requires readjustment. We belong to a h/s group and all our kids complain in the winter/middle of summer when park days stop. They can entertain themselves just fine, but they like the structure, friends, and activities they're used to. I think that's pretty universal.

[wagamama]

This sounds exactly like my life with 5-year-old DS and 2-year-old DD. DS goes to a very unstructured preschool -- often nothing is planned, and the kids wander around finding things to do/making their own games. And yet, at home, things don't work well when I try to just "hang out" with the kids. I want to have an easygoing life, but it's not working out that way.

I have come to the conclusion that DS needs other kids closer to his own age. He LOVES to be with his friends. Unfortuately, none of them live close-by, and he's too shy to make friends with the kids who do live around us (we just moved here last year and we are trying to make friends, but it's slow going).

So playdates are the best thing for us. Of course, they can't happen all the time. I like the kiddy pool idea -- think I will get one.