Waiting to Adopt NON DDC ~ July 2010

[BeckC]

This is a "Non Due Date Club" for all the Mamas waiting to adopt kiddos, whether newborn or older. We can share our stories, encourage each other while we wait and be patient (or not) for our little ones to arrive.

Feel free to join in if you are waiting for a foster kiddo, a relative or an adoption in any stage. We're not trying to be exclusive at all. Mamas who don't have any kids yet but who are waiting to adopt or foster a kiddo are also welcome. Also feel free to chime in if you have previously adopted and have stories or advice to share.

Please keep this thread supportive and gentle. We all have different journeys and different ways of "getting there".

Here is the link to June's NON DDC

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Waiting to Adopt DDC Roll Call!!!


BeckC (Rebecca)
Domestic Transracial Newborn Adoption
Homestudy approved 8/09
Waiting to be matched

Whistler (Erin)
International Adoption from Ethiopia
Waiting to apply

mamalemon
Domestic Newborn Adoption
Baby boy is home 9/09!
Waiting for finalization

mamarhu
Foster/adoptive parent, hoping to adopt DFC
Maybe waiting for 5yo twins, sibs of DFC

tiffani
International African adoption
Received referral for 2.5 year old boy and 5 mo old girl!
Waiting on a court date

lamamax3
Domestic Newborn Adoption
Licensed and waiting to be matched

curliemama
Private domestic adoption
Baby girl is home 2/10!
Waiting for finalization

HeatherAtHome (Heather)
Hoping to foster/adopt
Bought a house, renovating before starting the process

candm
International Haitian adoption
Finalized, our son and daughter are home!

crl (Catherine)
Updating homestudies for China and Kyrgyzstan
Homestudy for domestic adoption approved 12/09
Matched with an emom having a girl due in April
Baby girl is home 4/10!
Waiting for finalization

sesa70 (Theresa)
Domestic Transracial Infant Adoption
Homestudy approved 11/09
Waiting for a match

airmide_m
Adoption plans on hold

chanibell
International Adoption
Thinking stage for #2

angie6191
Hoping to adopt current foster kiddos
Starting process for domestic transracial newborn adoption
Approved 11/09
Waiting for a match

azedazobollis (Christine)
Domestic Newborn Adoption
DD came home 12/08
Waiting for finalization

Polliwog (Beth)
Hoping to adopt DFD who is free for adoption
Hoping to finalize summer '10

DTmama1
Matched with sibling group from foster care
Ages 6, 9, 10, 11, and 13
Kids are moved in!

raqmykds (Raquel)
Transracial domestic adoption
Matched with an emom due 5/8/10!

Alvenchrst
Foster/adopt
Working on paperwork

ftlmom2001
Domestic private adoption
Baby boy born 10/09!
Waiting for finalization

hdeering
Foster parents to 3 yo, 3 yo, and 5 month old.
Moving towards adoption with 2 out of 3, but maybe all 3.
TPR hearing for 1 or 2 of them in Jan.

excitedtobeamom
Adopting from Thailand
Waiting on referral (hopefully summer/fall 2010)

Crpsmnwife
International adoption from Ethiopia
Dossier approved
Received referral 4/26/10!
Waiting to travel

Ttoes
Domestic Newborn Adoption
Homestudy approved
Waiting to be matched

SimplyRochelle (Rochelle)
Hoping to adopt from foster care
Working on paperwork

griffin2004
State Foster-to-Adopt Program
Waiting for a placement
Signed with private adoption attorney

christophersmom
Hoping to foster
Approved 10/09
Baby girl placed 1/10!
Waiting for finalization

leahcar
Homestudy approved 07/09
Hoping to adopt an older child (girl)
Matched with a 9 year old girl
Waiting for ICPC

ladycop79 (Heather B)
Hoping to foster
Taking MAPP classes

Sbrinton (Sara)
International adoption from Rwanda
Working on homestudy

mightyisis6874
Domestic Infant Adoption
Applying with agency
Waiting for homestudy

willowbean
Licensing for foster hoping to foster-adopt
Working on home study

Bella Catalina
Hoping to adopt from Ethiopia
Researching agencies

Veronika01
Hoping to adopt
Researching programs

Mama K (Kim)
Domestic Transracial Newborn Adoption
Homestudy approved 12/09
Waiting to be matched

azmomtoone
Researching domestic and foster-adopt
Waiting to get on orientation list for foster care

just_lily
Domestic Public Adoption
Starting classes summer '10

Armom
Adoption through state foster care system
Homestudy approved
Waiting to be matched with a 2-5 year old

miche28
Domestic private adoption newborn through 2 years
Homestudy approved
Waiting for a match

alinae
International adoption from Taiwan
Received referral 4/10 for a little boy!
Waiting to travel

sagewinna
Foster to adopt
Waiting for approval

Ladyofmoonlight
International adoption from DRC
Just beginning the process

queenjane
Hoping to adopt 2yo DFS and his 8 yo sister

krisnic
International adoption from Korea
Researching agencies

veganjoy
Foster to adopt
Completed training
Waiting for approval

JoyfamMama
Fostering and Foster to adopt
Waiting for homestudy

Smithie
State Foster/Adopt Program
Older Child Adoption
Waiting for homestudy

Erintoadopt
Domestic Adoption
Waiting for a match

MovingMomma (Shannon)
International adoption from Rwanda
Just starting the process


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Graduates!!!

Whistler (Erin)
Domestic Transracial Newborn Adoption
Baby boy born on 9/29
Home on 10/9!
Finalized 4/10!

rebyell
Domestic adoption
Baby girl born 11/10/09
Baby is home!
Finalized 3/10!

someonenamedleah (Leah)
Domestic Transracial Infant Adoption
Baby boys born 1/09!
Finalized 5/10!

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[BeckC]

We've been waiting now for just over 10 months. Still nothing. We may be doing our yearly homestudy update soon. Still feeling a crazy lady collecting baby stuff for a baby who will never come.

I wish I had more to update. Oh, I'm buying some diapers this month which is fun.

How's everyone else doing?


*As far as this DDC goes, I *think* I have everyone whose asked me to add them. If you've asked and I haven't, I'm sorry. It's hard to keep up with everyone and sometimes I miss someone unintentionally. You can PM me if I've missed you and I'll add you right away.

[HeatherAtHome]

My update is that there is no update. Seems like that's the way it always is around here! I wanted to call to start the fostering process or at the very least, to get a little more info. I called in May, left a message, was never called back. We got a puppy and right afterwards so I waited for it to settle in. I called back in June and they said "My goodness! What a mix up! I can't believe she never called you back!".... and she never called me back. Or I just wasn't available and they didn't bother to keep trying.

Now I'm waiting for these holidays to pass (June 24th and July 1st-Happy Canada Day! ) then will try calling early next week. Hopefully I can get a hold of them in the two weeks before construction holiday when everyone in Quebec goes on vacation. Otherwise I'll have to wait for August.

I've never really had a pull to physically give birth but at least then I would know the timeline of when a child comes into our home.

[sagewinna]

I bought some prefolds a few weeks ago, I am trying so hard not to buy stuff since we could get a baby or a 3 year old, but I figure they'll come in handy at any of the ages we might get placed with. I have some medium and some large covers and that's it for now. I look at baby and toddler clothes but I've been restrained so far. We'll see how long it lasts!

Our file is under final review, then we get our worker for the homestudy part. I am releived beyond beleif to have the paperwork and clearances done. We took the water safety class last weekend, too.

My 6 year old has been talking a lot to me lately about our future child, nursing, birth, etc... She's having a hard time with the idea that I probably will not be allowed to nurse this child, she still has a lot of memories from our nursing relationship.

People ask everytime they see me where we are in the proces or when do we get a child, something like that. I love it but I can see it getting tiresome the longer the wait it, kind of like when we tried for years to get pg...

[veganjoy]

We just had our final homestudy visit, where we read and approved the homestudy. It's kind of odd to see your family summed up in several pages, but our social worker has been fantastic, and we've actually enjoyed the process.

After county [hopefully] approves us, we'll be assigned a foster parent worker, and will be able to accept placements. I expect that will take awhile (our age range is pretty narrow). That's fine with me, because we're also expecting a newborn this fall. So far, the process has been mostly straightforward and painless...

[BeckC]

Well, good news and bad news.

The good news is that even though we're coming up on a year since our approval, we don't need another homestudy update until Feb 2011. Our home state is 2 years, and our adopting state is 18 months.

The bad news is that we're still nothing is happening. Our profile has been shown 8 times all year, but not since March. It's just dead, nothing is happening. We're never going to have a baby.

[HeatherAtHome]

BeckC

I know it will be a while until we have kids in our home but I've been buying things. I have toys, books, some child size furniture, a crib mattress, bedding, a 'guest bed', a booster seat... (wow, I have quite a bit!) Some items have been passed on from family members, others I found while at garage sales etc. I limit myself to only really nice items that are made from wood or 'classic' and in really good condition.

Most things are being used because my niece spends a lot of time over here. The booster seat is hers actually. I won't let myself buy clothes or diapers, that will happen later. I can see it getting out of hand way too easily!

[sagewinna]

Beck, I'm sorry. Waiting is so hard.

[Whistler]

(((BECK and Heather)))) Hugs!

We are in about the same boat. According to my calculations, the soones Little Sister can come home is June 2016. That seems like a loooooong time from now.

[miche28]

No real news here. Still waiting. Trying hard to just stay zen about it, but have never been very good at that .

[sesa70]

No news here either. Our agency says it will probably be 'at least' another 9 months. This is, of course, for a program they claimed they needed parents for, and a program we were quoted 9-12 months TOTAL. Its been 9 months.

I am definately angry and bitter. I am trying to take one day at a time though and try not to stress too much.

[sagewinna]

I keep wondering how much the budget cuts in Ca will effect the length of the process for us. I know it's taking a lot longer for finalization. They've cut social services so much and they just keep talking about more cuts, especially in CPS.

I don't have experience waiting for a placement but I have experience with not getting pregnant month after month for years. It's a really hard place to be, to ride the waves of hopeful and it's never going to happen. I'm thinking of everyone today.

[BeckC]

Ugh Sesa, I SO know how you feel. So much for "You're open to all that? Oh, I don't think you'll have to wait very long at all!" And then it's extended, and extended. We're at 10 months and we have another at least 8 months to go, probably more like 14 or so.

[sesa70]

Originally Posted by BeckC

Ugh Sesa, I SO know how you feel. So much for "You're open to all that? Oh, I don't think you'll have to wait very long at all!" And then it's extended, and extended. We're at 10 months and we have another at least 8 months to go, probably more like 14 or so.

*sigh* I feel your pain BeckC! I feel my experience and frustration mirrored in your posts. I feel like I could have just as much written them myself! It sounds like we both got started around the same time, and based on our agencies, sounds like we might have our babies at the same time too.... at this point I am feeling so negative I wonder if I will EVER have a baby.

[HeatherAtHome]

Originally Posted by sesa70

*sigh* I feel your pain BeckC! I feel my experience and frustration mirrored in your posts. I feel like I could have just as much written them myself! It sounds like we both got started around the same time, and based on our agencies, sounds like we might have our babies at the same time too.... at this point I am feeling so negative I wonder if I will EVER have a baby.

I feel the same here although for us it was a combo of us being ready and NOW it's about The Process. I realized last week that I'm going to be an old mom. Well, we won't have a kid in our home until I'm 30 anyways. Possibly older. I come from a place where people seem to start in their late teens, early 20's.

[sagewinna]

We have a social worker assigned now, I talked to her today on the phone.

We have our interviews set for the first week in August. The home visit should be about 4 weeks after that. She said, if all runs smoothly, we'll be ready for the search around the end of October.

[Polliwog]

Whoo hoo. Someone's making progress. It's been a slow summer. LOL.

[just_lily]

We are slowly making progress as well. We have our Potential Adoptive Parenting class coming up the first two weekends in August. It is an intensive - a Friday night, all day Saturday, all day Sunday, and all day the following Saturday.

We just got married at the end of June (yay!) and now that the wedding is over I have some brain cells to devote back to getting all of the adoption paperwork in order. We need to go update our police checks (I run a home daycare so we already have them, but they are too old for social services) and get medical clearances, plus fill out a hugely long questionnaire about our childhoods.

We could have taken our class back in June, but I didn't think spending the two weekends before the wedding tied up in class was a good idea, so we chose to delay until the next available class in August. So a bit of progress here, just in the fact that time has been ticking away.

[Smithie]

I've decided to call my worker on Monday. The new fiscal year has rolled around for DSS, they now have budget to pay for the non-emergency homestudies, and they need to get their butts out here.

[Armom]

I will be going to committee mid-August! I don't want to give too many specifics, but I do feel the match is perfect. Ever my worker has made comments about that. That said, there is no way to know if the committee will feel that way and maybe one of the other families being considered is even a more perfect match...please think good thoughts for me!