42 wks tomorrow & no dilation - SO frustrated!

[gardenmama76]

I had such a disappointing OB appt today. Tomorrow I will be 42 weeks, and before last Tuesday's appt I had never had any contractions - BH or "real" ones. Since then I started contracting like CRAZY! All week I kept getting closer and closer to thinking "this is it!" Tuesday night they were 6 minute apart and so painful I could hardly move. They stayed like that for about 3 hours and then petered off and I got really sad. Not as sad as I was at my appt to find that I haven't progressed AT ALL in a week! Last week on Tues I was 90% effaced with baby engaged and zero dilation. This week exactly the same. I could've SWORN I'd done some work already!

This is our first baby and I do NOT want to be induced because it took 3 years to conceive her and I had 3 surgeries in the year and a half before getting pregnant. I have all sorts of pain issues and I'm so scared of getting a c-section and inviting the opportunity for more scar tissue and more pain. My doctor is one in a million according to our doula, and has been VERY patient. He did an ultrasound today and said based on any distress factors they look for, he gave her an A+. He said saw no reason why we couldn't wait until next Weds (42 wks 6 days!) to induce. There is no way my dates are wrong either.

I'm hoping she'll come before then, but after my appt my doula dropped another bomb on me. She didn't think we'd make it to July, and it's highly unusual for an OB to let someone wait so long for induction. She will be leaving for vacation next TUESDAY!!! So now I don't know what to do. Do I see if I can bump the induction up to Monday so she can be there, or hope the baby comes before then on her own and wait it out. Plus, since my doctor is so awesome he is the ONLY one I want to induce me, and I don't know if he'll even be there Monday since it's a holiday. Now I'm worried he probably won't be around all weekend even if she does come on her own.

I am done counting contractions. I'm so disappointed that nothing happened this week. I only get all excited when they get regular only for them to disappear. I'm not going to count them anymore until I'm doubled over and can tell it's happening close together!!!

I've tried all the labor inducing techniques, although with the recent heatwave have admittedly not walked much. It's cooling off the next 2 days so hopefully I can get some walking in. I'm just REALLY frustrated, growing increasingly uncomfortable and don't know what to do.

[CookAMH]

Two things - do NOT dwell on where you are or where you aren't with dilation and effacing. Just don't do it, it means nothing. You could be zero cm and zero % and literally go into labor tonight and another woman might walk around at 3-4cm for weeks.

Also, next week is several days away and that is PLENTY of time to go into labor. Your body knows what to do - trust it, and be patient. It is hard. But you must do it. And you'll do great and will be welcoming your baby before you know it.

That is sweet that you have a great OB! That is rare these days.

How is baby's position? That is one thing you can focus on. Do what you can to see that the baby is in a good position to press on your cervix and dilate it when the time comes. Check out www.spinningbabies.com if you want more info on positioning.

[gardenmama76]

Thanks for the encouragement. He said her head is all the way down locked in my pelvis and her butt is constantly poking out of my belly. She is more on the right instead of the left (her feet poke out of my left side), and I know the left is optimal, but between being breech or posterior, I'm happy she's at least head down and anterior. Between the three, I'll take her being on the right! I'll see what the spinning babies site says about turning her, but sometimes her butt does shift almost to the left side on its own. I'm not sure how important the right/left thing is vs the other two positioning issues which seem more critical. I've heard that lots of false labor pains can be because the baby needs to get in the right position, but I feel like aside from being on the right she's pretty good. I'm just hoping things get going soon.

[HeatherB]

Can you see a chiropractor? It can help get baby into a good position - which is definitely a big factor for prodromal labor. Check out http://www.icpa4kids.com/ to find prenatal chiropractors in your area. Once baby is in a good position, it sounds like you are right ready to go!

[xekomaya]

My son was ROA and I had a 24h labor while he turned. Once he was LOA it was about 4h until he was on my arms. An ROA baby is basically set up to be born sunny side up -not exactly ideal and potentially the reason for the stall. Maybe scrub some floors and see if you can get her to roll?

ETA: Having her shift "almost to the left" isn't representative of what you're looking for - it is not really the spine but her head position that matters. She might need to come up out of your pelvis a smidge so she can turn her head the other way.

[Just1More]

I agree with pps...don't stress AND work on optimal positioning.

But, I offer 2 bits of antedoctal experience...

1.) My last two babies rode around ROA, and both switched to LOA in early labor. I didn't do anything. To avoid explaining it all, I'll just say that my active labors with both were under 3 hours.

2.) My third baby was 41 weeks, 0 days. I was 0 dilated, and barely effaced. She was not engaged. The first contraction was around 2:30 am, but I didn't recognize it as labor until about 5:30 am. She was born at 8:02am. I checked, btw, around 3am or so...my cervix was still completely closed. Don't stress where you are right now. It really means nothing.

[nova22]

A Harvard study showed that the pregnancies of first time moms usually lasted more like 41 weeks and 5 days, if I'm remembering correctly...it's scribbled in my Bradley workbook somewhere if you want the exact day count. If that's true, you're only two days overdue...not too bad. I have never had my dilation checked so I can't tell you if I was ever dilated or not before labor, but I do know that people can be 0% or 75% dilated at a check up and it is not an absolute foolproof way to tell how far off the labor will be.

Do you have Swiss Kris herbal laxative? Some people take castor oil to self-induce and I have heard a lot of horror stories about that. When my water broke at 42 weeks and nothing happened for two days, my midwife recommended taking 10 Swiss Kris tablets. I was terrified to do it because I thought I'd be running to the bathroom and having wretched cramps, but I finally just did it and went to bed. Two or three hours later I woke up with contractions but there was no diarrhea or wretched cramps. It just moved things in the right direction.

Of course, maybe you're not reading this because you're packing up and meeting your doula at the hospital right now for a birth. Good luck!

[MonP'titBoudain]

Oh mama, I hear your frustration! How awesome that you have such a cool OB! It's unheard of around here to have an OB willing to wait and see until 42w6d! I felt really blessed to have an OB who was willing to wait til 42w.

As far as dilation goes, I'll echo the pp's to say it really means NOTHING! I know it's hard to believe that, especially with your first. I certainly understood it in my head the first time, but not until I experienced labor (and what a very rapid dilation felt like) did I really get how completely useless that measurement is.

My dilation anecdotes: both times I have had very little to no dilation until transition and then have gone from about 4 or 5 to fully dilated quite rapidly. Same was true for my sister. My mother on the other hand walked around at 3 or 4 cm (depending on the kid) for weeks with lot's of prodromal stuff and then had rapid labors with OP babies. It's all subjective!

Beyond positioning (which really can have a pretty big influence on things) some more proactive "natural" induction methods include seeing acupuncturist (some naturally minded chiros around here will do it) or trying acupressure (it seems like those things are often left off of lists which is why I'm mentioning them, even though you said you've tried a lot of stuff all ready)! And there's always good ole' castor oil and OJ, if you haven't tried that yet.

If nothing else, have your partner (or doula) sift your belly with a rebozo or scarf. It feels divine and is wonderfully relaxing (like a full body massage), which I imagine you want with all this stress right now. Plus, it's a great help turning a posterior baby!

Though, I hope none of this will help you cause you're already snuggling with your lo!!

[MaerynPearl]

With DD I walked around 3cm dilated for a MONTH.

While my best friend went in for a check up... not dilated at all... and had her little one that night.

Do not focus on that!

[XanaduMama]

I would definitely try the chiro and work on positioning. Also take EPO and have loads of sex to help ripen your cervix.

Mostly, though, I would STOP all internal exams from now on! Honestly, they don't tell you anything useful--you'll know when you're in labor, you'll know when it's time to push...being checked not only makes you feel like a "failure" if things haven't changed, but also risks all sorts of other things, like ROM or introducing infection.

And I'd definitely take castor oil before accepting a pit induction... Pitocin is bad news--trust me.

[momasana]

Sending good cervix-opening vibes your way.

[gardenmama76]

Thanks for all the advice ladies!

Today I woke up in the most horrible pain. I kept trying to sleep through them but every eight minutes it was like horrible, horrible menstrual cramping for about 40 seconds. By far the worst pain I've felt yet (x10!) and I was sure after this went on for an hour and a half it could be it! Then I discovered DH left for work and never came upstairs to check in with me before doing so, and here I was terrified it could all be starting, had only had about 3 1/2 hours of sleep and was facing staying home alone until I figured out what was going on. I got up to call him and got a little hysterical. Then I was up and around and sure enough they started to go away again. I couldn't decide if I was sad it went away or relieved the pain was gone. Certainly if it's not the real deal I was a little happy not to be doubled over every 8 minutes. Since then I went back to bed and got about 4 more hours of sleep, interrupted every so often by another excruciating contraction. I've been up for about two hours now and only had another 3 or 4, but they are still very painful. Now I'll be even more annoyed if this keeps up and nothing happens, since they are getting so painful!

[Quinalla]

Hopefully you are already in labor, but if not, here is another dilation means nothing story. I had an appointment on Monday when I was 37w2d and was not dilated at all and 50% effaced. She was born Saturday when I was 38w and I was in labor a total of 4 hours (that I recognized) and went from 5cm to complete in about 2 minutes The poor nurses were so surprised they were running around like crazy getting the room ready.

But yeah, hands and knees and sitting/bouncing on a birth ball and all that should help get things more ready. Don't get discouraged, just because you aren't dilated doesn't mean your contractions aren't doing anything, they definitely are!

[aikigypsy]

Good? I bet things are starting to move, even if it isn't full-blown labor yet.

I went over 42 weeks, and had an induction starting at 42+1, which took several days. I started at something like 1 cm dialated and 50% effaced. It was exhausting, but it's not the end of the world or even necessarily the high road to a c-section. You will be fine, one way or another. I'm glad that you have such a good OB, and I hope your doula will be able to be there, too!

[HeatherB]

Remember that each contraction IS doing *something*, even if it's not measurable as dilation. There are lots of things that happen in labor - positioning of the baby, effacement, dilation... You're on your way!

[BlackSheepPDX]

Originally Posted by gardenmama76

Thanks for all the advice ladies!

Today I woke up in the most horrible pain. I kept trying to sleep through them but every eight minutes it was like horrible, horrible menstrual cramping for about 40 seconds. By far the worst pain I've felt yet (x10!) and I was sure after this went on for an hour and a half it could be it! Then I discovered DH left for work and never came upstairs to check in with me before doing so, and here I was terrified it could all be starting, had only had about 3 1/2 hours of sleep and was facing staying home alone until I figured out what was going on. I got up to call him and got a little hysterical. Then I was up and around and sure enough they started to go away again. I couldn't decide if I was sad it went away or relieved the pain was gone. Certainly if it's not the real deal I was a little happy not to be doubled over every 8 minutes. Since then I went back to bed and got about 4 more hours of sleep, interrupted every so often by another excruciating contraction. I've been up for about two hours now and only had another 3 or 4, but they are still very painful. Now I'll be even more annoyed if this keeps up and nothing happens, since they are getting so painful!

Honey, you have just got to RELAX. There are tons of stories about women stalling labor involuntarily because they were worried about X, Y, or Z, and didn't realize how much it was affecting them. Your tale of getting hysterical about not having had enough sleep totally made me think you freaked yourself out of labor! Spend some time visualizing and relaxing and welcoming baby, and just let whatever's going to happen, happen. And DEFINITELY don't bother with your cervix.

I had several days of "warmup" contractions, and was barely dilated when I was checked at my appointment at 41w3 day. I went into labor and had my daughter in a 7 hour period, from 11pm to 6am (41w4 to 41w5). It will happen. Your body is doing what it needs to. Trust it. Hopefully this reply is moot (I walked away for a couple of hours) and you're off to baby land!

[Earthy Mama]

Originally Posted by BlackSheepPDX

Honey, you have just got to RELAX. There are tons of stories about women stalling labor involuntarily because they were worried about X, Y, or Z, and didn't realize how much it was affecting them. Your tale of getting hysterical about not having had enough sleep totally made me think you freaked yourself out of labor! Spend some time visualizing and relaxing and welcoming baby, and just let whatever's going to happen, happen. And DEFINITELY don't bother with your cervix.

I had several days of "warmup" contractions, and was barely dilated when I was checked at my appointment at 41w3 day. I went into labor and had my daughter in a 7 hour period, from 11pm to 6am (41w4 to 41w5). It will happen. Your body is doing what it needs to. Trust it. Hopefully this reply is moot (I walked away for a couple of hours) and you're off to baby land!

I was just thinking the same thing. Tell your baby you are ready. You can do this!

[CookAMH]

How are you doing?

[sk8boarder15]

My sister got that far along with no dialation as well, they ONLY gave her cirvidal and BOOM she started dialating and had that baby out about 4 hours! So it is possible to just have 1 thing that will jump start your body! She did the rest completely drug free dispite a very FAST HARD labor!

[spatulagirl]

First, relax. If you aren't opposed to it have a bit of wine and take a bath. Or drink some tea and take a bath. Or go swimming! You need to stop stressing because this is something beyond your control (I know, it is hard, just try)

With my first, I went to the hospital after having been in labour for an entire day and was only 2cm. I went from 2-10 in less than an hour. I went to 42 and 5 days with my last kid. I was NOTHING dilated until labour started. I went from tightly closed to 6cm in a few hours. Then I progressed more slowly as she was born with her hands on her face; it took awhile for my body to get her into the right position.

Good luck! Your babe will come! And what an awesome OB you have too!