If I'm not up for long-term cosleeping, am I causing more frustration in the long run?

[mrsfrenchy]

DD2 is five months old and still in our bed. At the moment this works pretty well. I can say, though, that neither DH nor I is up for a long-term cosleeping commitment. Neither of us wants to sleep with a toddler or older baby. I know from sleeping in DD1's bed occasionally that I won't sleep well. I also know that DH and I start feeling pretty disconnected if we don't get alone time or if one person is in a different bed all night.

Anyway, DD2 won't sleep in her own bed for long. She'll fall asleep and then wake up an hour or two later. If I'm sleeping beside her, she sleeps much longer (still nurses about 2x/night, not terrible). Currently, she's just been falling asleep on the couch or in my arms while DH and I are still in the living room and she stays there until I go to bed a few hours later. Her sleep doesn't seem disturbed by everything going on (we normally have the TV on and are talking to eachother, sometimes we're cleaning), but I still feel like its not really an environment that's conducive to healthy sleep.

I just have no idea how the transition to sleeping alone is going to go and I would prefer that it happen sooner rather than later. Also, as DD2 gets older, I don't want DD1 to feel left out because she sleeps in her bed but her sister sleeps in ours.

Would it be less painful for everyone if I actually activitely worked at getting DD2 to sleep alone now instead of waiting until she's older and more aware (and needing to nurse less)? I know that the default here is to cosleep for quite a while, but I'm really just wanting a perspective about how to end cosleeping in the most gentle way (I won't CIO)

...It really would be perfect if DD2 would give up sleeping with me to sleep with her sister instead (DD1 sleeps in a full bed), but obviously I'd have to wait a while for that. DD2 needs to be able to fight back.

Any advice or previous experience is welcomed.

[starzz]

We co slept with our dd till she as about 14 months old. It was at that time that I had a feeling it was time for her to learn to sleep through the night in her own bed (crib). It was a challenge night weaning her but it did happen now she sleeps through the night by herself and does great!

I enjoyed co sleeping till then but we both knew we didn't want her in the bed past about a year. We used the method where the father comforts the child and teaches the child that mama won't nurse at night anymore. It takes a week to a month depending on the child's disposition. Consistency is key. Stick with it. It does work, although for us it did mean hearing some crying. But that was because our daughter wasn't going to give up night nursing without a fight. She'd night nurse till she was 4 if she could I am sure but I was newly pregnant and that was way too hard on me as my nipples were very sore. She still nurses now even though I am pregnant but only during the day for set times.

I think the transition was great. I think that if you are feeling the need to transition her think it over and find a good time when your husband will be available to help out a lot at night! You will find the right time to do it.

For us it was closer to a year but it's different for every family.

[lifeguard]

We decided to co-sleep until ds was down to about 1 waking a night. For us that was 16 months. The transition to his own bed/room went verrrrry smoothly & now we sleep separately most of the time.

I don't think starting off co-sleeping means you must continue that way.

[Xerxella]

We co slept 6 months and 4 months. I moved them to a crib when they became too wiggly for me to get good sleep. But, that meant me going to the crib and rocking chair in the middle of the night during night wakings, nursing and putting back in the crib. For me, this was actually less disturbing than co-sleeping, but to each their own.

It was no problem at all moving them to their own bed. We just started night weaning our 1 yo, but DS night weaned ata bout 9 months. (I now love, love, love Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution.)