He did. He was wasted.
At first he said he didn't, and got mad at me for pestering, but then he admitted that his behavior (getting mad at me) was him puffing out his defensive chest. He said he doesn't know why someone doesn't walk into AA and say "Don't ever marry an alcoholic. They've got your number and you can't get anything by them because they've done it all".
BUT. He's in good spirits and is getting back up on the horse and is/has been learning lessons. And isn't avoiding talking about it.
He said he knows where his mistakes lay. He was worried about it all day, yesterday, starting from when he went to work (at 6am!). He knew he'd get a bottle. He knew it when he got out of work. He didn't want to, and didn't want to all the way to the store.
He went out, bought it, and sucked it down in the hour (!) it took me to read to ds and put him to sleep
He said that all the way to the store, he was saying to himself why is he doing this when he doesn't want to. He said he had to force the first sip, and then had to wait 10m before he took the 2nd sip.
He took horrific photos and had to delete every one. He realized this morning he didn't even finish the bottle, which has never happened before, and poured it down the sink.
He asked me what that meant. I said one of two things, but probably both: his pancreas is rebelling, and maybe just maybe he's getting sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Anyway. So far so good. You know...I really don't even care if he drinks once in awhile. Except for the pancreas thing. If it weren't for that, I really wouldn't care. What I care about is when he does, he (usually) gets in such a self-loathing cycle that he shuts me
But yay. Not this time. He's trying.
Thanks for listening, mamas.
How come everyone's so quiet? It's a gorgeous Saturday. I need to get off my duff and finish packing and get some exercise. It's the last nice (well, 83*) day before it gets HOT again
In MA, the week I'm there, all next week-- temps in the HIGH 90s. HIGH. UGH.
Ye Gods, I hate heat.