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Queer Conceptions - July - Page 5

post #81 of 486
woohoo!! it's my 1000th post! do i get a prize or something? lol!!

i'm encouraged that there are mature adults in open relationships on this board. however, i fear that this couple is not one of them. further information that came to light late yesterday indicates the younger one was talking serious smack about what she would do with/to my dp given the opportunity. i will just hope we never run into them again.

follistim is an injectible fertility medication which is more potent than clomid and femara. i think there is a way bigger chance of multiples using that than clomid - depending on what the regime is of course.

llbrarylady, sorry about the temp drop. i hope it pops back up again tomorrow along with a bfp.

qotd - my co-workers were all very supportive. i took 6 weeks "short term disability" plus 2 weeks vacation. coming back to work was easy because ds1 went (still does) to my company daycare. dp took 12 weeks off at 1/2 pay and ds2 also goes to my company daycare.

post #82 of 486
Indigo~ I'm sure there are people in healthy open relationships, but I'd also wager that most of those are men. I don't seen how women could do it, or would necessarily want to. That might make me narrow minded but it's just my thoughts. I'm glad you managed to escape those gals and I too hope they don't incur your wrath in the future! Your DP does sound lovely, too, it's true, but they'll just have to content themselves with an eyefull.

Thanks for your encouragement. I don't see how I could come back from this, but I guess anything's possible. Well, not anything. I guess this is just the latest example of the progesterone effing with me.

Congrats on 1,000 posts. If I knew how to do emoticons, I'd find something celebratory.
post #83 of 486
Curses! I was just finishing one of my epic posts, and MDC shut down and lost the whole thing.

Now I'm too irritated to recreate the whole thing, so I'll be back with QOTD and more personals later. In brief, though:

Indigo: Hooray for your 1,000th post! Thanks for haring it with us! i made you an awesome little smiley parade in celebration, but it's gone... Still, for you!

Library: It's not over till it's over, really. In my preggo cycle I had several big dips, and turned out that I got that BFP anyway. So maybe hold out hope?

Gelly: Fingers still crossed for you... how do you feel?

Bunny: Sorry about AF. I agree with AHope, though, that it probably isn't anything you could have controlled, just luck of the draw. Don't they say that, even under the very best conditions, there's only a 20% chance of conception? And, sadly, none of us gets to have the "very best conditions." I hope this next try is the one for you!

AHope: Congrats on confirming your low-stress right-on-schedule O. I hope you get your BFP before you even make it to your RE appointment. That'll show them!

AFM: Another BFP this morning, but I'm still feeling fairly optimistic based on my temps, nausea, and the fact that my last BFP wasn't actually until 12DPO at night. So I'm holding out hope for a few more days. I think the hardest part if I get a BFN in the end will be that I do feel[ so pregnant, and it will be harder down the road to trust that instinct if it turns out not to be the case...

Ok, the rest of my last post can't be saved. I think I'll take it as a sign that it's time to leave my sweltering office for the cool of a car ride to work from home.
post #84 of 486
Squeel!!!! Ok, well, even though I have had not even a hint of a +OPK, and it's only cycle day 10, my Saliva test says peak fertility is tomorrow & Friday, SO we did a cervix check today and !VOILA! we are looking fertile folks! I wouldn't have guessed in a million years this early in my cycle (which is probably why for awhile last year I thought I wasnt ovulating) but the sperm will be here tomorrow, so as long as I don't get an ovulation confirmation on my vag sensor tonight we are in business! Gonna have another looksy tomorrow to decide between tomorrow night and Friday. :fingerscrossed !!!

BTW First post from my iPhone = surprisingly easy
post #85 of 486
Congrats on the fertile signs Scarlett! I hope your timing ends up perfect

AmandaHope I used Follistim for my IVFs. It's an injectible (FYI if you do end up taking it, the shots really didn't hurt much at all). I was on...225mg if I remember right? Part of the "High responder" protocol, which they say means they give you a low dosage thinking you'll respond very well to the meds. And indeed I did, with 31 follicles the first time and more than that the second time. I felt like I needed to cart my ovaries around in a wheelbarrow lol. Granted they could have you at a much lower dosage, but I would want to do some serious research before agreeing to injectibles for an IUI cycle. I'd also feel pretty freaked out that the nurse hadn't hurt of Femara since it's probably one of the most commonly prescribed fertility drugs.

QODT - I'm a housewife now, so I don't have to go back to "work" after pregnancy, I can just finally do the job I've been preparing for my whole life!

AFM - well, obviously AF is here full force. Thank god, cause I couldn't have dealt with that tease much longer. My husband has the time off work, I just have to reserve a hotel. And figure out what we're going to do in that boring town. I wonder if we're too fat to horseback ride?

I called my regular doctor and I just LOVE the office manage there. She always remembers me and she was really supportive about it not working. I told her my thinking (about responding well to meds and my eggs fertilizing even with dead sperm) and that of course I'm not a doctor but I'm just worried I may have something causing implantation failure. She agreed with me it seems logical and she'll talk to the doctor about it. She's also going to ask him to order a full hormonal panel since I haven't had that done in 4 years. Now I just have to figure out what cycle day and home Clomid doesn't throw it off.

And I was shocked that I was actually able to get an appointment with a doctor I've heard a lot about who is supposed to be very good at hormones and helping with infertility issues! But she's not an RE so my insurance should cover her I think (I insisted that I want to be seen for Hashimotos and painful periods and I know insurance will cover that). So I could have gotten an appointment as soon as two weeks from now, but that's when we'll be out of town so it's on the 28th. I guess they do IUIs there so in case I end up needing that I guess that's good news too.

I guess I'm a little worried since I have to send over all my records that some of my other doctors may have mentioned how psycho I am lol. I wish I could just have them send the test results without any other info.
post #86 of 486
I'm back from vacation, well rested and ready to get back to business. I am eagerly awaiting AF so I can try again. It will be my first cycle on medication and I am ready! Good to see everyone is doing well.

Coco- Congratulations on the twins! That is wonderful news!
post #87 of 486
Bunny-- YOU have a right to your medical record, and you always have the option of picking it yourself, looking it over, and then presenting all or parts of it to your new doc yourself. We have patients do it all the time. I'm hoping that it was just a fluke and everything is perfect in your insides & just waiting on that perfect egg.
post #88 of 486
Wow, I'm terrible at keeping up here!

Beastie Sorry you keep getting BFNs, but it truly is too early! And your chart does look good. Good luck!

escher Good luck with the new sperm!! We're on try #7 with our KD, our last shot with his goods, and my NP said that she does have a belief that some sperm and some eggs were just never destined to meet successfully. (We're insemming this week or next, so I'm hoping that's not OUR case... but I do think there's something to it!)

AmandaHope Yes, we will take the baby if we need to. If the baby gets taken away from her, they will go to family first, and we are both willing and ready if it heads our way. It is so hard to be supportive to HER when we've given her so much support already and she's taken advantage of it left and right. The whole situation just sucks.

BunnyLullabye Sorry about your BFN.

gellybean Sorry about your DW's aunt! And your crazy vacation! Man, when it rains, it pours, huh? Are you still at BFN or has AF arrived? I hope you're still waiting and your BFP is right around the corner.

COCO Congrats on the twins! Amazing!!

MissScarlett May the LH force be with you.

Thanks for all of the kind words about my sister. I've moved past the anger and sadness, and now I'm just afraid for the baby. We're prepared to take the baby if the county comes calling. I think the best thing that can happen is if she gives it up for adoption or the county takes it away from her until she can care for it. It's been a really crappy few years dealing with her, I don't know why I'm surprised this is happening. Oy.

Babymaking update: After being on fairly aggressive meds last month and only producing one follicle, my doc upped my meds considerably this month. This is our last month with our preferred donor, so we wanted to go all out trying to make a baby. We went yesterday for our CD11 u/s and there were 6 dominant follicles, measuring 12-13 each. He was aiming for 4-5. He initially wanted to lower the dosage, but I expressed concern that it would go down to only 1 follicle. He has discussed selective reduction with us (and I know this is a controversial topic), and we are okay with it. It's not ideal, I pray it's not something we have to worry about, but we want a baby, ideally with this donor (who is DW's brother, who lives in Europe and is not accessible for more sperm). When I expressed concern about only 1 or 2 follicles, he decided to keep the meds as is. So if things go according to plan, we'll have 5-6 follicles come insemination time. Truthfully, the chance of more than 2 sticking is so slim... I would hate to be conservative and only end up with 1 or 2 follicles. He also only gets about 1 set of quads a year, and that's the most he's had. We've also already spent about $3k on this cycle alone - why slow down now? Because I have so many, he's treating this cycle like an IVF, without the egg extraction. This just means more drugs, and IVF grade progesterone post insemination. It'll be a shot as opposed to a suppository. He's having me do a shot of something to prevent me from prematurely ovulating on Thursday night. We do an u/s on Friday, hopefully a Lupron trigger Saturday night, insem on Monday morning, and HCG shot Monday night (I don't really understand why, but this is standard IVF stuff apparently). I hope to GOD this works. It's financially and emotionally draining, and the bravelle shots are starting to HURT. I'm putting it out into the universe that I want to be pregnant with not more than two babies.

QOTD - Peaceful time: Usually, right after AF leaves is pretty peaceful, and 2 days after IUI-8 days after IUI is also peaceful. The rest of the time is NUTS.

QOTD - Surrogacy I don't know if I could do it. Maybe for my other sister (NOT THE DRUG ADDICT), but I don't know. It would be difficult. I'm also so attached to the baby I haven't conceived yet... hmm.

I hope all of you TWW'ers are knocked up!!
post #89 of 486
I'm so sorry I've been Posty McPosterson today, but it's my "panic day". I'm having all sorts of twingy crampy ovulatey feelings in my little tummy today and PRAYING the egg will hold off till the swimmers get here tomorrow. Like I said, I've never O'd anywhere CLOSE to CD 10 before, some I'm hoping it's a mixture of my head, my nerves, and my late sushi dinner last night.

Please cooperate universe, my patience is thin.
post #90 of 486
Scarlett~ I hear you! Panic indeed. My fingers are crossed that the egg hangs on until you need it the most. I hope it all goes well for you. CD 10 seems really odd! But we do what our body tells us, eh?

I've done nothing but cry all day. I bought HPTs at the store but I kinda don't even want to pee on them just to see them mocking me. I'm feeling pre-period and know it's going to be time to flush another $500 down the toilet. It's really breaking my heart this time.
post #91 of 486
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by Beastie View Post
Indigo: At least now you know! I'm glad that they weren't avoiding you because of anything about you guys. That said, I should throw out there that DP and I have always had a technically open relationship (I say technically because there have been very few, almost no, times that we've used that option). And we've been in a committed relationship for seven years now, married for two, having survived a million super big life events together. So I wouldn't let one immature couple with what sounds like real communication problems be the model for all open relationships! For us, it keeps us both aware that we're in our relationship because we chose it, every single day, and we put in plenty of work negotiating and checking in about our boundaries and comfort zones (for instance, no hitting on people in monogamous relationships, who are our mutual friends, at random pool parties that we're attending as a couple! Yikes!).
sounds a lot like my DP and I... therefore, i second you in saying "...I wouldn't let one immature couple with what sounds like real communication problems be the model for all open relationships! For us, it keeps us both aware that we're in our relationship because we chose it, every single day, and we put in plenty of work negotiating and checking in about our boundaries and comfort zones..."
post #92 of 486
Thread Starter 

CD15 - Trigger tonight!!

scarlett, don't worry about being a posty mcposterson... it's what we are here for! i'm sure that you will O right on time for those little swimmers you are getting tomorrow... but i totally understand you about those twinges playing games with you!

5G, wow... i'm jealous of all of your follies... i had my u/s this morning and i only have one again this cycle. i really was hoping for two.... FX that you will have 1-2 sticky beans this cycle!!

max, enjoy the rest of your "break"...

bunny, so sorry to hear that the witch found you.


library, it ain't over 'till it's over! FX


dykemom, i added you in the "waiting to O" category. please post all updates in bold

escher, enjoy your time with family!

QOTD: we plan that i will quit my job soon thereafter getting my BFP or at the very latest after maternity leave.

chiquitayy, good to see you!!! so sorry to hear of all of your recent frustrations... i hope things get on track for you very soon!

AMom, i totally feel you about the "where can i get me some sperm" thing when taking the month off, esp. when you didn't really want to take that month off. i hope you can enjoy the rest of this break, and that you have an amazing time in MA getting married!

afm, like i mentioned above, today is trigger day!! this morning at 7am i had one follie = 18.5mm, lining = 8.9mm. the doc said he usually likes to see the follie = 19mm before triggering but he also said it should be that size by the time we trigger tonight at 8pm. DP has to do an intramuscular shot in my bum... again.
post #93 of 486
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by LibraryLady View Post
Scarlett~ I hear you! Panic indeed. My fingers are crossed that the egg hangs on until you need it the most. I hope it all goes well for you. CD 10 seems really odd! But we do what our body tells us, eh?

I've done nothing but cry all day. I bought HPTs at the store but I kinda don't even want to pee on them just to see them mocking me. I'm feeling pre-period and know it's going to be time to flush another $500 down the toilet. It's really breaking my heart this time.
you get extra tonight...
post #94 of 486
Hello ladies,

I am sorry that I have been MIA, but between work, school and my DP's family being here for the funeral on Friday, I just haven't had that much time to get on the computer.

I am feeling fine...just a little dissapointed in the BFN's. I called the obgyn and she wants me to start something that will make AF come. She doesn't think the progesterone is not keeping AF at bay. It is weird that I am having all of these pregnancy symptoms, AF has not showed up, my temp is still relatively high (eventhough today it had dropped a bit), so what the heck is going on?

And I haven't had a cycle this long in almost 6 months. Maybe AF will be here tomorrow. Maybe it's stress messing with me.

I hope you all are doing well...I will get to personals this weekend.
post #95 of 486
wow, I haven't been on here in a while--just read 3 whole pages of posts, so I have no idea what's been going on with whom, everything is happening so fast, and I apologize for that!

Anyway, had an appt for my CD11 ultrasound, and it looks like I have a follicle! No meds, no nothing this cycle. Last time I went off all meds, I got hot flashes and my body did nothing for 3 weeks. This time, however, I'm cooking a 16mm follie (they called it a cyst in the report...wasn't sure about that) all on my own. I go back Friday, and who knows when I'll IUI!

I MIGHT consider surrogacy, but only after I'd completed my family, only for a close friend/relative, and only with someone else's eggs (mostly because my own don't work all the time).

I will totally discuss CM/cervix/etc with total strangers. People I know, however, probably not all that comfortable unless they are going through exactly the same thing--even then, one of my friends is doing IVF with the clinic we were going to, and we're totally cool with talking about almost anything going on in our cycles, just not the actual cervix or CM, lol.

OK, ladies, good luck to all of you in the 2ww, or waiting to O. Hugs to any of you who got AF.
post #96 of 486

NO ovulation today!!!!! Im still in it! Sperm comes tomorrow!

*so relieved*

Library ((BIG HUG)) Rest tonight, tomorrow is a new day!

Kearney Glad to have you back! Keep cookin that egg!

Gelly This is TOTALLY my opinion, but I would be reluctant to take anything to prompt AF JUST IN CASE you do have a little bean in there. Im more of a "my body knows what it's doing girl" but I understand if it has just gotten too much to handle this cycle.... Best of luck and clarity to you

FiveGrand Sorry that all of these other things are taking away hard earned baby making energy. Hoping you have a peaceful end to this week and a restful, replenishing weekend.

wehrli WOOHOOO for trigger day!

Our clinic is across the street from the house, so I am hoping to be able to have the best of both worlds and walk back and forth from home to work as the baby needs. Such a blessing to own our own business and it be so close to home. Looking forward to a "clinic kiddo".
post #97 of 486
Originally Posted by wehrli View Post
COCO... I'M SO INCREDIBLY HAPPY FOR YOU AND YOUR DP!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!! i saw a pic of the ultrasound in the Q&P thread... simply beautiful! enjoy every moment, mama.
TWINS? Wow. Lucky!!!
post #98 of 486
Wow--busy day around these parts!

Library s and s and s for you. I hear how discouraged you are. Sometimes it feels like no matter how incredibly hard you try, it isn't good enough--that BFP just won't come. What an awful feeling. And it is so hard to get positive again for a new cycle, when you *were* positive, and it didn't work! This is a brutal process, but it *will* end. Eventually, when you are obsessing over which diapers leak least or how you forgot about a bin of cute clothes before the baby grew out of that size or where you can buy that one just perfect binkie, etc., ttc will seem so distant, and the pain of this moment will be a blurry memory. Just hold on for now. (All that said, I'm still hoping you get a shocker of a BFP--stay away AF!).

KKearney How exciting that you have a 16mm follicle with no drugs! That is fantastic! I hope it grows perfectly and that you have a successful IUI soon--probably over the weekend, right?

Beastie You must be going nuts. I would be. I'm so so hoping you get a BFP in the morning. Really, truly, hoping.

Gelly s for you. How confusing! Just please get a beta before they give you Provera or something to make AF come.

Wehrli Trigger tonight! Yee haw! This is what you've been waiting for! Hope it isn't a pain in the bum.

Miss Scarlett I'm impressed you caught fertile signs so early in your cycle. HOLD OFF, O! Tomorrow is the day!

5G Wow. That is a serious protocol. And thanks for the Follistim info. I think I'll be avoiding that. Personally, one nice ripe egg is all I want or need. And I'll push the NP about Femara. She did write it down...so maybe she'll look it up! I take it Femara is a pill and not an injectible? I'll visualize no more than two fertilized, healthy, embryos for you. I really hope this is your month.

Max Welcome back!

Bunny Glad you were able to get an appt with your doc, and I hope s/he has some good ideas. I know what you mean about AF being a relief sometimes. At least then you know what the f*&k is going on!

AMom I know that feeling of scoping hard for sperm when the fertile signs show up. Hang in there. How is the wedding planning going? Have you decided where you'll get married in MA? Exciting!

Sorry if I missed anyone, but I have to go to bed! Meanwhile, I have no signs or symptoms of any kind at the big 5dpo. Nada. And I'm only temping intermittently, so I can't obsess about temps (insert relaxed sigh). I met with another contractor today and priced out cabinets, which left me really sad. We know what cabinets we want; they are beautiful and blue and express our sense of who we are (ie,whimsical coastal people stuck in the midwest--no offense ;-). But they cost so much. And ultimately, they are just cabinets. And I feel terrible, because the contractor who has spent probably 30 hours with us and who needs the work really badly is still coming in significantly higher in price than the other guy, who just has a bigger company which is more efficient. And we have to go with price, even though we like the more expensive guy better. I'm so dreading that conversation.
post #99 of 486
Originally Posted by LibraryLady View Post

I've done nothing but cry all day. I bought HPTs at the store but I kinda don't even want to pee on them just to see them mocking me. I'm feeling pre-period and know it's going to be time to flush another $500 down the toilet. It's really breaking my heart this time.

I know how that feels... It aint over until AF shows tho...

But I know how hard it can be emotionnally. We put alot of ourselves in this process... you cant do it halfheartedly therefore the risk of being heartbroken every month is very real...

For some relief, try some avoidance... an activity that will keep you emotionnally and physically busy elsewhere... When we got one of our most difficult BFN's, We spent all day playing guitar Hero, full volume and very very very energically (sp??)... it sort of helped get through those few hours of intense dissapointment.

But it aint over until its over !

post #100 of 486
Originally Posted by dykemom View Post
TWINS? Wow. Lucky!!!

Thanks everyone for your wishes and excitement about our twins

8 and a half weeks today... I feel more secure about DP not miscarriaging.

I am wishing everyone here this trip.... it is quite something !

Although I have to say..... going from 2 and a half years of not being able to make one to having two in one pod is quite a change !

Sending babydust to all ! And TwinBabyDust at that !!

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