New and just looking for a shoulder to whine on!

[Tway]

Hi all!

My beautiful daughter--now 8 1/2 months--was never a "good" sleeper. It took months for her to sleep more than 2 hours at a time, and she's napped more than 45 minutes about 3 times since she's been born.

Last month we went on holiday overseas for a month, and although she still woke up frequently and was hard to put down most of the time, she slept in till 10 and gave me some much needed rest. And when we got home--miracle of miracles--she slept 7 hours in a row, in her own crib, for 3 nights (we cosleep the rest of the night--the only way we all get some sleep).

And this week? It's all rolled downhill. She went from 4 hours in a row to 3 to 1.5... and last night we were up about 10 times. Good lord, what happened??? She hasn't a tooth in her head yet, so I'm wondering if those little bumps at the front of her gums are finally moving up.

I've always been obsessed about her sleep--and mine--and was finally feeling like we'd turned a corner. But now... I don't know what to think! Anyone else had ups and downs and lived to tell about it? I'm pretty sure it will get better in its own time, but I'd just like someone to tell me it's OK and pat me on my sleep-deprived head!

Thanks!

[kgreenemama]

My DS was not a "Not Good Sleeper." He was a terrible sleeper. From the first night in the hospital forward. We held him for naps just to ensure at least 30 minutes of sleep, he screamed like mad in the car and stroller, so those options were out of the question. I think I made ruts in the floors of my entire first floor when he was a newborn - I would hold him and walk/rock a path through our living room, dining room, and kitchen, humming to him for sometimes an hour before he'd fall back to sleep after a feeding. We started bed sharing, and still do now, much to our enjoyment (he's now 27 mo), but I had never heard of attachment parenting until I started researching (frantically) what to do with a child who won't sleep.

I look back now and realize that there were many phases along the way, and he's still changing. Ups, downs, and in general, a trend toward easier. And because time blurs memory, I've let go of much of the frustration and obsessing that I know I had. (Why do all my friends' babies sleep? Did I do something to make him this way? Etc.) What remains in my memory is that I got to spend an immense amount of time with my son.

I think I had a big change in attitude when I took a grad class and met a woman my age whose daughter died at 9 months old. I was moved by her strength to move on and her wisdom about being a gentle parent. Whenever I get frustrated with my son for skipping a nap or for waking frequently during the night (he still wakes about 3 times), I think to myself: what if something tragic befell our family? It makes me treasure our bond every moment that I can and be more "present" while we are together. Letting go of the irritating habits of our babies and toddlers is the same skill that will be asked of us when they come home with strange clothes when they are teens.

Hang in there! You are SO doing the right things for your daughter.

[Tway]

Thanks! I needed to hear that. Last night she was up every hour and awake between 3 and 5. Ay-ay-ay. This morning she's fit as a fiddle while Daddy and I are walking zombies. But you're right--I spend tons of time with her and she seems so very well adjusted. In time all the bad will be a blurr and the good will shine.

Just have to get there...

[IndigoKoi]

It is ok!! I know how difficult it can be to have a little one that wakes up at least every 2 hours if not every hour, and to feel like you have nothing to give when the sun comes up in the morning. My son had severe eczema until he was about 7 mos old, and he was always so miserably itchy he really woke up like every 30 mins to nurse to at least give himself some comfort. It was extremely difficult for all of us, but I always felt that I couldn't blame him and he was suffering more than we were actually which helped me to take a deep breath and always be patient with him. After his eczema cleared (eliminated all potential allergens from my diet and I also made a special cream for him), his sleep patterns were still all messed up b/c I believe his body never had a chance to "learn" proper sleep patterns for his age. We BF until he was 19 mos, and it was a slow process from waking up every hour, to 2 hrs, and when we hit 3 hrs I thought it was a miracle! Towards the end of our BF relationship he woke up about 2 times in the night which would be about every 3 hrs still, and then once we weaned, he would wake up about once (we put him to sleep in his crib, then transferred to our bed when he woke up) and now he sleeps through the night!! (for us that is a straight 9 hrs from falling asleep to waking up) I was thinking just the other day how he has transformed from a baby that barely slept, while everyone else around me was boasting about how well their baby was "sleep trained", but now my little man is such a good sleeper! It does take him about an hour in his crib or our bed to wind down, as he talks to us and rolls around and talks to himself, but he will roll over and fall asleep on his own when he is ready.

I think one major thing to keep in mind with baby sleep is that they go through growth cycles both physically and mentally/emotionally and every time their is a growth spurt in either one there is bound to be a change in sleep. It's usually temporary, so don't be too discouraged if your little one was sleeping well and then all of a sudden has changed. A change in routine or some other external stress can also be a cause of a sleep change so just try to be observant of what's going on in your lives and help your little one to cope with whatever is going on. It will get better! And one day sleep will no longer be a distant memory