*Bitter Sushi Ladies - July* - Page 3

[justthinkn]

Hi, could I join? I've been lurking for a bit, maybe a bit in denial that this really is not happening at all easily or quickly this time... But it's happening, and I am definitely starting to feel bitter at times. Sometimes I can forget... But when other people who haven't struggled at all get pregnant, or I'm around a bunch of beautiful pregnant bellies? Yup, feeling bitter.

We've been TTC #2 since early last summer, and we have a first appt with our HMO's infertility department set up for July 20th. I've always seemed to have pretty regular cycles (have charted for roughly 5 years), though there have been a few little irregularities since I started really formally tracking again 3-4 months ago I'm starting OPKs for the first time today, cd10 - one of the things I was asked to do in our intake letter, along with cutting out all alcohol (really?? ) and reducing caffeine to less than a cup a day

Anyway, if you'll have me, I think my intro for the first page would be "justthinkn - TTC #2 since summer 2009, just starting IF testing with DH."

[millefleur]

Welcome justthinkn!! I hope your stay is short and sweet!

[InWaiting]

Welcome justthinkn! I hope that your stay here is a short one! What kind of irregularities have you seen on your charts?
NO alcohol and LESS than a cup a day of coffee? Geesh that's harsh.

[Maurine]

Originally Posted by justthinkn

along with cutting out all alcohol (really?? )

Welcome. No alcohol seems unecessary. Sorry about that! I've consulted with two RE's at this point, and neither one has said I need to cut out all alcohol. They ask how much I drink a week (and I overestimated, I think I said 8 drinks a week), and they all say that's fine...until I get a positive HPT that is!

[lapis]

ladies

Justthinking: welcome hope your stay is short!!

Nanette: I'm thinking of you and your IVF cycle

Tear: also thinking of you and sending s

Millefleur: so we finally did an insemination today! it was weird in a sort of fun way... three days down and four or five to go!!! I still am soooo happy that you shared your idea w/ me

afm... so yeah, what I just said... we are on the third day of our ttc marathon. I really REALLY really want to show up to my doctors office in august with a super sticky baby for him to look at on the ultrasound!

I'm sending austrain baby to ALL of you!!!!!!

[InWaiting]

Originally Posted by lapis

I really REALLY really want to show up to my doctors office in august with a super sticky baby for him to look at on the ultrasound!

I'm sending austrain baby to ALL of you!!!!!!

Lapis, right back at you! A super sticky baby in August would be terrific!!

[justthinkn]

Thanks for the welcome, ladies!

Chart irregularities... Nothing major, I don't think - it's just that 2 of the 3 full cycles I've charted thus far, I was sick (the flu, 2x, so unfair) for 2-3 of the 4 weeks, which made for some wacky temperatures (though still a pretty clear O, I think) and in each case a shorter than normal LP. One was really short (9 days, I think?) with lots of heavy spotting for many of the days - I think something went really wrong there. Last cycle was like 11 days, but I think of myself as having a 13-14 day LP. Cycle 2, I think, if you look at my chart, LP was 15 days. It was a beautiful cycle, but nada

Yeah, I can handle the caffeine recommendation ok - I've switched mostly to decaf over the last year anyway. But no alcohol at all feels really restrictive, and DH wants us to stick to it - he's a rule follower I'm going to ask at our appt, see if an individual RE would have a different line than the "official" HMO intake letter. At least during AF, I'd like to be able to have a glass of wine at my pity party!

[slylives]

WTF. BFFFFN at 11DPO. Second cycle on Clomid. I have conceived four times the first time of trying (3 losses) and now that I am being monitored and goodness-knows-what-else, I can't get pregnant at all.

We are going to be starting IVF soon - probably after what is sure to be another unsuccessful round of Clomid. Bitter doesn't even come close. And good lord will I be drinking tonight.

[xtara2003x]

I am so heartbroken.

This is the only place I can come with out feeling over dramatic...

Our sweet precious little 12 week kitty just died in our arms at the vet's office. We just got him last Thursday. I saw him instantly and had to have him. He was slightly sick...but all of a sudden this week he took a horrible turn and he died today.

I wanted a kitten so bad because I can't seem to have a baby. I wanted something sweet and small to cuddle and snuggle...to wait with me as I waited for a baby....

The only thing I kept thinking the entire time was that I can't even keep a kitten alive.

2010 SUCKS. I want to fast forward and go on to a new year. I can't take this.

[InWaiting]

Originally Posted by justthinkn

One was really short (9 days, I think?) with lots of heavy spotting for many of the days - I think something went really wrong there. Last cycle was like 11 days, but I think of myself as having a 13-14 day LP. Cycle 2, I think, if you look at my chart, LP was 15 days. It was a beautiful cycle, but nada [IMG]file:///C:/Users/ERICAM%7E1/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.gif[/IMG]

Yeah, I can handle the caffeine recommendation ok - I've switched mostly to decaf over the last year anyway. But no alcohol at all feels really restrictive, and DH wants us to stick to it - he's a rule follower I'm going to ask at our appt, see if an individual RE would have a different line than the "official" HMO intake letter. At least during AF, I'd like to be able to have a glass of wine at my pity party!

That is a nice looking cycle! Maybe you’ll have another one like this cycle. Hopefully the RE will give you some slack, especially during AF when you need it most!

Originally Posted by slylives

WTF. BFFFFN at 11DPO. Second cycle on Clomid. I have conceived four times the first time of trying (3 losses) and now that I am being monitored and goodness-knows-what-else, I can't get pregnant at all.

We are going to be starting IVF soon - probably after what is sure to be another unsuccessful round of Clomid. Bitter doesn't even come close. And good lord will I be drinking tonight.

11DPO is still early. There is still hope! I am so sorry for your losses

[InWaiting]

xtara2003x, I am SO sorry. Pets do become like our children, so I know that your heartache is terrible. I hate that you have had to experience yet another loss.

[BelovedK]

xtara2003x I'm so sorry

[miriam_bat_avraham]

Originally Posted by xtara2003x

CD 2.

I didn't even cry when AF came this month. Didn't really feel anything (aside from the massive cramping and bloating).

Then today it hit me.

I took DD to an amusement park with a friend of mine's little girl who is 1 year older than DD. EVERYWHERE I looked there were pregnant people. Seriously. Everywhere. Tiny babies. Big round glowing bellies. Beautiful yellow sun dresses covering up beautiful pregnant bellies. I saw women caressing their precious babies inside of them and it tore me in two.

I should be wearing those sun dresses. I should be caressing my baby belly.


I wondered why I was so crabby today. I felt like I kept telling the girls to hurry up and get to the next ride, etc. Then I came home and DH and I had a stupid fight over something so dumb..but here I am sitting here bawling because I just realized what the heck the real issue is.

I think I just need a good soak in the tub and a big session. I'm looking forward to the time in my cycle where I actually feel optimistic.

Man, that plus losing your poor puppy If I could, I'd reach into the screen and hand you the glass of white wine beside me... you need it more than I.

Not to sound crass talking "business" so soon after your loss... but did you get your puppy from a shelter or a breeder? Either way, you can probably recoup the cost of the pup since you were given one in poor health... obviously no replacement for what you lost (and I'm a dog owner as well, I can't even describe how devastated we would be over here if anything happened to our "first baby") but certainly there's no need for you to have additional suffering over this.

Again... I'm just so sad for you and the poor little pup. What was his/her name and what kind of dog was he/she? (Of course, if it makes you too sad to talk about it, you can ignore this.)

Originally Posted by Kinza

AFM, 13 DPO. BFN this morning, as pure as the driven snow. MaerynPearl's 13DPO BFP sustained me through yesterday, and now I am trying to convince myself that the awful cramps I had on 12/13 DPO were a very late implantation. It could totally happen to somebody, so why shouldn't it happen for me? Yeah, ok, I'm pathetic. 4 more days to AF.

4 more days to AF? What a spectacular LP you have!

If it helps, those sorts of things that seem to happen to "other people" but not to us... well, to me you ARE "other people," so from my perspective it's likely to happen to you! So don't lose faith!

Originally Posted by Tear78

Me too. I haven't had time to react to this, and today during my yoga class I had to put the blanket over my head to hide my near-breakdown sobs, because it was the first moment I had space to retreat into my heart and my body. And still I held back. I know it has to come out, but I don't know when. Maybe the hope for the next cycle will kick in and the bawl session will never happen: is that healthy? ugh...

bottoms up, Tara, I'm here with you.

I think everyone handles things differently, and whatever feels best for you is what's "healthy" and right. I think your yoga class gave you a good piece of information-- you can let it out and process best when you take the time to focus on yourself and create that headspace. The question is, do you feel better after you let it out or not...

Either way, I hope it becomes moot when the next cycle gives you a Discovery Channel TV show's worth of giggly, nommy babies




AFM: 3 DPO... crosshairs day! I feel like such an old hat at this, even with only a recent history of ovulation. I knew the day I O'd that it was going to be my O day, but that I'd have to wait around for FF to confirm it, haha.

I keep getting a weird twingey feeling in my right side, which is really odd for me because I only ever feel anything (except bad cramps, which take over your whole body) on my LEFT side. Never on the right! I think things feel different now that I woke it all up with my HSG (and the right side did take longer to go through than the left, so I wonder if it was a bit clogged up? Neither side was *blocked*, but you never know...). I'm hoping this means I have a little developing eggie traveling the Hoober-Bloob Highway in there... anyone seen that movie? Anyone? Bueller?

[Maurine]

xtara2003x - That totally sucks. You're not being over dramatic at all. We too lost a beloved kitty, only had her 2 years (and she was like our baby, she was a hairless sphynx so she had to be bathed and she slept in the bed with us for warmth and we put her in sweaters in the winter). I still get upset when I think about her dying, and that was 4 years ago. But, believe me, the pain will get better. Perhaps getting another one in a little while will also help. Again, I am so sorry.

[Keria]

Xtara so sorry that is so sad.

[jenger]

Originally Posted by justthinkn

Hi, could I join?

.... along with cutting out all alcohol (really?? ) and reducing caffeine to less than a cup a day

Welcome justthinkn! I added you! Check it, and let me know what you think. Sorry it took me so long, I had a guest... I hope you don't have to stick around here for too long...

Originally Posted by xtara2003x

I am so heartbroken.

Oh xtara!! I'm so sorry, that is tough.

Originally Posted by slylives

WTF. BFFFFN at 11DPO.

Still a chance, yeah?

AFM 6DPO, am chugging along - my first progesterone cycle - 100mg/day. Trying to stay positive...

Kisses, all

[millefleur]

Originally Posted by xtara2003x

I am so heartbroken.

This is the only place I can come with out feeling over dramatic...

Our sweet precious little 12 week kitty just died in our arms at the vet's office. We just got him last Thursday. I saw him instantly and had to have him. He was slightly sick...but all of a sudden this week he took a horrible turn and he died today.

I wanted a kitten so bad because I can't seem to have a baby. I wanted something sweet and small to cuddle and snuggle...to wait with me as I waited for a baby....

The only thing I kept thinking the entire time was that I can't even keep a kitten alive.

2010 SUCKS. I want to fast forward and go on to a new year. I can't take this.

That is so sad Tara. I'm so sorry. As an animal shelter volunteer/rescuer I have been there more times than I like to think about. I always adopt another one right away, it's the only thing that helps me. Many to you!

[jenger]

Oh, and I forgot to add...

justthinkn - I saw an RE a month ago - I mentioned my love of wine and coffee, and he said it was just fine!

(To put it in prospective, my situation is similar to yours... we are ttc #2 and #1 was easy to conceive... we have been trying since August '09, and my cycles are totally predictable and normal, as long as you consider a 12 day LP and an average ovulation day of 17 as normal...)

[jenger]

And PS-
Any clues why my crosshairs are dotted?

[Kinza]

Welcome, justthinkn! Hope you don't have to stick around too long!

slylives, will you test again? 11 DPO is disappointing, but not necessarily correct.

xtara, s

miriam_bat_avraham, i try to remind myself that a 17 day LP is a good thing, but it's so agonizing to wait! Every day past 14 DPO I get all excited, even though I KNOW that my LP is normally freakishly long. And I think I like your perspective on my perspective. It could happen, it could happen.

jenger, I can't see your chart from your homepage. It says incorrect address, etc.

AFM, 15 DPO today. Just waiting for AF. Doobie doobie doo. I shall drink beer tonight.