I'm speaking as a grandparent and also foster provider. I have found that I have few rights and little opportunity to voice my concerns...at court, at case reviews and to the caseworkers and agencies they represent.
Because the courts are by nature slow moving, and care plans sometimes require many months of drug treatment, parenting classes and other lengthy hurdles...we relative and non-relative foster parents have children in our homes we have to advocate for over periods of many months, sometimes years.
As a relative provider, I also love my grandchild. After many months of caring for him, (19 months and counting), I am now deeply bonded to him and he has also bonded to me. I'm the one in the trenches, providing the 24/7 nurturing he needs.
I read online one foster parent's viewpoint that they felt like they were being used as a sort of holding cell, a place to keep a child safe, and little more. In court, if anything is said about us, it's often only that we're foster parent A, caring for children B and C at location D. My thoughts are very similar.
Some cases brought against parents are obviously false, but others have real issues, such as drug use, which is a factor for my grandson. After being the one who is in the role of parent for an extended period of time, I also feel betrayed, under-respected and pressed by both sides....caseworkers/courts/CPS AND parents.
At some point in time, a child's best interests have to become paramount. They become bonded to their kin and non-kin foster parents and to move them home would be a great difficulty for them. In many ways they see themselves as already at home....with their caregiver.
Like it or not, I'm a parent now, too, albeit only temporarily. Will it ever be permanent?
It's a tough place to be. I support my daughter, and part of me would love to see her have her children back with her. Another part of me fiercely wants to protect him, that parenting feeling again, but with my grandchild. If he can't go home...for whatever reason, I'm the one who will then have to finally legally be his parent.
I hurt for both my daughter and my grandson, but at this point in life, I have to put his needs first to take the best care of him that I possibly can.
It's a balancing act that takes a lot of intestinal fortitude and I have very little in the way of rights, and a multitude of responsibilities. I get approximately $10 per day to provide financially what my grandson needs....I spend much more than that on an average day. One trip to McDonald's can cost as much. A good babysitter can make $10 in a hour or so.
Everyone in these types of cases needs to be afforded respect and standing to be heard as a party in dependency/family issues.
Because the courts are by nature slow moving, and care plans sometimes require many months of drug treatment, parenting classes and other lengthy hurdles...we relative and non-relative foster parents have children in our homes we have to advocate for over periods of many months, sometimes years.
As a relative provider, I also love my grandchild. After many months of caring for him, (19 months and counting), I am now deeply bonded to him and he has also bonded to me. I'm the one in the trenches, providing the 24/7 nurturing he needs.
I read online one foster parent's viewpoint that they felt like they were being used as a sort of holding cell, a place to keep a child safe, and little more. In court, if anything is said about us, it's often only that we're foster parent A, caring for children B and C at location D. My thoughts are very similar.
Some cases brought against parents are obviously false, but others have real issues, such as drug use, which is a factor for my grandson. After being the one who is in the role of parent for an extended period of time, I also feel betrayed, under-respected and pressed by both sides....caseworkers/courts/CPS AND parents.
At some point in time, a child's best interests have to become paramount. They become bonded to their kin and non-kin foster parents and to move them home would be a great difficulty for them. In many ways they see themselves as already at home....with their caregiver.
Like it or not, I'm a parent now, too, albeit only temporarily. Will it ever be permanent?
It's a tough place to be. I support my daughter, and part of me would love to see her have her children back with her. Another part of me fiercely wants to protect him, that parenting feeling again, but with my grandchild. If he can't go home...for whatever reason, I'm the one who will then have to finally legally be his parent.
I hurt for both my daughter and my grandson, but at this point in life, I have to put his needs first to take the best care of him that I possibly can.
It's a balancing act that takes a lot of intestinal fortitude and I have very little in the way of rights, and a multitude of responsibilities. I get approximately $10 per day to provide financially what my grandson needs....I spend much more than that on an average day. One trip to McDonald's can cost as much. A good babysitter can make $10 in a hour or so.
Everyone in these types of cases needs to be afforded respect and standing to be heard as a party in dependency/family issues.
