Is this weird?

[kblackstone444]

A little background- last Christmas, my husband, the only dad my son ever knew, who I'd been with for almost 9 years, left, or to be more specific, asked me and my son to move out. My son and I have been living in a one bedroom apartment (all I can afford) since then, with my son in the bedroom and myself in a windowless walk-in closet, just big enough for a bed and a small dresser. Fast forward to now... I'm pregnant and my son recently found out, so I've talked to him about the problem of space, and how I won't be able to afford for us to move when the baby comes. He wanted me to move the dresser out of my "bedroom" and stick the crib in there, but I told him that I absolutely cannot put a baby in a dark, windowless room. (Plus, with little circulation, I'd worry about SIDS.) I gave my son two options, the first, being, me and the baby's crib and all the dressers going in his room, my son's bed going into the little room, and my son's computer going into the living room. The second, being that all three beds go into his bedroom (I'm gonna sidecar the crib 'cause I only have a twin bed), maybe room for one dresser, and his computer and dresser go in the little room. Is that weird that a 15 year old boy would rather share a room with his mother and a newborn baby than to have his own space and privacy? The little room is off the livingroom, but can be cooled off enough in the summer so that it's livable. I'm afraid he's gonna chance his mind after two or three nights with the baby, but then I will be in no physical shape to help him move his stuff, and his bed is a two person job, but I don't want to give him no choice, just tell him me and the baby are kicking him out of his room, know what I mean? Is thie weird? Thoughts?

[Marsupialmom]

No, I don't find it odd if you have given your reasons. You might want to discuss with him about how you are going to create privacy and that after the baby is born if he changes his mind on sleeping arrangements it is up to him and any friend he can find to help change it. Be honest with him.

My 15 year old son has a big heart, especially towards the people he loves.

[mrsdocmartin]

Maybe he doesn't care if he has privacy to sleep, but wants privacy on the computer??

[2xy]

Originally Posted by mrsdocmartin

Maybe he doesn't care if he has privacy to sleep, but wants privacy on the computer??

That's what I was thinking.

[Marsupialmom]

I don't find it odd. My 15 year could almost careless about who is sleeping in his room, tent, et. But he (and I) do mind having someone reading over our shoulders while on computer.

Do you want someone reading your post here?

Or emails to a girl friend?

Maybe he is looking at porn -- then that is a different conversation.

[momasana]

I agree with the others that I do not think it is strange. I would make sure he knew that you wouldn't be able to help him move furniture if he changed his mind.

[maddymama]

Ummm... for safety reasons I wouldn't want anyone (you, older son, new baby) to be in a windowless room to sleep in. For safety reasons, all rooms need to have two (or more) ways to exit- at the very least a door and a window.
I think it'd be better for you all to share the bedroom, or to sleep in the living room than to sleep in the closet.
Just my two cents...
~maddymama

[ladymeag]

Originally Posted by maddymama

Ummm... for safety reasons I wouldn't want anyone (you, older son, new baby) to be in a windowless room to sleep in. For safety reasons, all rooms need to have two (or more) ways to exit- at the very least a door and a window.
I think it'd be better for you all to share the bedroom, or to sleep in the living room than to sleep in the closet.
Just my two cents...
~maddymama

I'm with you. I've lived in situations like this (too few rooms for the number of people, etc) and I'd rather hang a privacy curtain in the living room than have someone sleep in a windowless "room" with no ventilation. I've also got no problem, in a small apartment, with loft-style one-room living with the bed visible in the main part of the apartment.

How big is the living room? Could you hang a sheet/curtain/drop cloth type separator in there to make a "room" for your son or you and the baby? That would open up the closet you're currently using for computer table, dresser, or whatever else you've got.

[dawncayden]

Yeah, I'd have the bedroom as the sleeping room and make the closet 'the office'.

Do you have a big enough couch in the living room in case he needs some space/quiet to sleep if the baby is crying?

[kblackstone444]

Originally Posted by mrsdocmartin

Maybe he doesn't care if he has privacy to sleep, but wants privacy on the computer??

Naw, it's not like that. I've got a safety feature on the computer so that he can only look at pre-approved sites, and I get a daily list (in my email) of any other sites he tries to look up.

Originally Posted by ladymeag

How big is the living room? Could you hang a sheet/curtain/drop cloth type separator in there to make a "room" for your son or you and the baby? That would open up the closet you're currently using for computer table, dresser, or whatever else you've got.

That was my first attempt, but my livingroom is impossible, in that area. First of all, it's a pretty small livingroom, but on the first wall, there's the front door, on the opposite wall, are the only windows (which face out onto the main road in town, first floor, can literally have conversations with people smoking on the front sidewalk), on the right wall, is only room for the computer desk and the kitchen door, and on the left wall, is only room for the tv, door to the bedroom, and door to the little room. It's such an awkward livingroom that we don't even have the couch facing the tv- it's off to the side. The only real option is the bedroom, for the extra bed.

Originally Posted by dawncayden

Do you have a big enough couch in the living room in case he needs some space/quiet to sleep if the baby is crying?

Ironically, he already uses the couch half the time, to sleep at night. He says it's more comfortable than his bed.