Postpartum Mama's! Weekly chat?! - Page 2

[majazama]

mamakaikai~ sorry that you experienced pushy MW's like that. I had a similar exp. with my first born, which led me to having a UC with DD2 and now I'm trying out a new MW, who just so happens to dislike the previous MWs, so I think she's going to allow me to have (isn't that sad that I have to say "allow"?) an ecstatic birth. But birth will happen how it was meant to. I never talked to my previous mws about how I felt, and I kind of regret it, as it took me so long to accept what happened. I got my amazing DD though, and that is the greatest thing.

Anyways, I just want to validate how you're feeling, because you have a right. I don't know what it is about drs. and mws about being all up in birthing womens bizness, and it sure bugs me, that's for sure.

[Kikibell]

Originally Posted by chase_mommy

Kikibell~ I cried all.the.time after my little guy was born. I had never felt or cried like that before. It lasted about a week and a half for me. I don't think mine was PPD though. I think it was the emergency c-section, NICU, and not being with all my children paired with raging hormones that did it to me. I hope you get your house to yourself and your family soon. I am also hoping that these crying episodes pass quickly for you too, its miserable I know.

Thank you hon! It is getting better, for sure. I know the emotions are normal but they are so unwelcome! I am totally estatic otherwise and every time I have a bad spell it seems so stupid - like I'm being forced to feel things that aren't mine. Quick healing to all of us!!

Originally Posted by mataji4

I personally felt great when I was in my own bedroom with the baby, like it was manageable, but even going outside to me felt overwhelming...the noises, and what people expected of me once I was "up." The best pp I ever had was when I spent a full 3 weeks in my room- it was winter so easier than summer but when I finally came out I was ready and didn't feel stressed or get breast infections like when I came out at a week or two.

Me too! I don't want anyone expecting anything of me except these little ones. They can need all they want but no one else is allowed to need anything from me right now! Including being nice and patient with visitors. I've been escaping to our bedroom w/ whichever baby I am holding. Works for me.

Originally Posted by tcooper

Emotionally, the water works have set it. I was a blubbering mess immediately with DS and stayed that way for awhile. This time around it started yesterday - day 3. We aren't "planning" any more children. So, I'm mourning that. I will never be pregnant again? Really? This body carried and nurtured two children to term (one loss) and it is just so amazing and beautiful to me. I am so proud and honored I was able to do that. But, I will never feel a child growing inside me again? I will never be big and round and beautiful, glowing in all my glory and pride again? I will never have another infant again? My! They grow SO quickly - no TOO quickly. How can I make this last longer?

I am mourning them growing up already too! Is this crazy? Half the time I have crying jags this is the reason - I think, this is the last time they'll ever be 2 weeks old. This is the last time they'll be this tiny. Etc. How do we bottle this and save it for later?!?

[mamakaikai]

Originally Posted by Kikibell

I am mourning them growing up already too! Is this crazy? Half the time I have crying jags this is the reason - I think, this is the last time they'll ever be 2 weeks old. This is the last time they'll be this tiny. Etc. How do we bottle this and save it for later?!?

I hear you! I was just looking at pictures of my firstborn as a younger baby and started to cry because my emotions felt so raw and overwhelming. I said outloud to my dp: I really miss this baby! Like somehow she had gone away even though she was right there next to me, just a toddler now.

I think it is normal and healthy to feel all these emotions even though they are so overwhelming. I think it is worse to fight them and bottle them up. When I was postpartum with dd1, I think that the strnageness and intensity of the postpartum emotional rollercoaster was so intense that I felt somehow broken. Which led to ppd. But this time around, as strange as it may seem I am doing my best to honor those feelings and be proud of them, if that's the right term. These feelings are just so uniquely 'mother' and I really think we should embrace them for what they are. Our society I think really has issues with embracing and honoring motherhood. With such short maternity leaves and birth happening behind closed doors, and breastfeeding being a sin and having to go back to work and so on, it is so hard to accept the feelings of motherhood as they don't always fit with what society expects from women.

Anyways, I think what I am saying is that living in the moment and surrendering to our instincts and to the feelings of motherhood and respecting the greatness of it is a good thing. SO yeah, it's normal to want to bottle up that feeling and want to live it forever. But every time you look back, when your twins are 2, you'll want to bottle that up too! So just enjoy the ride and love fully!!

[homew/two]

This is a fun thread!
I'm 3wks pp tomorrow and thing are going really well. Dh is a teacher and off for the summer, I don't think I could do three kids otherwise.
I'm the opposite from some of these posts, I feel cooped up staying in the house and want to be out and about. As long as I listen to my body and take naps when needed I think I do fine.

With all three kids I had pretty easy pregnancies and relatively easy labors but man oh man, nursing has always been hard. First two kids took a good month and several lactation consults to get to were it was pain free and comfortable. And both time lost milk on one side, but other side supplied plenty of milk and nursed til they were two plus. My third baby first 2 weeks were painful to nurse, but finally over that hump though still using a nipple shied on one side and that same one breast just doesn't produce much milk. I hate to admit it but I just don't like nursing much. I do it because it's good for baby, easy, cheap, and I don't have to get up in the night to make a bottle, but I don't enjoy it the way some moms talk about loving it.

Physically I feel great. My baby just started to really spend some time awake. First 2 wks she was either asleep or nursing. Love having her alert a bit now. My older two are great with her also. but 3 yr dd is a bit toooo helpful - always wanting to wrap her in blankets, dress her, change her etc. So am trying to focus her towards certain jobs (she can choose Ada's clothes and I will dress her).

Love watching all these babies come with lots more coming soon! Hard to type with one hand- signing off.

[Kikibell]

Originally Posted by mamakaikai

I think it is normal and healthy to feel all these emotions even though they are so overwhelming. I think it is worse to fight them and bottle them up. When I was postpartum with dd1, I think that the strnageness and intensity of the postpartum emotional rollercoaster was so intense that I felt somehow broken. Which led to ppd. But this time around, as strange as it may seem I am doing my best to honor those feelings and be proud of them, if that's the right term. These feelings are just so uniquely 'mother' and I really think we should embrace them for what they are. Our society I think really has issues with embracing and honoring motherhood. With such short maternity leaves and birth happening behind closed doors, and breastfeeding being a sin and having to go back to work and so on, it is so hard to accept the feelings of motherhood as they don't always fit with what society expects from women.

Wow, what a beautiful way to think about it! Thank you for that - it helped me put some of these emotions in perspective.

[Surfacing]

[nervousnelle]

Okay, so I've slowed things down and gotten back into uninterrupted Baby Adoration Mode. She really is the most beautiful miracle ever.

I'm starting to realize that I do feel overwhelmed by all the emotions, changes, etc. Trying to figure out how to honor those feelings without being swallowed up by them. Deeeep thoughts.

I should sleep while the baby sleeps...

[emilyash]

Hey mamas,

It's been great to read all these posts. NAK so hard to type...I'm 1 week postpartum and it's hard to slow down, but my body really needs me to so I'm trying. DS is at daycare, and my ma is out grocery shopping for us, so I'm enjoying some quiet baby time. DH went back to work today....it"s so different for men.
I'm also super emotional and wondering how I'll handle parenting 2 on my own when help leaves...DH said just roll with it....hmmmmm. Going to get off computer and focus on baby now.

[PapayaMom]

Originally Posted by emilyash

Hey mamas,

It's been great to read all these posts. NAK so hard to type...I'm 1 week postpartum and it's hard to slow down, but my body really needs me to so I'm trying. DS is at daycare, and my ma is out grocery shopping for us, so I'm enjoying some quiet baby time. DH went back to work today....it"s so different for men.
I'm also super emotional and wondering how I'll handle parenting 2 on my own when help leaves...DH said just roll with it....hmmmmm. Going to get off computer and focus on baby now.

Today is our first day solo too. I managed to get everyone out the door to drop DD1 off at camp but I don't have anyplace to go until she needs to be picked back up. I have a friend coming by in a bit with her little girl which will provide DD2 with some playtime.

It is different for men DH is feeling increased pressure to provide even though he knows right now the baby consumes very little resources. I guess it is a similar thing to how I am feeling needing to provide enough emotional support to everyone on top of taking care of myself. DD1 has daycamp until the first week of August so I won't have all 3 all day until then which is nice. She is such a routine driven kid that she would be a mess if she didn't have that structure to her day.

I am blessed to have such a good support system of friends and family nearby.

[mummy marja]

Originally Posted by mamakaikai

I think it is normal and healthy to feel all these emotions even though they are so overwhelming. I think it is worse to fight them and bottle them up. When I was postpartum with dd1, I think that the strnageness and intensity of the postpartum emotional rollercoaster was so intense that I felt somehow broken. Which led to ppd. But this time around, as strange as it may seem I am doing my best to honor those feelings and be proud of them, if that's the right term. These feelings are just so uniquely 'mother' and I really think we should embrace them for what they are. Our society I think really has issues with embracing and honoring motherhood. With such short maternity leaves and birth happening behind closed doors, and breastfeeding being a sin and having to go back to work and so on, it is so hard to accept the feelings of motherhood as they don't always fit with what society expects from women.

Anyways, I think what I am saying is that living in the moment and surrendering to our instincts and to the feelings of motherhood and respecting the greatness of it is a good thing. SO yeah, it's normal to want to bottle up that feeling and want to live it forever. But every time you look back, when your twins are 2, you'll want to bottle that up too! So just enjoy the ride and love fully!!

You perfectly express exactly what I've been feeling and thinking! That this extra emotional, sensitive time is a real gift and an important part of the transition to mothering our new ones. I'm trying to just be aware of my feelings, to take note of them, and just let them be.

The first few days PP for me were emotional but instead of crying all the time I was laughing about everything. I was absolutely giddy. Then on Day 5 my BIL came over and held baby for a while--later that evening I noticed that Baby smelled like BIL's cologne. I sobbed hysterically for half an hour. I felt like my body didn't recognize him anyore--his scent was gone. I felt so very primal, like an animal mother who rejects her baby if someone has touched it and changed it's scent. I was absolutely devastated. I didn't realize how important our physical bonding is. I know babies know their mothers by smell, but I didn't know that we mothers also know our babies the same way. I eventally calmed down and went to sleep, and in the morning Baby smelled like himself again.

[bjorker]

Posted via Mobile Device

[Momma2DoubleCuties]

Wondering how everyone is doing!

We are great here Ben worked himself in like he's been here forever. Such a blessing. I'm 11 days pp and am still bleeding. Like changing pads only2x a day but I'm ready for it to be all done. BF is great and life is wonderful. We are so blessed.

[welsh]

In survival mode here. 1 week old.

Really struggling with nursing. Painful painful.
Thought it'd be easy cos I nursed DS for over 2 yrs.....

Adore my baby girl though!!!

[bjorker]

Ah crap! I made a vent-y post here earlier on my phone & clearly it didnt quite go thru! argh. Can't really repeat self now, baby in arms, typing with one hand!

grrr.

[mummy marja]

That sucks, bjorker, I hate when that happens. Come back and vent when you get a minute!

Welsh-- are you getting help with the nursing, or do you feel like things will work themselves out? It really shows how each new nursing relationship is different no matter how many times you've done it. My mom had a really, really difficult time with her 5th baby, after nursing 4 easily. She went on to nurse #5 for over 2 years though!

[atpeace]

Sigh, I haven't been posting much here lately since I've been having baby blues issues for the past three weeks. But now things are starting to look brighter and I'm bonding with DS much more (which was really weighing on me and making me feel super guilty). He's so sweet and lovely, even though he's still fussy and screechy often, I can accept that and appreciate the snuggly times.

For all you mamas struggling with emotions, IT WILL PASS. I know it's hard while you're living it, as I have been since about day 4, but you'll feel better soon. DS will be one month old (!!!!) on Tuesday, and I'm feeling much better the past few days. There is HOPE! Once you heal physically (took me a good two weeks to feel human again, what with afterpains, stitches, engorgement, back pain from holding him, etc), and start to find a new routine and a new "normal" for your family, things will fall into place. (Of course, I don't want to discount PPD, which the baby blues can end up becoming...).

Welsh - have to thought about seeing a lactation consultant or someone similar? Perhaps there's a La Leche League in your area? I didn't realize how helpful LC and LLL can be with breastfeeding issues, but they are definitely worth a try!

Momma2DoubleCuties - I hear you on the bleeding. I'm still getting spotting and beige/brownish discharge (sorry, TMI). I can't remember when that stops, but 11 days doesn't seem like a long time?

baby waking up...

[atpeace]

I'm just curious, all your mamas who have other kids, are you experiencing any amnesia, or am I the only one?! I seriously can't remember when babies first smile, how fussy DD was as a baby, how long PP bleeding lasts, when babies can hold their heads up, etc. It's like I blocked out the first few months of DD's life and not learned from my experience! Everyone says you forget the pain of childbirth, but for me, it's the post-partum period that's a blur!

[ProtoLawyer]

Day 4.

Percoset is the devil. Narcotics and I have never gotten along. I am seriously hallucinating under its influence, but without it, I can't walk to and from the bathroom.

I live in Milwaukee, where there is a massive "Back to Sleep" campaign. While in the hospital, the night nurse came in at 11, said she'd be back soon, and came back at 1:30. In the interim, Ellison fell asleep on my chest, and I fell asleep with him. When the nurse came in, she gave me the whole "we can't have that, it's not safe, I can take him to the nursery!" lecture. So...let's see. I'm supposed to take an intoxicating drug that makes me sleep three out of four hours, I'm supposed to nurse every 2-3 hours (wake him if necessary because we're fighting jaundice and my milk is still in the process of coming in), but I'm never, ever supposed to fall asleep with him? (The lactation consultant gave me a very specific "this is the hospital policy so I have to spout it but I think it's BS too" look when she was talking to me.)

Baby is home and sleeping under a billi blanket. We all got our best stretch of sleep (3 hours) when he conked out on my chest. So be it.

atpeace, I don't have other biological kids but I'm already getting amnesia about the labor and delivery, and that was only four days ago! I remember specific moments but the whole day is a blur.

[AmyKT]

Originally Posted by ProtoLawyer

I live in Milwaukee, where there is a massive "Back to Sleep" campaign. While in the hospital, the night nurse came in at 11, said she'd be back soon, and came back at 1:30. In the interim, Ellison fell asleep on my chest, and I fell asleep with him. When the nurse came in, she gave me the whole "we can't have that, it's not safe, I can take him to the nursery!" lecture.

Grr! That happened to me with my first daughter in the hospital. I was so naive and uninitiated, I let her bully me. Not this time!

[terra-pip]

I can get back on MDC when little one nurses/naps and the other two are entertaining themselves. Funny...I've been looking for a postpartum forum or section/thread...didn't even cross my mind to look in the DDC!!

I'm closing in on 3 weeks PP...baby girl has gained a pound, an ounce, and an inch! Today is our first full day of cloth diapering. FuzziBunz rock so far!Nursing going well. She does not like to be out of my arms though, literally. I haven't got her liking her Moby, NewNative, or homemade ring sling, or bouncy seat, OR cosleeper, OR husband (for very long)...she fusses that fuss you know means they're going to wail if you don't change something now!! sigh. Taking care with the other two kiddos is the hard part for me right now...I've been real patient but I'm feeling "messy house, tired, too much noise" irritation coming on. ugh.

So frustrating to hear people were having trouble with the nursery nurses and sleep. I didn't have anyone so much as blink an eye that she stayed by me to sleep the whole time..on my chest or right beside me.

I had one nurse make comments about cosleeping with my second but I just listened patiently...nodded.."uhhuh"...and went on cosleeping! She even asked about my plans for at home...as if it were her business. But I had great nurses this time around...well I did then too except the one!