Postpartum Mama's! Weekly chat?! - Page 3

[mummy marja]

Momma2DoubleCuties: My lochia lasted for a good 6 weeks after my last 2 births. Here we are at 3 weeks and still going strong, so I guess this time will be about the same. The last 2 weeks or so were not red bleeding though. And I really don't think I'm doing too much--I rest a lot, and stayed in bed for almost a week after the births.

atpeace: I so feel for you with the fussy baby! My first was really, really fussy, 2nd was a little better, and this guy seems like an angel compared to them both. It's so hard to deal with a high-needs baby. My baby had just one day of needing to nurse almost constantly, hardly any sleeping, and being fussy (half way through I figured out it was a growth spurt) and I was losing it. I know how helpless you feel when you are dealing with it day after day after day. (and night)

AFM--Babe is 3 weeks today. And, I'm pretty sure almost positive he smiled at me for real. And I cried. He's the sweetest!

We started cloth dipes this week. My first time using cloth ever. So far, going well! I need more dipes though.

Also my first time around doing the babywearing thing, and I like it a lot. He didn't love the wrap at first, and still cries for a bit when I first put him in it, but then calms down. It's a lifesaver! I even did a little sewing yesterday when he was in it. One thing I don't like though, is how hot we both get. I think this is why he sometimes gets upset when he's in there. His head gets so sweaty and red.

Nights: He wakes up to nurse 2-4 times a night. Last night was just 2 times, which is great. When it's 4 times it feels like I hardly slept.

Nursing: A LOT. If he goes 2 hours during the day, it feels like a really long time to me. He often nurses every hour, and does a lot of cluster feeding in the evening.

The kids have adjusted amazingly well. They are both highly sensitive so even though they are older, I expected to have some issues/difficulties, particularly with DS. But he loves his little bro so much, he doesn't seem to mind when he has to wait because of him.

[atpeace]

Marja - I've been meaning to ask you if you have a Polish background, as your name is my grandmother's name. Just curious. And the smiling baby thing, I am positive DS has been doing it this week too! Is it for real or is it gas? I can't tell, but it sure is lovely!

For those of you starting cloth diapers, yay! We're reusing DD's old diapers and have been using them on DS since week one. We love them!

Babywearing - not doing much of it around here...DS does not seem to be happy with any of my vast collection of carriers so far. I'm hoping that changes, since I can't survive without my carriers if I'm going to be taking care of two kids all day. I hope once his back and head are more rigid and strong we can use the carriers, but so far it's hard with the positioning and suffocation fears. UGH.

Fussy baby - I'm reaching the point where I'm looking at swings to buy, since I just want a place to put DS where he'll be entertained for a while without screaming. It would be nice to have an uninterrupted meal once in a while...but maybe this is a laughable dream until the kids are all grown up?

I see a couple of Ontario and Canada mamas on here, where is everyone from?

[Surfacing]

Hi Mamas,

atpeace - I'm in Toronto, close to Markham. I hear you on the fussy baby scene... dd1 was like that and I literally thought I was going to lose my mind with the colic and short sleeps and intensity and my own anxiety/depression problems. Anyway, wrt the baby blues, my MW reminded me today that with the milk comes the tears due to a huge drop in progesterone... so you've been dealing with it for 3 weeks now? Have you mentioned it to your MWs? Has your dh noticed? Just wondering about how long it's been and whether it's almost all day, almost every day? I hear you on the newborn amnesia - everything from nursing a newborn (positions, little tips), etc. to remembering some normal newborn behaviour. I remember with dd1 I thought I was never going to forget anything, everything was so new and I thought it would last forever... but it doesn't of course... Hang in there Mama.

Marja - sounds good that the kids are adjusting well and everyone is enjoying the new little bundle. It makes such a difference when people are adapting well. Nursing sounds like it's going well, but yeah, sleep deprivation is difficult.

Terra-pip - this Postpartum mamas thread... I think we should start a weekly one perhaps, 'cuz this one is getting rather long and kind of gets lost... I dunno... just a thought... good on ya for continuing to cosleep and do what fits for you and your family despite the nurse's opinion. Different strokes...

Proto - why is it that babies sleep so well on their tummies, lying on our chest? It seems a natural place to fall asleep, doesn't it? I hope you're healing well and can ease off on those devilish percs... addictive things, I'm told...

AFM - day 3, milk is coming in, I am feeling grumpy and tired. Nursing marathons are tiring me out but I'm so glad I have milk and he's nursing well. A bit of blisters on my nipples and a wee bit of scabbing and soreness, but thankfully it's not getting worse and worse... just wavering on OWWWW and phew, that wasn't so bad... Welsh, I hear you on the nursing woes and how excruciating it can be. I hope you get some good help. I REALLY hear you on the times when you think, "How can I continue this? It's unsustainable." Sometimes you just have to take it one feeding at a time. One day at a time.

The older girls have been with my mom during the days and dh has been home feeding me, etc. Our routines are upside-down of course, with mama being out of the picture with the girls for much of the time because I'm nursing, nursing, nursing. Dd1 happily flits around and makes herself fit around me and ds.... dd2 is having more difficulty. The last couple of nights it's been a bit hard as I would usually put her to bed, and lie with her 'til she fell asleep and snuggle. I've been getting dh to hold ds and I did that with her last night. Tonight the girls are sleeping at my mother's so dh and I can get some rest.

I feel guilty about having less to give the girls now, esp. dd2 - dd1 is taking it in stride, but dd2 is having a hard time. I was her friend, and gave her lots of affectionate attention. I love her so much (of course I love both girls so much!). I feel sad that I can't be there for her like I used to but I know this will not last forever.

We will have the girls home with us on the weekend and for some reason, dh and I are kind of nervous about that. They require a lot of energy and I'm still learning about ds and my own energy limits etc.

[somegirl99]

Hi Mamas, nice to join you here.

Looking forward to not going anywhere the next 3 days. Tuesday the drive home from the hospital was tough, yesterday and today we had follow-up doctor's appointments (we were asked to come back today for another weight check to make sure he had stabilized, which he did). Between the hour drive each way, plus DS getting very upset having to get naked for the weighings, no good place to nurse him to calm him down (I haven't really learned how to nurse well anywhere besides a bed, and the chairs there are quite uncomfortable for my stitches), etc., it took us 4 hours today to get his weight checked. Not great for rest and recovery.

Otherwise we are doing well, he is nursing well and my milk has come in. Perineum is starting to feel slightly better although it's pretty rough, I'm only really comfortable in the bed and I can't remember ever walking so awkwardly in my life. Peri bottle and sitz baths help a lot, ice packs were helping a lot in the beginning. Trying to do as many Kegels as I can stand as I think they help too.

Proto, I also fell asleep with DS on my chest in the hospital after nursing, I found it super hard to get out of bed holding him to put him in the bassinet as I was too short to reach it from the bed. Every time I got up holding him I was so stiff and awkward moving it would wake him up anyway. I still tried to get up because I was worried about dropping him from the hospital bed as it was narrow and high, although I never did. I was lucky though, as the only time a nurse found me cuddled with him asleep, she just picked him up and tucked him in the bassinet and tried to let me keep sleeping.

[bjorker]

atpeace, I totally know what you mean, I hardly remember anything from dd1's infancy. It's terrible.

Is anyone having headaches? I've been getting them all the time, and it's driving me nuts. I figure it's a pp hormal thing? but I'm 20 days pp and thinking maybe they'll go away any time now... yet they don't. Argh. Getting really tired of the brain pain.

My rant last night was this...
My dp is all *ahem* revved up, and I can't entirely blame him b/c it's been a long time... but really nothing could be further from my mind. I assume he understands that I can't actually dtd yet (you would think he would know that?!), but I don't think it matters. He'd take whatever I could give him right now, but, a) When the hell would I have the time for that?! and b) I'm soooooo not there right now. Plus, I'm all mega touched-out right now, between the constant nursing and rocking, plus the excited 5-year old jumping all over me all day because she can't leave me/the baby alone for two seconds.
AGHHH!

[expat-mama]

YAY! I finally have time to post on this thread!!!
I've been reading it faithfully every chance I get and it's helped me through the last week or so.
Sounds like everyone is doing so great despite the challenges- it's soo nice to read about you mamas going through the same stuff!

We packed my mom up today and put her on the plane back to Canada! It was pretty disappointing how little help she was- that's really sad to say. I think it was a combination of her not wanting to step on toes as DH and I have our way of wanting to do things and just not knowing/remembering what a new mama and baby need. She wasn't a very positive presence for me unfortunately, and I had a few meltdowns because of her. DS cord stump was all F'd-up and fell off really early (turned out it was fine, but it was sooo gross and scary looking) and she would stand over my shoulder as I was changing him and cleaning it saying "ohhh that's terrible", "oh, dear", "poor little guy", etc.- finally I just lost it and yelled "that is NOT helping AT ALL!" I burned 4 of my fingers on DS 4th night home and nursing him was soooo awful and it was all evening with the negative comments and nothing reassuring or helpful. A couple of times when I was down about nursing, DH tried to get her to encourage me and tell me how it'll get easier/better, but she would just say stuff like "well, it might not get easier, it might get harder, you just have to stick with it", "this is what I mean when I say how hard it is to be a mom- now you know"...ARGH. It was also really annoying the way she would just STARE at me while I was nursing and DS was crying and carrying on. I felt like some kind of freak show- "see the awful mother fail at feeding her son!" And the first 2 weeks she was here she cleaned a lot (which we didn't need because we have a cleaning lady) but didn't cook anything and we ate through the rest of freezer stash. I asked her a few days before she left if she could replenish it... and she did, kind of. Sigh. I didn't really get to "sleep when baby sleeps" while she was here either. Anyway, early this morning DH drove her to the airport and we have been having a LOVELY day, just me, DS, and DH walking around naked and taking lots of naps together!


Nursing: We are really struggling sometimes, other times it's ok. I went in to see a lactation consultant yesterday and we have another appointment on Sunday. She is the sweetest lady and was really encouraging- something I needed. I'm having loads of trouble with positioning. I've never really even held a baby before DS and he is so heavy (9 lbs) and strong. I can't seem to grip the back of his head/neck the way I'm supposed to (and he seems to hate it when I do), he obsessively tries to suck his hands when we're trying to nurse, he moves his head around so much, and it all just feels so awkward. DH tries to get me to focus on the positive- a week ago I could only do side-lying and DS would only nurse on one side- now I can nurse sitting up using the crossover hold (still can't do football), and he will occasionally nurse on the "bad" side now. I have used a medicine dropper a couple of times when we just couldn't get a latch and I felt so awful doing it.

Night nursing is weird and awful for me- I'm so tired/sleepy I kind of hallucinate- one night I kept thinking DS was a girl and it freaked me out. Last night I started crying because I thought there was something wrong with DS's soft spot. Another night I kept having visions of dropping DS because I kept nodding off while holding him. I also wake up way too often to check the clock because I feel like we've slept too long, and if I don't wake DS he'll sleep through the whole night. And waking him up...UGH. Sometimes it can take 45 minutes or an hour just to get him UP enough to nurse.
DH is super helpful at night though (well all the time) and when the baby is freaking out and won't calm down enough to nurse he'll take him and calm him down and change his diapers etc. He has mastered all the techniques in the Happiest Baby on the block and he is awesome with the various cloth dipes. Actually for a few days, I was really jealous of him doing so well with the baby when I just felt like a floundering mess because of nursing.
DH has a big case of the hornies too, and my milk-swollen boobs just serve to make matters worse. But so far I feel no pressure for anything and he is sweetly keeping his distance until I report that I'm ready. I don't think that'll be anytime soon though!

We haven't been out much- we went back to the hospital to do the PKU test and to the lactation consultant, to the grocery once and to the mall once. The mall was really stressful for some reason. We were so flustered getting him out of the carseat, into the sling, worrying about the heat going inside and the cold of the aircon once inside etc., that we left the car keys hanging in the car door. Luckily no one wants to steal my Yaris with all the luxury cars around here.

Positive things: DS is devastatingly handsome! And so sweet and lovely! He smells like cinnamon buns or something delicious that I can't quite place. He definitely looks more like his daddy especially if his eyes stay blue. I'm really curious to see what his hair will be like once he loses the newborn fuzz. We are so ecstatic that we had a BOY! He makes all these cute noises and squeaks and he is so alert and smart-looking already, it's amazing.

Well, there's my novel. I can't believe DS is only 11 days old! It feels like a lifetime since we came home together from the birth centre.

[PapayaMom]

I am sorry to hear that your mom was not helpful and negative. I remember as a first time mom how much i craved reassurance that I was doing a good job that my baby was thriving that we would be ok. It is scary to have this little person depend on you. Sounds like you are doing an awesome job and yes it is hard in the beginning but it does get easier and will get easier. I am glad you found a lactation consultant that works for you.

How is your son doing with his weight, is he back to birth weight? Is he peeing and pooping ok? The reason I ask is that I really like this article regarding whether to wake a sleeping babe to feed or not. It helped me get more sleep and worry a little less.

Demand feeding begins after the baby is a couple of weeks old, has regained his birth-weight, and your milk supply is well established. A healthy baby who is older than two weeks is not going to sleep through feedings –he will most definitely let you know when he is hungry!

Once he is gaining weight steadily, and your milk supply is well established, you can let him set the pace for feedings. It really doesn’t matter whether he nurses every two hours or every four, or whether he takes one breast or two, or whether he nurses for thirty minutes or five minutes, as long as he is having good urine and stool output and gaining weight. I have seen many mothers with roly-poly, thriving babies who are a month or two old who are still setting their alarms and trying to force their babies to nurse and take both breasts at a feeding, when what they really need to do is relax and follow a demand feeding schedule.

There are also some good tips on waking a sleeping baby that might help
http://www.breastfeeding-basics.com/...epy_baby.shtml

In the meantime

[Momma2DoubleCuties]

Hugs expat, thats difficult. But glad you guys are getting your 3 family time now. I agree with Tracy, if he's gaining I'd leave him to sleep. My guy sometimes sleeps through the night and then others he's up 1-3x.

[terra-pip]

Expat--is this your first?

What you described about how hard it is to hold a 9 pounder sounds so familiar. My first was a difficult nurser...I felt like I was fighting him to move his fists, to stop arching his head and tring to suck on my arm instead...my nipples got sore, I had thrush, severe engorgement, clogged ducts and mastitis twice in 6 weeks. I also hated having visitors or going anywhere because it was so frustrating and somewhat embarassing too...I mean here you are looking at what you think is your worst trying to shove a humongous boob into a fussy newborns mouth. You just really don't want spectators!

But something magical happened...we kept at it and then it was effortless...and I nursed him until he was 3 and a half...never supplemented or used a paci!

My second child I had no problems and he nursed until 2 and a half.

This time my nearly 3 week old was over eagar right away..I got sore the first day and had a lot of trouble getting her to latch. Nursing is going well now, but I think she's going through the 3-4 weeks growth spurt fussies. The last few days she has been non stop wanting to nurse. Every 30 min or so with 30 min naps between but going longer 4-5 hours at night.

I try to hold out and see if she'll go longer but no doing. It also doesn't help that she's a sleepy nurser...she actively nurses for 5-10 min and then falls asleep. that sounds good but I try to get her nursing again because I would like her to get more full.

She hasn't been much of a spitter but theres been some gas and a lot of burps and one big scary vomit last night. Husband thinks it was the spinach/artichoke hummus we ate at lunch.

The visitors have finally trickled down to non existant...seems like someone was over everyday the last 2 weeks. Sorry your mom wasn't more helpful expat...my MIL is good at entertaining my boys and she wil fold some laundry if I "happen" to have a basket full in the front room when she visits...sneaky me.."do you need help with this honey?" "oh yeah sure...thanks."

But other than that she is really only good at spending money at Crazy 8!! LOL.

hang in there mama!! And I agree with everyone if he is gaining and putting out the dipes let him sleep a good 5 hours or so. He'll wake and let you know he wants to nurse!

[Surfacing]

So nice to get updates from everyone. Yeah, sorry to hear about your mom Expat, glad that you guys have some alone time now. I can soooooo relate to the difficulties nursing and feeling like a failure or something, when I had dd1. I never was able to resolve my bfing problems with her and ended up pumping and bottle feeding for 5 mos.... but I can totally remember feeling "jealous" that dh could so easily feed her, change her, comfort her, take care of her... all she would do with me is scream, cry, arch away, etc. I felt redundant, useless and un-needed at the time.

I hear you on the hallucinating practically when doing the night feeds. ITA with the others that if he is gaining well and having good pee/poopy diapers, there's no need to wake him if he sleeps a longer stretch through the middle of the night. From day 1 my little guy has a stretch of about 4-5 hrs in the middle of the night, but does a helluva cluster feed before that.

It's good know you found an encouraging LC. Hang in there Expat, adjusting to motherhood can be challenging. Especially with your first baby, not knowing what to expect, not knowing what is working this time and why it didn't work another time, etc. It can be crazy making. It *will* get better. Your little man sounds lovely and handsome.

Somegirl99 - ugh, it sounds so difficult to make that long trip with baby and the stitches etc etc etc. It's good to know you can now get some rest at home for a few days. You need it.

Bjorker - hmmm do you think your headaches are from exhaustion? Dehydration? Stress? Just wondering.

Terra-pip - very smart to leave the laundry out like that!

[mummy marja]

Originally Posted by atpeace

Marja - I've been meaning to ask you if you have a Polish background, as your name is my grandmother's name. Just curious. And the smiling baby thing, I am positive DS has been doing it this week too! Is it for real or is it gas? I can't tell, but it sure is lovely!

I see a couple of Ontario and Canada mamas on here, where is everyone from?

I was named after my aunt, who is from Finland. So cool that your grandmother has the same name, it's pretty rare for me to find people who share my name!

We live close to Sudbury.

expat--You're doing an amazing job! The adjustment is really hard, but it sounds like you're doing everything right! I think if your babe is nursing often during the day and still peeing/pooping enough, let him sleep a little more at night and give yourselves a break.

bjorker: I had a couple of headaches a few days PP but thankfully they disappeared. It must be hard to be feeling like that, especially right now. My DH is feeling pretty amorous too but is really understanding about how I'm feeling. He actually caught DS during the birth, and saw how hard I worked and how much my body went through so he knows it'll be a little while before I'm ready!

Somegirl--I feel for you with the stiches. I only had stiches with my first birth and it really hurts. It's good that you can stay home now for a while. We also had to go for an hour's drive for midwife checks at 2 and 4 days PP, when all I wanted/needed was to stay in bed with my baby.

Surfacing: Your younger dd is only 2.5, right? I guess it's bound to take a while to adjust for her, she's so young. DD was only 2 when Ds was born and that was hard. I remember wishing I could be with her more, I felt so guilty. But it sounds like you've got a great relationship with your DD and that will get you both through. I hope the weekend goes alright for you all!

Baby boy is having his long afternoon nap! He's finally starting to look a bit chubby, which I love! He was 21.5 inches at birth so he's got a pretty long body to fill in. Can't wait to find out how much he weighs now.

[Surfacing]

Marja - thanks, yeah, all it needed is time. Today dd2 came home from my mom's and she lay down on the bed beside ds and snuggled with him while he slept. She kept saying how cute he was. Then dh spent some time with ds and I spent time with dd2 (while dd1 went to play at a friend's down the hall). It just takes time to figure out how to be a mom to three children, when I had been a mom to two children. It also takes time to figure out how to be a mom to three when one is a newborn, and the other two are where they're at! And then things change week by week, month by month, year by year... we are in a state of development ourselves as women and mothers.

Your baby sounds so cute, how he's filling in. Yeah, I LOVE chubby babies too.

Mamakaikai - I have kept the email message I got from MDC with your post about the postpartum feelings, and all of that being so uniquely "mother", etc. In the past I felt ashamed of myself and my difficult feelings (incl. flashbacks to trauma, fears, PPD/PPA)... but somehow right now it just really sits right that yeah, you know, this is an incredibly challenging time but also a really wonderful and unique time.

AFM - the MWs came today. I dunno why, but I found them annoying today. My milk has come in and my boobs are KILLING me. I'd better go do some warm wash cloths on them or something. I was hoping dd2 would come home and nurse to relieve me some, but when she sees the scab on my right nipple, she won't nurse on it, because "Mommy's cici ouchie". That's very considerate of her... but my cici is ouchie also from lots of milk so please! Do me a favour! That's okay. Ds is nursing well. It's tiring. The MWs reminded me to recline a lot more, put my feet up and rest. I have been sitting WAY too much and it has made some very strange pitting edema on the right side of my body. The MW said I should get out for one short walk to contribute to healthy circulation, then lie down lots with my feet up and drink tons of water. I had been drinking water but then mostly herbal teas which I think kind of didn't quite do the job that plain water would be doing. She said to eat watermelon and cucumber so dh walked to the supermarket today (he doesn't drive). Thank goodness for my mom's help watching the older kids - they slept over there last night so we could catch up on some rest and sleep. So awesome. Now we'll have the kids with us on the weekend and I'm trying to pull together some postpartum doula support (volunteer and also paid) for some extra help around the house and for social stimulation, because if I'm in bed all weekend like I'm supposed to be, dh is going to need another set of hands. My BIL and family who usually come and play with us - they are sick so they're out of the picture. Sorry I'm rambling. Hugs to all you ladies.

[welsh]

hi Mamas - Baby is in her moses basket, on her tummy (don't tell anyone!!!) so I've finally got a few mins to post.
Thanks to all who've commiserated with me about my nursing problems. It's especially helpful to read of others who've BTDT or are also having issues.

expat - DD is also waving arms everywhere and trying to suck fingers when I want to latch her on. It helps to swaddle them or just wrap a light blanket around their arms to calm them down

There are no LCs or La Leche meetings etc around here. The community midwives have been good. On their suggestion, I got some breastshells yesterday as the pads were taking my scabs off!!
There are holes at the top of the shells so hopefully letting some air get in will help.
I have gauze dressings called Jelonet that I cut strips off and apply to my nipples between feeds.

I do feel like her latch is improving. She's 9 days old today and she seems to be able to open a little wider. The damage done though needs to heal before the toe-curling pain is going to stop. It's not as bad as it was..

Keep reminding myself that this soon shall pass. Giving baby lots of loving pep talks too about how we *have* to make this work!!!!
So in love though! I really feel like my family is complete.

Because we're in the in-laws home, it's been harder too. I can't walk around topless! And I don't feel like I can just cry when I need to!
OTOH, they have been entertaining DS if necessary and feeding us all.

Interestingly, in the 9 days that DH has been home, DS has not wet the bed at night. At all. It was happening at least 3 times a week before. I knew it was psychological because he hadn't ever wet before and had been dry since March. Poor baby! He's still desperate to get back to 'our house in Russia'

Wish I had time to respond to all of your posts. Will try and come back later.
Thinking of you all!!

[ProtoLawyer]

Originally Posted by somegirl99

Proto, I also fell asleep with DS on my chest in the hospital after nursing, I found it super hard to get out of bed holding him to put him in the bassinet as I was too short to reach it from the bed. Every time I got up holding him I was so stiff and awkward moving it would wake him up anyway. I still tried to get up because I was worried about dropping him from the hospital bed as it was narrow and high, although I never did. I was lucky though, as the only time a nurse found me cuddled with him asleep, she just picked him up and tucked him in the bassinet and tried to let me keep sleeping.

Some of this, I'm sure, is a function of geography--Milwaukee's lost several babies this year to *unsafe* co-sleeping (in nearly every situation, baby was laid on pillows or on a couch or chair or with siblings or there were drugs/alcohol involved) so there's been an all-out campaign (complete with semi-graphic public displays involving mattresses, couches, and tombstones on busy intersections) against all co-sleeping. So, the hospitals are complying and getting tougher and lecture-y. I had trouble getting out of bed at all--my section incision was on fire pretty well constantly but I couldn't stand being as doped up as they wanted me to be (aside: Why does the medical profession consider pain to be the worst thing ever and assume that we need to put up with whatever side effects we have to in order to prevent it? While I'm sure I don't want to be going through this without any drugs, I'm OK with a little pain if it means I'm more lucid. They gave me a button for IV painkillers the first day, then got upset I wasn't pushing it more often. What's the point, then?)--so if my baby was with me and I was alone, I couldn't safely get him into the bassinet at all. I was apparently supposed to hit the call button when I felt ready to fall asleep.

AFM, now...TMI...OMG constipation! I was blessed not to be constipated at all during pregnancy, even with taking iron--I have a self-diagnosed irritable bowel that usually presents as diarrhea, and I think pregnancy slowed things down just to the point that things were normal and comfortable. Now, between the section, the narcotics, the bland salty hospital food, and the hormones, WOW. I've been taking the stool softener but I'm not sure it's helping (or maybe this is helping? Eeech). More fiber, please.

[J. Jones]

10 days PP and feeling good.

I can't believe the mush that my abdominal muscles have become - but I'm feeling stronger than I have in months; I've even got a yen to ride a bicycle! I don't think that will be for another two weeks though - the undercarriage is still healing from a few stitches and a bike seat seems ouchie. I've been doing breathing-ab work to prevent/heal from Diastasis Recti

Ankles and toes have made a reappearance with the decreased edema, thank goodness!

Baby is fine, so glad to have a chance with a non-colicky one this time! She's a breeze! I've even been googling "newborn sleeps too much" - she eats with gusto though, so I'm thinking everything is ok.

What kind of fitness plans to other moms have going?

[MJB]

6 days PP. Sleep-deprived as heck and had a serious meltdown last night. We went out to eat because I was starving and my husband hadn't been to the grocery; but after waiting over an hour for our food we left and I went to bed without dinner.
My 18-yr. old SIL is staying with us, which I'm pretty angry about; I told my husband a month ago that this would not be a good time for houseguests and that was when I only expected to be 9 mos. pregnant and not 4-8 days postpartum. I've been holing up in my room for privacy because while I love the girl, I'm sitting around with my boobs out and I'm bleeding and I really just don't want anyone here. My husband did not tell me he didn't tell her she couldn't stay with us so it was sprung on me when she arrived with a suitcase (my FIL is also in town but at a hotel which was my plan for her). I'm mad that my husband isn't protecting my privacy and that he ignored my wishes.
The baby was awake and crying from 12:30-2am and from 5-6am and then again from 8-9. We both went back to sleep from 8-9. She seems really gassy and fussy all of a sudden so I think it must be something I ate.
I have, for the third time, extreme oversupply. I've been pumping only enough to prevent a 10th bout of mastitis which is every 4-6 hours for 5 minutes, and I have over 70 oz. of frozen milk already stored. My nipples are mildly cracked and bleeding and latch-on provokes some serious cursing but the engorgement is the worst. Edie nurses for about 8-12 minutes every 3 hours, and only one side at a time. She has already gained some weight and is peeing and pooping a TON (she soaks the Flip inserts).
Gosh I sound miserable! I'm really not (okay, physically, my boobs are killing me but otherwise). I'm so happy to not be pregnant and back in some of my regular clothes, although few of my shirts fit a 34F without flashing some belly. I feel more rested today than yesterday having gotten a full nights sleep over the course of 12+ hours.
Okay I am stinky and have to go shower now!

[majazama]

nak

baby has gained 5 oz. in the past 3 days, so it seems that hes doing well. I am tired. I don't like waking up at 3 am and at 7 am, but Im sure it could be worse! I co-sleep, but still.. he needs adjusting on the boob, diaper change etc.

my DP went away for the night to a paintball tournament. Im at home w/ the three kids, all by myself. Not even 2 weeks PP today. my mom was here for a week, but she had "important" things to get back home for. I don't know what it is, but I'm not getting nearly as much support as I had w/ the girls.

[tarasattva]

bjorker - headaches - OMG yes. I ended up w/ a visit to the dr b/c mine were so bad and had lasted so long (2 wks). For me it was a combo - ear infection/sinus infection/mastitis (long story, but hopefully none of which are your problem) and tension headache. I only mention this b/c I didn't realize that I was clenching my shoulders/neck/teeth when he was latching on and then kept clenched while feeding. This combined w/ constantly holding a 9.5# babe and hauling around ENORMOUS boobs had tightened my neck/shoulders so badly that the headaches couldn't quit. Now I consciously think about dropping my shoulders and relaxing as I cuddle, and have a warmed rice sock around my neck quite often. Hope this might help you too.

expat - my "little" guy insists on getting his hands/arms between the boob and his mouth all. of. the. time. And he hates being swaddled (as in screams and will not calm down) so that doesn't work for us. I have found that in cradle hold I can lay his lower arm up straight by his head (as it would be if someone were laying down on their side using their arm for a pillow) and it gets "trapped" under my ginormous boob which gets at least one arm out of the mix. Slowly he is catching on though...

I also wanted to say that as a second timer who had a great nursing relationship w/ my DD, even people who have btdt have struggles when our babes are so little and just learning how to nurse. I had forgetten the tears and frustration and fears of early nursing w/ DD and now it's come back so clearly ("incompetent", "incapable", "what is wrong with me" - those were mine). But in my saner moments I _know_ that this is part of the learning and we _will_ get to the other side. Please know that you're not alone, many of us (most?) have been (or are) exactly where you are, and it will get better, and at some point you will look back at this time and be telling some other new mum this story of how you too struggled. Please ask for help if you need it (it sounds like you've found some good resources), but also know that in those moments of struggle that mums the world around know that feeling and draw your strength from the knowledge that over millions of years mums have figured it out and babes have learned to nurse. And you too will find your way to the place where you whip out a boob and the kiddo latches himself on and happily drinks his fill.

[majazama]

just an fyi, pumping can increase your milk production, MJB.

[welsh]

Originally Posted by tarasattva

but also know that in those moments of struggle that mums the world around know that feeling and draw your strength from the knowledge that over millions of years mums have figured it out and babes have learned to nurse. And you too will find your way to the place where you whip out a boob and the kiddo latches himself on and happily drinks his fill.

Thank you for posting this.

This afternoon I've been crying and thinking 'I don't want to breastfeed, it hurts too much'....
which is pointless because I won't give up so the negative self-talk needs to be replaced with some positivity.

BUT, I'm frustrated as h@ll that I only weaned DS at the start of my pregnancy, my body knows how to do this, why does it hurt soooooo much?!!! Blah, blah, blah. Arghhhhhhhhhhhh!