budget help for changing circumstances *UPDATE*

[doubledutch]

*UPDATE* we've separated and i have a bit more info to work with now, so i'm posting my new budget a bit further down the thread.

***

i'm trying to figure out what my new budget will be like as a single mom. stbx will be ordered to pay child support (and part of childcare and part of medical expenses) but i don't really want to count on that at this point. some of my expenses will be lower than they have been, but i don't know how much. stbx just got a job, so previously, he was home all day with 1-2 kids, so i figure utilities will go down with the house empty. groceries also, not just by a factor of one adult, but a bit more than that, since i have been buying a lot of convenience/processed foods for stbx, and the boys will have breakfast, lunch and snack at school five days a week (times two kids) instead of three days a week (one kid). so some of these may be even lower than i'm guessing.

these are monthly numbers, but i get paid every other week. that means twice a year, i have a paycheck where i have to buy groceries and gas, but no major bills. those two paychecks are how i pay for the things that are not listed here. i also "compact" so all our stuff comes from the thrift store (with my "spending money" because that's what i like to do for fun) and/or homemade, and my parents give my kids a lot of practical gifts for birthdays and xmas.

200 gas
150 water/gas (averaged)
30 electric
30 trash
610 mortgage
190 insurance
235 student loan
300 groceries
50 target
1390 childcare
15 blog
50 med copays
80 spending money

this is about $400 over what i actually bring home per month. as i transition to this single mom deal, my mother has offered to help me with the higher childcare cost, and i've deferred my student loan payment until november. i'm not going to be short. hopefully within a few months, things will be settled legally and stbx's support will help cover child care and some expenses for the boys like shoes, winter coat, med copay.

insurance is high, i know. that's car, home, life x 2. i think $35 of that is life insurance for stbx. if i ask the insurance company to stop autopay from my account, he will let it lapse and have no life insurance. i was planning to just keep it on there.

i really want to keep the current childcare situation. ds1 has gone to this preschool since fall, and ds2 just started a month ago to transition him because i knew this was coming, and i didn't want him to go from full-time-sahd to full-time-daycare. they currently both go 3 days a week ($900) but will go full time very soon.

oh, the "target" category means exactly that, money i spend at target. that's for toilet paper, paper towels, dish soap, otc medicines, diapers (we use 1 per night). i normally budget $50 every paycheck, but i think i could easily drop it to once a month.

so is this realistic? what am i missing (besides savings)? can i cut anything? if stbx doesn't pay anything, i will have to do something for extra income on the weekends he has the kids, but only for a year. ds1 will start kindergarten next year, so my childcare costs would go down then.

[jwpsgurl]

Since it doesn't seem like you have any debt besides your mortgage and student loan, I would start an emergency fund. It is good just to be prepared.

[doubledutch]

i would love to have any kind of savings (and i used to), but there is zero money in the above budget to put away.

[texmati]

one thing I don't see on there is phone/internet/cable. Not saying that you absolutely need those-- but something you may have missed?

[Defenestrator]

When my husband lost his job I switched our student loans to the "income-based repayment" program with Sallie Mae and it cut our payment from $275 to $90. Might be something to look into for you.

[doubledutch]

oh yeah - i'm on my mom's cell phone plan. i don't have internet/cable. um. at home.

[zebra15]

Emergency fund? What happens when something breaks and you need it fixed NOW?
Haircuts?
Dental?
Vision?
Retirement savings?
Regular savings?
Taxes on the house?


Right now you are $4800 short a year

DO you need to keep the house? I would sell the house if at all possible and look for an apartment. This would lower the utilites and insurance rates.

[doubledutch]

*UPDATE* this is the new budget.

200 gas
150 water/gas (averaged)
30 electric
30 trash
610 mortgage
190 insurance
235 student loan
300 groceries
50 target
890 childcare
15 blog
50 med copays
80 spending money

he has requested tuesday/thursday as his visitation days with the kids, so we're sticking with 3 days/wk childcare for now. i guess if he decides he really needs to work those days, then they will be full time, but at that point he would need to pay for their care during his parenting time.

this budget leaves $90 at the end of the month.

zebra's smart things i forgot about:

emergencies . . . hmm. i'll have to start saving that scrappy little $50 per month. (or i could end up having more for savings, if stbx pays child support.) in a pinch, if i needed something fixed NOW (car, furnace) my parents would help me or i would charge it and pay it off. it would appear that i also have the $235 student loan payment (since that's on hold) but i need that money for the costs involved with splitting up. it's set to resume in november, and i'm hoping this transitional period is over by then.

my monthly hair cut ($35 plus tip). if i try to stretch it out to be less frequent, i lose the monthly rate, so it's not really a savings. i'm trying to grow it out but it's quite short, so it will be a while before it hits the stage where i can let it go for many months at a time.

dental - well, i guess that's the copay. i've got two office visit copays on here per month (medical or dental) and we have no copay for well-child visits. i think we're safe here.

vision - yeah, i kind of need glasses. but whatever. it can wait. kids don't.

retirement already comes out of my check, just a smidge, will bump it up when i can.

regular savings - again, i feel like, i will get to it when i can. i'm 30. ds1 will start kindergarten next year and ds2 the year after, so that will drop my childcare costs way down. (i may still have some childcare expenses before or after school.)

taxes and selling the house. this is so complicated. we actually have two homes. the $610 is mortgage, taxes & insurance on the home we are trying to sell. when it sells, we're supposed to take out a mortgage on the family home to pay my father back (he paid cash for it). so at that point, the taxes and insurance would be rolled into the new house payment. so right now, i do have to come up with property tax payments in chunks, which comes from our income tax refund. the new piti payment will be higher than the $610 i'm currently paying, but i will no longer have to also pay tax & insurance separately, and utilities would be lower as i'm paying them for two houses right now. obviously the "for sale" house doesn't cost much to maintain in terms of utilities but it does cost something. new house payment would be about $800 with tax & insurance included, but that estimate is based on a 6.5% interest rate. hopefully i can do better than that.

if the old house doesn't sell, i would consider moving back there, and selling the new house. in fact, the boys and i are staying in the old house during this separation. it's a good little house - and i do mean little. 700 sq ft. new house is 1350, better yard, infintitely better neighborhood. not that much more expensive (obviously). i wouldn't mind selling both houses and getting an apartment, because i actually would love to live downtown again, enjoy apartment living, don't love yardwork, and don't need a ton of space. however, even a 1 br is $600/month. i would only have to pay electric (water/heat are typically included) so there is some savings, i admit, but i'd also have to park outside all winter, be in a less-good neighborhood for kindy, and it doesn't seem worth losing the money on the sale of the house when, as i've pointed out, this tight budget is temporary. if it were necessary, i wouldn't hesitate. however it does look like i can cover my bills, and if it's too tight, i can work a bit more. losing 6% of the sale price in realtor's fees just to save $100-$200 a month (for a 1br apt) doesn't really make sense to me in this case - although i get that downsizing is often the only choice poeple have. i just don't think things are that dire.

thanks for your good ideas about other places the money needs to go!

[honeybunmom]

Not much to add here . . . but if you sorta need glasses, do you sorta need them to drive? If so, I wouldn't hold off given you've got precious cargo.

[doubledutch]

important point. i do have glasses. the sort of / waiting thing, is how often i go to the eye doctor, and how often i get new glasses. i would like new glasses - it's not really a need. it can wait.

[mamaofprincesses]

If there's a beauty school near you, you should try them for haircuts. It could save you $20/month, which could then go towards the emergency fund.

Do you qualify for WIC? That could also cut your grocery bill.

[doubledutch]

i don't qualify for wic. i used to get it. ds2 is already 3yo now. actually, i think i would qualify if stbx and i stayed together, but dropping from a family of 4 to a family of 3 means my income is now too high. funny.

for sure i could go a lot cheaper with the hair cuts. i would rather eliminate my spending money and/or delete my blog. ah, vanity.

i think there is room here to cut back. my electric being $30 a month - i mean, it has been as low as $30 sometimes, with stbx home all day, every day, watching movies, and that's the bill for both houses. so for sure, with just one house that's empty all day, it will be lower. the gas bill might be lower next winter, being able to turn the heat down every day too (plus even when we're there, i like it cooler than stbx, uh, because i keep warm by hustling around doing housework while he sits on his . . . )

thanks for all the good ideas ladies - i wanted to make sure i wasn't missing anything major and you've helped me feel better about it. i know this looks pretty shaky, but it will be so much better a year from now when ds1 starts kindergarten, and this isn't taking into account any contribution from stbx. i've done the calculator and he would be ordered to pay child support, plus contribute to child care costs and medical. no guarantee i would ever be able to actually collect, but still. it's a possibility.