funny conversation the other day

[laughingfox]

Since I have a new baby, people keep asking about my labor experiences and stuff. I had this conversation the other day with someone who works in the medical field-

Her: Was this labor shorter than your first?
Me: Not much shorter, just different. My first was 38 hours and-
Her: OMG, what was WRONG?!?
Me: Um.. nothing.
Her: but why weren't you dilating?!?!?
Me: Um.. because I just wasn't.

She looked a bit baffled at that point, and that part of our conversation pretty much ended.

[CoBabyMaker]

Haha! My MIL and SIL were concerned about how long my MW would let me labor for because "they used to let women labor for days and then they were half dead." Nope, not kidding.

[dannic]

What was wrong? There were no hospital requirements for "progress", lol...

[Comtessa]

I had almost this exact same conversation the other day! I went to see a new OB/GYN for my annual Pap smear, and I quizzed her a bit to feel her out on the birth stuff... I wanted to know if there was a chance she'd be worth keeping around when I get pregnant again. Not a chance!!!

Here's how it went:

ME: I really liked my last OB, too bad we couldn't stay on that insurance, because he was great, really unusual.
HER: Unusual how?
ME: Well, he was just marvelous about protecting me in the hospital environment.
HER: [looking uncomfortable] Protecting you? What do you mean?
ME: Well, see, I had planned a home birth, but I ended up transferring to the hospital. He was really great about the whole thing.
HER: [smugly settling her 'expert hat' on] Oh, I see. Yes, that happens with home birth. Birth is dangerous.
ME: [bristling a bit] Well, I was never in danger, just tired. I was in labor for three days, and after that I needed an IV and some pain meds, so my midwife suggested a transfer. It out worked quite well, in my opinion.
HER: [horrified] You were in labor for three days??? That's not NORMAL!
ME: Well, yes, it's a little unusual, but it's not impossible.
HER: So what was wrong that it took so long?
ME: Um, nothing was wrong. The baby just took her time.
HER: [definitively] No, if it takes that long, something is wrong. I would never have let you stay in labor that long; I would have found out what was wrong and fixed it.
ME: And that is precisely why I planned a home birth.

[laughingfox]

Originally Posted by Comtessa

I would never have let you stay in labor that long; I would have found out what was wrong and fixed it.

(emphasis added by me)

That's the mindset that creeps me out the most.
It would have been different (and showed concern rather than a need for control) if your OB said, for example, "I wouldn't have made you go that long."

[MegBoz]

Originally Posted by Comtessa

ME: And that is precisely why I planned a home birth.

I love your writing style!
& love that last line. Awesome that you came out & said that!

& good point, Laughingfox.

[Momma Moo Martin]

Gah! This drives me crazy. I was in labor for 46 hours with my DD and people act like I'm a mutant when I say that. Sometimes it's just easier to let the conversation end like you did, laughingfox. Comtessa, you are a Bad-A for saying that. Good for you!!!
Strong women speaking their mind make me so happy!

[cathicog]

Good for you, Laughingfox! and Comtessa! Now, how do we teach people who are taught to control birth, that most times, birth doesn't need to be controlled, and to just watch, and let it happen....???

[jorona]

I love having this conversation, it comes up a lot now that I'm pregnant again. My first was 32 hours and my own mother still makes comments to this day about how I should have just asked for a cesarean.

Loving the replies you ladies have come up with!

[AFWife]

Well of course something was wrong. You know you can't trust your own body during labor. You can only trust your doctor.

[cristeen]

Wow. You all had short labors.

People look at me like I sprouted a second head when I tell them I was in labor for 5 days and had broken membranes for 56 hours. I haven't bothered telling anyone in the medical profession that - it's just asking for harassment. But even the non-medical people think I'm insane for 'enduring' that without drugs, and I've had several comment that they would have insisted upon a c-section.