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Originally Posted by leahjoy  Everyone tells me that one day it will just *click* and he will begin doing it on his own, but in the meantime, I'm changing 1-3 pairs of poopy underwear a day. My husband and I have tried to keep a very casual attitude about it "Oops! Oh well! Hopefully we will make it to the potty next time", which is perhaps why my son is so casual about it too, but it drives me crazy! Whenever he does it, he will just say to me casually "I pooped in my underwear". And for some reason, this laid-back attitude just really gets under my skin.
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This was a hot-button, steam coming out of the ears issue for me, especially because we did/do EC with our babies (and I
expected results! ha ha). I had a few times of screaming into pillows or into the air (not cool, scares any the rest of the poop out of the kid, not literally, but you know...)
Here are my lessons learned from DS1, bless his heart:
1. really active boys who like to play in water and sand and have excellent powers of concentration are not likely to move from playing for 2 Tbsp. of pee, and if they need to poop, they may not notice/move/tell you until it is 'too late.'
2. Getting mad will not help. at. all. Breathe through it, mama. Foist clean-up off on DH if he's around and it makes DH less crazy than it makes you. This was my strategy when we were having poop accidents more often than I wanted or I was tired/cranky and didn't want to deal with it.
3. Praise efforts, even if they fall short. "Hey, you noticed that you made a poop. Thanks for letting me know." Think of the animal training method where incremental movement towards the target behavior is rewarded, and look at the progress that he is making.
4. Be proactive about pottying. Make it a non-negotiable that we try to potty once an hour or so, before meals, before leaving the house, etc. We tell DS, "Even if you don't feel like you need to pee, let's go sit on the potty anyway. You don't have to pee, but you have to give it a shot. That way, you don't need to think about it again for awhile."
5. Make it fun. Race him to the bathroom, have a race to see who can pull their pants down fastest (winner gets to use the toilet first). Have special potty toys you play with together when he's sitting on the commode. For our DS, fire is an obsession, so it works great to say in a squeaky voice of a potty candle, "Hey M, it's been awhile since I got to burn. Will you come sit on the potty so that mama can light me again?" Sometimes I will ask if he wants to use the big toilet or his toddler potty, and which one I should use.
6. Offer him options and responsibility - do you want reminders to go potty? Get yourself some clean undies and pants out of the basket, and put them on. Let me know if you need help.
7. If he is reward-driven, I would happily resort to bribery/sticker charts/M&Ms - one of those things I thought, "I'll NEVER..." until I had a child, and now I understand. Unfortunately for my pottying agenda, DS doesn't care passionately about anything except fire and nursing.
8. If your family is into scatalogical humor, I had a friend who actually kept a "poop log," complete with drawings and names, of all the poops that went into the toilet for some months. Maybe a record of successes would be a motivator. DS does like to appraise his efforts with comments like, "I made a poopsnake," followed by a lot of giggling. But our household will never mature past fart jokes; you might not be so low-brow.
I can also tell you that you and he WILL come out the other side. We still have to do TONS of reminders, and we're batting about 50/50 with dry days versus accidents, but he is finally pretty consistent about noticing when he needs to poop before the blessed event occurs. His code is, "Will you take care of me?" I am so grateful for this, and I am happy to drop whatever I am doing to hustle into the bathroom and take care of him.
